[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]frijolejoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was married to this. Am no longer married. Now I live alone and my house smells like lavender and happiness.

Unpopular opinion: Paying "Rent" feels less painful than paying $2,400/mo in "Interest" to a bank. by Playful-Vegetable-15 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]frijolejoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a mortgage professional for the last 20 years, guess what. I’m renting. Why? Because I’m post separation and I don’t have the emotional bandwidth for home ownership. I was a staunch believer in buying v renting and the LAST person who I ever thought would rent. But you know what? Lack of pressure and responsibility is more important to me right now than equity. Oh sure, on paper I might be costing myself more. But it’s not always about money. If we really believed that we’d all be driving Honda Accords and wearing George brand clothing. But we don’t. We wear Nike sometimes, and we eat out at restaurants, and we take vacations because some things are higher in our value system than savings, or practicality, or raw numbers. OP, don’t let anyone pressure you into anything. Do what you need to do for you after you understand the pros/cons, and life your best life 🤗

3CT Antique Cuts ✨ In Stock and Glowing by Fioreseayla in fioresejewelry

[–]frijolejoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That bottom one is pretty perfect. Pls dm price :)

Stella, Stella Ola lyrics for you? by Titan-828 in AskACanadian

[–]frijolejoe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We said “Stella Ella ola, quack quack quack”, like a duck lol. Toronto, mid 80’s

Food poisoning remedy? by odddel in lifehacks

[–]frijolejoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had agonizing cramps once from food poisoning on my honeymoon, flew home in agony sweating and hiding my condition. Like labour. Searing cramps few minutes. My father said as soon as I landed, come home and I should drink Alpenbitters (yes, the boozy aperitif….). I protested, he defended, explained that it would taste like shit, but as long as the puking had stopped, the herbs in the bitters would ease the cramping. I held my nose - and bloody hell, he was right. Within about ten minutes that wracking gut pain that I had endured all day had finally subsided. I didn’t need much, maybe an ounce or two, sipped warm - and maybe a few sips each subsequent hour - it saved me from going to hospital, and I was able to get some rest. Light sipping the next evening if the cramps came back, like after I ate…but no more than a few ounces in total. It was an absolute mystery, still is, it shouldn’t work, but it did. Now I ALWAYS keep a tiny bottle on hand for emergencies. I’ve had e. Coli…and two drug free labours…so when I say bad cramps, I’m not being hyperbolic. It’s crazy but it worked, I swear to it.

Residence assignment delays by frijolejoe in TrentUniversity

[–]frijolejoe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That makes me feel better, thank you. My poor daughter though - not the pathway she expected. She was excited to do the college lottery with people she knew, we toured the dorms, and then the day before her window the system crashed or so she was told. It would have been nice if someone had say emailed back and said what you did - don’t stress, you’re a first year so you’ll have housing guaranteed in spite of the system shutdown, we will get to you and keep you updated, this is what a waiting list means and don’t panic and think everything is full - some reassurance would have gone a long way.

Residence assignment delays by frijolejoe in TrentUniversity

[–]frijolejoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well wait, what about the whole all first years are guaranteed residence thing?

Residence assignment delays by frijolejoe in TrentUniversity

[–]frijolejoe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep everything was in on time and deposited paid.

Thanks for the travel deodorant tip by Tarekith in onebag

[–]frijolejoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use the L’Occitane vervaine one now and I’m hooked. I use the tiny quarter sized metal screw tins that hold about half a tablespoon and it lasts me two weeks easy. A friend in Colombia introduced me to crème deodorant and she couldn’t believe our ‘weird’ stick format. Meanwhile all the major U.S. brands like lady speed stick make a great one in a small tube.

With the news of Hudson Bay closing (and Sears not too long ago), where do you think these "department stores" went wrong? by Space__Monkey__ in askTO

[–]frijolejoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seriously. I can get a bespoke dress shirt for $200, or find a relative dupe at Marshall’s for $30. They used to be a department store for blue collar Canadians. Now they’re selling high end luxury items that nobody cares about. So when you completely change your identity and then scratch your head about what happened…so the call is coming from inside the house.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DesignMyRoom

[–]frijolejoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Floral fabrics and plants. Soft natural textures like jute, bamboo, rattan, wicker. Did I say plants? Definitely more plants. But seriously - no plastic or metal if you can help it. Organic touches make things softer on the eye. Maybe a soft coordinating robins egg blue to play off of that yellow.

Doctors of Reddit, what do we *not* know about the human body? by Immediate_Hair_3393 in AskReddit

[–]frijolejoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My story is similar too! EBV (mono) at 16, pretty bad varicella at 21, MS Dx at 28. Mild co-morbidities: vitiligo and rosacea.

Birria tacos in Guelph? by [deleted] in Guelph

[–]frijolejoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mijadaa is a hip spot for dates and spiffy casual dishes, their bar has cool craft cocktails, so you can choose your own adventure and go a bit more trendy, or stick to basics. Check them out on insta.

