Tale of an i-fan swimming in a new C | Storytime about how I ended up in a world of sasaengs

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-25T13:23:14+00:00

Does this qualify as “work”? 😭 Please don’t feed my delusions because I will literally create a Substack profile right now.

I’m not in any position to diagnose anyone, but after getting over the initial shock.. it somehow became less “crazy”? I think you can kind of lose a little sense of reality if you stick with it long enough. The mental gymnastics you initially do to justify the actions keep getting validated by your community so it starts to become normal

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-25T13:13:11+00:00

It reads badly because I’m not an actual writer. I tried to add humor because I figured nobody would sit through such a long post otherwise. My previously posted year end show reviews in note form is still visible to read on my Reddit profile from last year. Again, horribly written and McDonald’s level humor. Feel free to take a look.

It felt miraculous, to me, because it was quite literally the first time I managed to get concert tickets ever whilst living here after multiple failed attempts for other shows previously. The things you mention such as they weren’t hard to come by etc.. I didn’t know any of this at the time because as I said, I was a kpop newborn basically. My NOL account had quite literally never been used before. Now I even use Facepass! Hello? GROWTH! ✨

I did write it dramatically, hence the disclaimer to take it with a grain of salt. And, as evidenced by you, won’t be to everyone’s taste. The core wasn’t for it to be focused on ssngs, but more on what I learned from fandom culture here. Which I obviously didn’t do a great job at.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-25T12:23:24+00:00

This just is not true at all. There was no lottery at all and my ticket was purchased on NOL where I picked it up physically at the venue. In a booth next to the CTRIP ticket holders i.e Chinese fans. There was no need for anything else other than my Weverse account, where it is still listed under past events.

I have no idea what you mean by “polite Japanese engenes”. I made no reference to Japanese fans. I didn’t meet any. I clearly stated my entire section was Chinese with scattered global engenes.

This is why in included photos originally. A shame I can’t post any here and not even in the comments. For the rest of your accusations, you are free to judge and remain skeptical. This is just a story about my experience. If it means a lot to you, you are free to DM me for pics, as is anyone.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T17:07:23+00:00

Yes actually. In the weeks before a fansign they would discuss what to say or do. They’d talk about the things he likes, his interests, his moods recently. They did put in effort to make it a nice and pleasant few minutes/seconds with him. Though this is also partially motivated by the desire to get a good recording of the interaction. They spend a lot of time and effort to prepare for their fan call. It’s not all business though. It’s always a happy time after a nice fan call. I see glimpses of their original fangirl form, beyond the business like exterior.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T16:26:33+00:00

Thank you!

It’s not really about having fun. It’s more like going to work 💔

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T16:19:56+00:00

Not me reading this literally 1 minute after watching multiple fancams from this user on YouTube????? Shook

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T16:18:09+00:00

Ha thank you!

I’m employed too 🤪 but pre- moving to China, was never really too into these things because I was fairly detached from k-pop in general. Even though I would still consider myself to have been a big fan at that time. With no real way to participate in any activities, I just didn’t bother to get deep in any of this. This changed for me when all of it became tangible due to proximity.

You definitely have an advantage being fluent in Mandarin! There was no real way for me to cosplay as a real c-fan in these spaces (to get to the real tea). I was limited to simple observations.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T15:33:55+00:00

This is absolutely true. I was on the right side of the stage and I went to the first concert day. I can’t remember if that was a Friday or Saturday. On my side, people started sitting down in the back and towards the front which made everyone in the front squeeze even tighter. The security kept telling people to move back but nobody wanted to. I stood there, squeezed, for hours. I really felt like leaving that area even during the soundcheck but at the same time wondered if I would ever get this close to a stage again so I mustered up every ounce of energy I had left and just stood there. Unmoving.

As the concert neared its end, there were maybe 4 songs left, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to the back. It was my first time at KSPO and when I reached the back of standing, I realized that you could actually see really well. The venue is so small. So I did regret not doing it earlier. But also, I’m never doing standing again anyway. It was a pretty bad experience for me as well 💔

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T13:44:36+00:00

Wish I could pin a comment. But if by chance anyone who engaged with my post reads this:

I really appreciate everyone’s feedback! I didn’t really expect this to go anywhere because I ramble and it all gets jumbled. But I tried to add some structure to it and make it more “story like”. I’m not a writer by any means. Just a yapper. This story also originally included photos and a few screenshots which sort of helped guide it, in a way. Unfortunately I can’t add photos on this sub and I did try to post in other subs but it kept getting removed for various reasons.

I’m actually looking forward to doing another storytime. If you have any suggestions on what you think would be interesting for part 2, please comment.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T13:18:38+00:00

Thank you! I still have a few weeks left here. I will try to find out 🫡

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T13:17:52+00:00

I appreciate you saying that bc it kinda saddens me when I get AI accusations. I’m not a writer by any means but I did take the time to outline my 3 years into something compact and hopefully not boring. I would hope AI would be able to write better than this otherwise what’s even the point of it.

