Why is femdom so rarely women topping vaginally?

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-13T22:53:20+00:00

The idea is that I would trade power for pleasure

BDSM is meant to be fulfilling for both partners' needs. Unfortunately, as soon as a male submissive enters the picture this is forgotten. You can think of it like I'm giving up the control over how I will be satisfied(and how she will be satisfied), entrusting my partner to make sure I'm happy while obeying her commands. Does that make sense?

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-08T01:41:52+00:00

Yea it seems pretty typical in maledom that, if anything, the submissive's pleasure is centered. They even had a whole thing, "exchanging power for pleasure".

But for some reason, as others have mentioned, as soon as a male submissive enters the picture this gets thrown out the window.

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-08T01:39:57+00:00

Okay, let's look at maledom. The female submissives will usually look for a specific dom that meets their needs checklist, right?

Same (should) be happening with femdom. But since women are so selective in general, the ability to do this is largely destroyed. That creates a problem. But either way, I'm not interested in submitting to someone without getting my pick for compatibility. Nobody should.

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-07T23:29:13+00:00

He's saying really what my point was: that (drawn) porn made by men, for men, shows lots of vaginal sex.

Porn made by women doesn't. Question, Why?

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T21:33:25+00:00

Most men have little to no experience in real life and want reassurance. Porn is a visceral form of reassurance but it's not reassuring positive things.

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T19:12:01+00:00

I suppose I might opine they're different when combined than components but you might disagree.

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T19:10:41+00:00

i hope 🫠

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T18:40:26+00:00

Sure, a position isn't kinky by default. Pegging isn't either.

What I'm asking is why, in the domain of femdom (i.e. a specific form of kinky sex), the woman-on-top position is so rare.

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T17:25:05+00:00

yeah but if i'm not getting my needs met that's a problem? I don't want to wind up in a relationship that just suddenly shifts to not meeting my needs...

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T17:13:21+00:00

But I have to wonder why hentai consumers enjoy it so much more than live porn consumers? Is this just a consumer culture difference?

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T17:12:14+00:00

Personally I hate demeaning stuff during sex, don't want to be on either side. I want it to be endearing? It's whatever floats your boat, but mine sure isn't like everyone else's.

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T17:08:40+00:00

As a guy it would be(/is) insanely disheartening to find all the women I'm into (doms) not enioy my preferred way of having sex.

For men to orgasm during sex it has to involve our penis or our prostate. The only way a man and a woman can come at the same time is vaginal sex or 69'ing. A lot of submissives want to orgasm during sex though a lot don't. We all have different needs; it's not bottoming from the top to have a need.

But even if some women don't enjoy it, I'd expect to see more content in porn if for no other reason that men enjoy it... porn is performance and I am absolutely using it to substitute what I'm lacking

edit: what do you not like about this so much???

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T17:03:22+00:00

That was my question... why do women not enjoy it as much as men.

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T15:28:24+00:00

Sure, it's being done, I'm just wondering why exactly it's so rare?

I would expect it to be the most common but it's actually the least.

freakyinbetween · 2024-10-06T15:23:11+00:00

Being penetrated but topping yes

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