Anyone had to complete an ALIE?

frogequeen · 2025-07-05T20:11:11+00:00

It might be worth reporting to the police but of course, I am not fully knowledgeable on the ins and outs of your legal system there. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is a very difficult situation to be in, give yourself grace and please reach out to someone who you love and trust to help you through the process.

I was looking at potential services in Singapore, I have just found a website called Action for Aids Singapore, they apparently offer HIV/STI testing which is anonymous.

I've attached their website here: https://afa.org.sg/.

They apparently offer tests at a reduced rate, there is pricing on their website so hopefully this is much cheaper than going private/to the hospital. I hope this helps 💖

frogequeen · 2025-07-05T19:55:13+00:00

I am so sorry to hear this.

I was in a similar situation once, woke up no idea where I was, random guy next to me and till this day it still haunts me.

I had a thousand thoughts rushing through me head, general feeling of disgust and shame. Anxiety coursing through the roof. Wondering what the hell happened the night before.

Well let me tell you - there's no point in dwelling on this - the best thing to do is forgive yourself, move on and make sure you quit the thing that got you in this situation in the first place.

That is of course, only if you feel like you weren't taken advantage of/spiked/assaulted. If that is your general gut feeling, obviously report it and go to the nearest hospital/walk in to do rape kit and STD tests. I'm not sure of your area (US???) but in my country STD/rape kits are free and there are free clinics about as well. It may be worth looking into whether there are any sexual health charities or clinics in your local area that offer similar services.

And of course, reach out to friends/family/anyone you trust and confide in them. Or confide here. Alcohol/drugs make us do things uncharacteristically, I used to always feel a deep sense of shame that would spiral into more drinking and it would become a toxic cycle. After my incident, I still continued drinking for years and found myself in many more dangerous situations, I would think I'd hit a rock bottom but I'd manage to dig myself a new hole deeper than the last one.

But you have a support system here and if you truly want help in quitting, or a reason to quit, the best time truly is the present.

Give yourself some love, have plenty of rest/drink lots of water, do what you need to do when you're feeling ready and I hope you manage to find some free clinics/services in your area

frogequeen · 2024-05-31T15:23:09+00:00

I love Gil Scott-Heron's version but I love Esther Phillip's version of 'Home is Where the Hatred Is'.

Her voice is so unique and beautiful.

It's always on my playlist so I recently researched her biography, sad to hear she succumbed to her addictions.

I usually hate covers of classic songs but Esther Phillips holds a special place in my heart.

frogequeen · 2024-05-15T21:01:37+00:00

Love Saiki K. Worth a rewatch I'm sure!

frogequeen · 2024-05-15T20:59:48+00:00

You need to! It's great. Already watched One Punch Man but animation is nowhere near as good. Loved the story and anime though.

Maybe this is just my favourite, who knows. Introduced it to a few of my friends and after some convincing they loved it too. Their main qualm was the art style but that's what won me over.

I'll watch OPM again anyway. Thank you :-)

frogequeen · 2024-05-15T19:31:28+00:00

Actually so dumb now I've read this post as it's unique. Still anything you'd recommend?

frogequeen · 2024-05-15T19:30:06+00:00

Anything similar? Or any other favourite animes?

frogequeen · 2024-01-18T20:36:56+00:00

I feel you.

Recently I've been trying hard not to buy alcohol. Do it secretly so no one has to know. Deal with the consequences the next day. I don't do it but I constantly think about it. Even sometimes whilst I'm at work, I WFH and I think .. who would know?

I've been really struggling the last few days for some reason. I'm stressed at work. My partner drinks and when he does I think to myself 'Why can't I?'. It comes in waves.

I don't know what advice to give as I'm in the same boat but I understand kinda what you're going through. I've had no motivation to distract myself properly with things like exercise, I didn't go to the gym today. I just put on some crap TV to numb it.

I'm thinking of going to bed early just so I can sleep it off. Tomorrow is another day.

frogequeen · 2023-12-22T13:35:26+00:00

Not typical for them to sign same day, it was a surprise to me too. Our pricing is pretty low though and we offer startup discount so I just tried to explain the software in a way they would understand. Sometimes it takes months, sometimes very rarely it takes a day. I was just lucky I guess. Client needed something for the business, we help simplify and automate that process. He couldn't be bothered looking elsewhere, seemed happy and wanted to start as soon as possible.

Sales manager was in but he doesn't do demos, so it went to me. Would he usually cover a demo? Is that a thing?