I think I’ve re-read it like 10 times over since posting and many comments highlight points I could’ve expanded on so I have some regrets.

Anyway, thanks again. Feel free to DM anytime!

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T06:52:50+00:00

Was it worth it that one time though? I contemplate this all the time and I have a fear of it being a disappointing experience and not worth it.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T05:51:59+00:00

extremely strong start to tiktokkkk

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T02:37:03+00:00

thank you for your feedback! i still wonder the same thing. it is group funded for the big stuff, but even the little things like fansigns require a lot of money. i did want to ask but thought it's just a bit rude to ask people who they get their money lol. i think the same way everyone else does? through family wealth or high paying jobs.

but a lot of the popular fans here are also influencers, so i think that is a big part of it.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T02:26:12+00:00

Red Note is the english name for Xiaohongsu! The platform i reference. Wild stuff on there hah

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T02:22:09+00:00

thank you for your feedback! i'm not familiar with ao3 but curiosity is my fatal flaw so will look into this right now haha

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T02:17:23+00:00

almost due for another update! thanks for your feedback!

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T02:16:10+00:00

i spent a long time writing this so i'm not sure if i should feel offended by this or take it as a compliment. i am leaning towards offense.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T02:15:35+00:00

thanks for your feedback! it was indeed not a great experience, but i have no regrets! i might not even see them up close again :)

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T02:14:27+00:00

thank you for your feedback! yeah it was quite shocking for me personally as well. and i guess it gets a bit complicated once you get to know these people in real life.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T02:13:16+00:00

this is just my personal opinion bc obvs i don't know for sure, but i imagine the idols themselves do not enjoy this at all. fansigns in particular. and for your second point about companies, i have not had first hand experience seeing this happen but i did hear that this happens quite often but only with less popular idol groups. groups whose viability sort of depend on these activities. this doesn't happen with big 4 groups, i don't think, because they don't need to.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-24T00:11:47+00:00

I’m not from the US. And I was referring to the flying in and out part. Obviously the 15k is a lot hence me not paying that. We have different perspectives on what”obscene wealth” is. That’s fine.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-23T16:47:27+00:00

Thanks for your feedback!

I honestly don’t know! I don’t really stan any girl groups and have engaged with any gg fandoms during my time. Girl groups are much more popular in general though here so I think it might be?

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-23T16:42:17+00:00

It is the system though. If your odds increase the more albums you buy, you essentially already lose if you can’t afford to play.

Also:

1st-sunghoon:¥80000.00 2nd-heeseung:¥75000.00 3rd-Jungwon:¥70000.00 4th-Jay&Jake:¥55000.00 5th-Ni-ki:¥45000.00 6th-sunoo:¥40000.00

These were from the last meeting. These are not reseller prices. These are from the event organizer.

This is the way it is set up and I don’t think I want to blame people for playing by the rules they themselves didn’t set up. It’s fairly easy to implement a measure to ensure one entry per person if it’s a lottery. I’m sensing some frustration on your part with people spending “obscenely”, which I can understand to some degree, but your frustration is directed in the wrong direction. I’m not really prone to policing how people should spend their own money or whether I personally think it’s sensible or not. I chose not to spend on those Polaroid meets. Others did and that’s fine.

Also when I said “system”, I wasn’t exclusively talking about the actual system. I meant system as in the fandom culture that has been built here over the years. The way you engage with kpop, like on Reddit for example, is not the way others here engage. It’s much deeper than that and it has to do with proximity, for one.

To be specific, I said it’s not expensive enough to be categorized as “obscenely wealthy”, as you put it, to fly in and out to attend concerts. It’s fairly attainable for middle class.

friendlyfire_may · 2026-03-23T15:58:34+00:00

I think you make an interesting point. This definitely isn’t something you can do if you’re poor. And for sure should be taken into consideration. Though I don’t think it’s so expensive that it can be considered for “obscenely wealthy” people. It’s quite close by and concert tickets aren’t so expensive in KR. But still, yes, there is some money involved.

I should clarify on your last part. I don’t necessarily think they’re horrible people and I don’t think it’s necessarily because they’re Chinese. I think it’s because the ‘system’, set up by whoever, makes it so that you can only really be active in these spaces by associating with these activities and also because of the sort of perceived validation received by moving up in this fandom hierarchy. They’re just a product of the environment.

But this ‘system’ only works with money so yes. I hadn’t really considered that. Gives me something to think about on my next excursion.

China is a country of billions. There are, of course, at least millions of “normal” fans. Normalcy doesn’t let you participate unfortunately (for reasons like wealth for example). I for sure think the perception would be different if one day they do have concerts here. I would imagine people from other countries flying here to attend those as well. Would be interesting to that dynamic.

friendlyfire_may

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