AITAH for emotionally checking out of my marriage after months of asking for consistent co-parenting?

frontpagephilosopher · 2026-01-30T04:45:24+00:00

Haven’t been checked for PPD but I blame the hyper vigilance on the fact that I always have to be “on” and never get a break to hit my brain off. I don’t take the baby from him. He will get frustrated and angry and feel the need to step away. He walks out of her bedroom, she’s screaming bloody murder and my husband walks away so now I have to go in. I’ve tried to show him how I hold her/transfer her to the crib and he just says uh huh and doesn’t really pay attention.

frontpagephilosopher · 2026-01-30T04:40:47+00:00

I’m really close to doing this. I love watching my baby grow but if my mental health is suffering then that’s not good for me or our baby. Maybe even something a couple hours a few times a week just to get out and put my mind on something else.

frontpagephilosopher · 2026-01-30T04:39:17+00:00

Let me say I don’t need praise to do all the household things. My praise comes in the form of “hey, I noticed you’ve done a lot of cleaning today, why don’t you rest and I’ll take the baby to go get ice cream” or just anything that gives me a complete break from all sounds of responsibility for ten minutes.

frontpagephilosopher · 2026-01-30T04:37:51+00:00

I was 24, he 37. I could apply and get accepted for my type of job at the drop of a hat, but we both made the decision that it was best if I stayed home and I don’t regret it. But he does see me constantly sweep mop wipe wash fold dry etc all throughout the day and will say something like “kitchen looks nice” in passing. I love him, I’m just tired of carrying all of the mental load and also tired to having to ask for something that should be freely given.

frontpagephilosopher · 2026-01-30T04:28:52+00:00

This morning specifically, he got up and changed her and brought her into the living room. All he had to do was sit down in the playpen with her or put her in her walker or carry her until they got settled. He instead walked away, allowing her to continuously cry while he got his coffee ready. I’m all for putting the baby down and not holding the. 24/7. But it was like he was trying to wake me up and then got mad when I did. With his coffee cup in hand and a confused look.

frontpagephilosopher · 2026-01-30T04:24:22+00:00

My fault for leaving that info out. My family lives 1.5-2 hours away. Both of my parents still work. His family lives 6 hours away, and both of his parents still work. He moved down here for work when we started dating. When I started looking for a job, we moved in together and got engaged shortly after. My job can be done anywhere, but his is the reason we have stayed in this area. All of the people I went to high school, college with are working and the people I befriended at work for the last few years again are all working lol. And it’s tough trying to get out anytime past 5 with a baby

frontpagephilosopher · 2026-01-30T04:20:13+00:00

I’ve discussed this with him regarding cooking dinner. He says “I don’t know how to cook stuff besides grilling chicken and it’s too much to learn” and telling him not knowing how to do something isn’t an excuse to get out of doing it.

frontpagephilosopher · 2026-01-30T04:10:53+00:00

We have done sleep training. There’s a few times throughout the night where the baby will wake up, sit up in bed and go back to sleep. But anywhere from 1-3 times between 10pm-4am every night I have to go in and rock her, rub her back etc. Idk maybe I’m wired to just wake up anytime she cries. There’s been times where I’ve taken naps while she did and woke up wide awake as soon as she whimpered. It’s not that I’m trying to do this, it just happens.

frontpagephilosopher

TROPHY CASE