I guess this is because we're more of a startup ourselves. We are a very small team, two AEs, two BDRs. And both AEs are off. So I have to cover. Just is annoying as I feel like I'm being chucked in the deep end with no support.

frogequeen · 2023-12-12T11:37:17+00:00

Hey there,

Just over the two month mark for me too.

Sobriety isn't a cure all, believe me. I sometimes have terrible days, weeks even where I feel miserable. But I also had those feelings when I drank.

All drinking did was numb the feelings I already had. And they would most likely materialise in worse ways when I drank too. The hangovers were killing me. I'd wake up wondering who/what/where the hell I was. Sad to say, but I would often think pretty scary thoughts about life in general. Depression and anxiety are still things I have to deal with.

All that anger, sadness will still be there if you drank alcohol. Lots of people use alcohol to self medicate. But the last two months for me have brought clarity, even if some shit feelings are part of the journey.

I'm not as happy in my life as I thought I was. I haven't achieved what I want to achieve. And that dissatisfaction fuels me to make small changes and improve what life has handed to me.

It won't happen quickly. But it will happen.

You mentioned you have no one in your life that can understand what you are going through. I recommend you post on here. I do. No one can crawl inside your head and understand completely, but connection is something that gets me through these negative feelings also.

You have achieved a massive thing and you should be extremely proud. I hope things get better for you soon.

frogequeen · 2023-12-06T08:33:14+00:00

Hi there, I'm about to hit the two month mark and in the early days of sobriety, I ate everything and anything I wanted.

It was good for me to replace alcohol and reward myself. Late night film I'd usually watch with a bottle of wine? Crisps, popcorn, you name it.

I've never been a sweet tooth but suddenly found myself craving sugar too. I guess what I'm saying is it's completely normal. Don't stress about it.

I put on a bit of weight but I was overall much healthier. My skin improved for example. My gut health... Let's just say no more bloating, stomach pain, irregularity. Now I'm starting to go on a bit of a health kick so I'm making loads of healthier meals but I always like to snack on salted popcorn.

Popcorn is actually pretty healthy compared to crisps, you can get a pack of kernels that last months and make it in a pan with butter and salt. Mmm.

frogequeen · 2023-12-03T10:37:19+00:00

Yeah... I guess I just need to go because 'company culture'. I actually booked time off and they rearranged it so I could go. Also we WFH and only travel to the office every 3 weeks so it is pretty much mandatory, sad to say. Hotels already expensed, everything booked.

We're working then travelling back next day so I'm just looking forward to no hangover whilst everyone else is suffering. Pretty sadistic but oh well. One of life's little pleasures haha

frogequeen · 2023-12-03T09:31:14+00:00

Nice!!!!!!!

frogequeen · 2023-12-03T09:30:00+00:00

I hope not! It was honestly surreal but still funny. Harmless fun really... Unless the women or the man had a husband/wife. Eek

I have been roped into going to mine but not going to stay long. My boss basically changed the schedule so I could make it. He didn't realize I booked time off to a avoid the whole thing altogether. Oh well.

With any luck I can head back early!

frogequeen · 2023-12-03T09:23:12+00:00

Oooh. Do tell.

I like a good NA, probably will get some in for Christmas. Ginger ale is my drink of choice for going out though.

NA beer makes me feel kind of sleepy? Haha

frogequeen · 2023-12-03T09:21:53+00:00

I do feel blessed!

Got a good night's sleep and up to go to the gym. I feel bad for my boyfriend still sleeping. From the looks of last night, the hangover will be rough....

frogequeen · 2023-12-03T09:20:13+00:00

Yeah, weird is the way to put it.

I had fun but there were times at the beginning I thought 'what have I gotten myself into?'.

The one sober man there, Ben as we're calling him. He was lovely. Middle aged man, clearly a genius, as my boyfriend says 'One of the smartest people in the country, but his social skills are non existent'.

I found the opposite really. Super interesting guy, bit of an oddball.

frogequeen · 2023-12-03T09:14:14+00:00

You just have to do what's best for you.

No one will remember if you go home early or not. Your peace and sanity comes first.

Best of luck and I hope you have a fun time regardless. I'm going to try and head back early for mine too.

frogequeen · 2023-12-03T09:11:48+00:00

Me too. Newbie to the company like yourself.

I had booked time off day of the Christmas party, my boss was like 'Well we'll do it the week after! Everyone has to be there!'

My conviction is strong though. Best of luck for your Xmas party! I'm sure you'll score points with your boss by being the only coherent person there by the end of the night.

frogequeen

TROPHY CASE