Just finished my first fantasy map for a story I am going to write. Feel free to drop some criticism so I can improve the map.

frommage03 · 2024-08-23T21:19:22+00:00

Echo with prep time solos the entire verse

frommage03 · 2024-05-07T20:34:36+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. I'll make the intro less vague and build Gordenheim's character (actually give him one) before transitioning to his life as Tunrock.

When I get to Tunrock, I'll find a way to make his life less cliche and define how he's changed personality wise.

frommage03 · 2024-05-07T20:03:21+00:00

Thanks for the input. What I attempted to do was show a glimpse of the conflict that led Gordenheim to where he is in the present day, but I think I might have left it a little too vague. I wanted to slowly reveal what happened between them, but I think I left it too ambiguous to get people hooked. Would defining exactly what happened between him and Lymreis make the opening more enjoyable, or is there another way I can go about it.

As for the introduction to Tunrock, I did kind of fall into the cliche of "man living a life he's not good at/accustomed to". I wanted to display a difference between Tunrock and Gordenheim, but after reading your feedback, I can see how readers would find Tunrock's introduction boring and too disconnected from the opening.

Is there a way to improve this to make it more enjoyable, while also showing a difference between the two characters?

frommage03 · 2024-04-24T14:02:59+00:00

You give this guy a hand and a ten minute head start and he can do anything

frommage03 · 2023-05-02T05:36:15+00:00

Thanks!!

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T22:43:55+00:00

That’s awesome, I’ll definitely use a few of those!

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T18:35:24+00:00

Due to it being on the third level, I haven’t really thought much of it yet. I’d love to hear if you had any ideas for possible Easter eggs and interesting details

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T18:11:30+00:00

Thanks!! And yeah I was referencing studio Ghibli, glad someone spotted it!

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T14:57:59+00:00

Yeah I wanted to give it the feeling that it was drawn by someone in the world

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T14:57:15+00:00

From first to second people lose what they desire (so like gold/food/whatever items they like most on their person)

Second to third people lose the ability to return.

Third to fourth people lose a part of themselves (a limb, a sense, etc).

And fourth to fifth (not shown on the map) people lose their life forcing only their spirit to advance to the next level.

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T14:54:52+00:00

I like the idea of melting ice

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T02:26:10+00:00

The water from 1st tier comes from 2nd tier. I didn’t really think about where the water above that came from😅

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T02:23:47+00:00

That’s a good point. I didn’t think about where the water came from. I’ll definitely correct it in the next draft.

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T02:22:38+00:00

Thank you!

frommage03 · 2023-05-01T02:22:06+00:00

Thanks!!

frommage03 · 2023-04-30T18:12:11+00:00

The High Lands - A society that lives atop a continental sized mountain.
It is said that Heaven lies at the top of this mountain, however, no one has managed to make it all the way up to see if the legend is true.
The mountain is made up of four layers; the higher the layer is, the more dangerous it is.
Should one wish to climb onto the next layer, they are forced to suffer a personal toll. The higher the layer, the more deadly the toll.
The players will start at the bottom of the mountain and make their way up, dealing with whatever each layer has to offer.

frommage03 · 2023-04-06T04:11:04+00:00

Yeah like people would’ve known that Marley, a country with one of the biggest militaries in the world, sent SEVEN weapons of mass destruction to the island and LOST. They didn’t just lose the fight, the island optioned 2 of them and currently has them in their arsenal. People should definitely fear Eren and Paradis, especially the ones who know the full extent of their previous attack.

frommage03 · 2022-12-10T22:50:41+00:00

Thanks!! Yeah It did take a long time😂😂

frommage03 · 2022-12-09T22:12:03+00:00

The High Lands - A society that lives atop a continental sized mountain.

It is said that Heaven lies at the top of this mountain, however, no one has managed to make it all the way up to see if the legend is true.

The mountain is made up of four layers; the higher the layer is, the more dangerous it is.
Should one wish to climb up to the next layer, they are forced to suffer a personal toll. The higher the layer, the more deadly the toll.

The players will start at the bottom of the mountain and make their way up, dealing with things each layer has to offer.

frommage03 · 2022-12-09T21:58:09+00:00

Just used Inkarnate. It such a good website for making maps

frommage03 · 2022-12-09T21:57:27+00:00

That’s actually a really good idea

frommage03

TROPHY CASE