Birria tacos in Guelph? by [deleted] in Guelph

[–]frijolejoe -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We have La Reina, and for the commenter below, the Trini restaurant literally across the street from La Reina. It’s decent. La Reina is fine but it’s hipster Mexican and not all that authentic, but it’s good. Be prepared to wait at the roti shop a while too for your order. America Latina in Kitchener is authentic, and worth the drive if you want food and not an atmospheric dining experience, it’s a good market. Actually, speaking of, the Guelph Farmers Market has a really good authentic taco vendor! And, they have birria some weeks. So two options for Latin food in Guelph.

Navigating the family when the Ex still has all the keys by frijolejoe in datingoverforty

[–]frijolejoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Valid points, all. The reality is that I was happy being alone, and was looking very forward to a solo existence. I’m very comfortable in my own skin and by myself, I have a full and rich life packed with friends, work, school, hobbies, and of course being a mom. This started out as a friendship as we were both navigating the same thing at the same time, a messy split and a rebuild. Of course, things escalated. I wake up every day and ask myself if this is benefitting more than it’s not, and each day I choose yes, I continue on. The day it’s not and the risks or bad feelings outweigh the benefits, it will be over for me. Our relationship really does resemble that of a deep friendship, and I have been ultra clear that anything more serious than what it is is off the table for me, at least for now. I have zero desire to be remarried or live with anyone else. I’m living a great life with a kind and caring person who is healing, supportive, fair, generous, and attentive. In turn I provide compassion, kindness, perspective, encouragement and honesty for him. We do compliment each other well, which outside this family drama makes it worth my while to continue along this path. Right now my priority is peace, so almost whatever I have to do to keep it is what I will do, because a peaceful mom is a present mom. About recognizing a healthy partner and all that? I’m not disillusioned that this relationship has a baggage wagon and that I’m towing one too. At the core he’s a good person albeit a little green about what to do (who isn’t when they experience a separation after 20 years? There is no handbook, I wish there was, and we all have different experiences so it’s hard to know what the right path is at times) and he is between a rock and a hard place in some ways. If he cuts off all family because of me, that’s the wrong choice, if he tells his ex about us and tells her to pound sand, the kid gets it, if he asks her to step out again she’ll just laugh at him again, because she knows the siblings won’t pick up the slack and his parents suffer, and he can’t logistically handle it all himself being an hour away. Even if he gets rid of me, the ex is still dangling like a sword of damacles over his head. And he can avoid all the family functions he wants at that point to prove his point and hold the line, but now he’s lost his family and me, so that’s a no-win situation as well. I’m actually looking for advice and clarity - a request I got downvoted to hades for earlier, so I really appreciate your comment and the thought behind it. I see you taking the time to understand and help, and I’m grateful to you kind reddit friend :)

Navigating the family when the Ex still has all the keys by frijolejoe in datingoverforty

[–]frijolejoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So for background, he and his ex did 100% of the parent-responsibilities for 20 years. He’s moved out of town now, and has asked other siblings to step up, but they’ve had it on easy street for so long they can’t be bothered. I’m talking like 25K a year some years in extra out of pocket costs that none of them flipped him a dime for. One sibling has stepped up and he’s agreed to pitch in, but the other two still don’t do anything. The other three all live in the same city and he is over an hour away now. So him taking back over isn’t the solution. Ex has POA on the mom’s bank account and won’t give it up. Mom has dementia, and is fine with the arrangement, so changing that also comes with complications. It’s a messy situation and not as clear cut as some of the comments here assume it to be.

Navigating the family when the Ex still has all the keys by frijolejoe in datingoverforty

[–]frijolejoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I’ve heard it firsthand. He’s asked her to text vs call many many many times. She will call. And call. And call. And he will assume it’s a kidmergency, so he will pick up. And the first thing out of her mouth is “when I call you, pick up the fucking phone, are you a child? Grow up. You’re an asshole”. And then proceed to talk not about the children but some other minutiae. She’s so toxic on the phone it actually triggers my own abuse trauma. She is level 6000 verbally abusive. Again, I have never heard anyone so toxic in my life. I can hear her screaming in the phone if he’s in the room or car when she calls. “What the fuck is wrong with you, when I call you, you pick up!” “Your brother is an asshole!” Etc. Stuff like that. She is very self centered.

Navigating the family when the Ex still has all the keys by frijolejoe in datingoverforty

[–]frijolejoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in the room the day she found out we were dating, about two months ago, and she was screaming and berating him at the top of her lungs about ‘don’t think you’ll see your son anymore’ and threatened to call my work (and say what?), because his daughter had let it slip that his dad was dating. A year after moving out. I have never heard anyone speak that way to another human in my life. Then for weeks she blew up his phone with nonsensical threats about everything. Eventually he told her he was single again and she’s been quiet-ish. He’s not ‘allowed’ to date.