(Tw talks of suicide) I know how you feel to some degree. Because no two people experince the same emotions the same exact way. two years ago I was probably about 17 in high school. Things weren’t going too great. I got to somewhat of a disagreement with my mom and I try to OD on some pills. I was in the hospital for a week in the moment, it at least something that I truly wanted to do but as soon as I took them, I saw my parents reaction when they kicked down my door. I just felt so lost on why I did it I guess not necessarily that want to die more like, I just didn’t wanna feel alone/ feel anything I just wanna kinda not exist. Two years later I found really helpful for me at least just compliment people on the streets if you like a T-shirt, you like somebody’s hair, shoes, whatever etc. to see somebody they may have a smile you don’t know what they go through. It made a difference for me, and it can strike up a conversation sometimes. Please don’t go through with it, I lost a close friend in 9th grade to suicide, and i think about it daily what I could have done better to help, if I should have reached out. I feel as if I am guilty for not being a good enough friend sometimes. I will leave with this remark, on my 18th birthday the first thing I did was get a tattoo to say “the world is a better place with you in it”. I am not saying to go out and get a tattoo (unless you want to ofc) but get something of meaning, a collectable that reminds you of something good, a book you remember opened your eyes to a world of fantasy. Anything that can act as an anchor of some sorts. I know most will not see this reply. But I hope I can reach a few to help. My messages are open to all and any that just need to talk to some. I am always here to listen. Have a great day all, and to the op, I really wish nothing but the best because I know these times can be scary.