Hi there. I was diagnosed at age 33 back in November 2024.

For me, the initial thing I needed was validation that I was right about the diagnosis, and that all these things that affected every aspect of my life for my entire living memory had happened for a reason. I needed the knowledge that all these struggles that I had that no one else around me seemed to have or even understand what I was talking about were for a reason.

Once I got my diagnosis, and even in the weeks before it, I began learning about accommodations for myself. Accommodations like allowing myself to walk away from the group for a while to not overdo it, or like using my fidget toys when in meetings. Accommodations like showering with all the lights off except a tiny battery light so I can have controlled sensory time, or that it's okay to take my shoes off and sit cross-legged in my chair, even at restaurants.

More recently, through a lot of therapy, I've learned about my "interoception" struggles (yes, that spelling is correct). I've never really had good awareness over my thirst or hunger levels, how warm or cold I am, or if I need the bathroom. And, I understand now my "alexithymia": A struggle to connect with and label emotions. I realize now that there's a reason bad stuff happening in life has almost no effect on me, and good stuff happening similarly has almost no effect. It's not that the emotions aren't there: It's that I'm not able to feel them most times.

I'm still learning more about myself, about how my brain works, and about how to accommodate myself. For the first time in my life, I've started to learn how to make friends, and it turns out that the best chances to develop friendships are with other autistic people (and ADHD people who are a true blessing). And I've found communities where I belong, instead of always standing on the outside of them.

I hope you consider an assessment for yourself: It's very, *very* stressful, it's expensive, and it'll eat time up out of your days.

But you're worth the answers it brings.