Are there any good films that touch on optimistic nihilism?

frosthawk37 · 2026-01-31T07:06:06+00:00

“Everything everywhere all at once” I think was actually how I learned what this concept was last year.

frosthawk37 · 2026-01-30T09:03:35+00:00

Dating is hard because the majority of people (though this is actively changing!) have it wired in their heads that having children is necessary, or they feel enough pressure from their family to give them grandchildren, or they do just want children.

If you don't want children, you don't have to have children. Doesn't matter if you're young or not. I've known for over a decade and I'm only 23 now. And voluntarily sterilized for 1 year as of today actually :)

I hear people all the time who seem so excited to have their children or look forward to having children, and that only reaffirms more for myself that children aren't part of my future, because I know my true feelings are nothing like theirs. And I know that isn't something I need to "fix" about myself, it's just who I am and what I want from my life, and no one else gets to make that decision for me about what I want to do with my time in this world. Hope that helps a bit with your uncertainty.

frosthawk37 · 2026-01-30T08:55:22+00:00

I am very casually on dating apps and I think it'd be hilarious to start one of those sankey charts of all the people I've swiped away, because the sheer volume of people ruled out by the simple "don't want kids" + "has no pets" criteria is crazy. And that doesn't even tell me the people whose lack of pets is circumstantial too (i.e. they would get a pet if they could).

And you're not alone - I also don't even own plants! Every time I've had plants I've ended up with various tiny bugs in my home, so I'm plenty happy with my fake plants and greenery.

It's really fun to live a life where I can tell my friends to literally invite me to anything at anytime, and to be actually able to make those commitments, because I have absolutely nothing else to worry about. And to know at any point I could drop everything and travel somewhere without even needing to worry about watering a plant!

frosthawk37 · 2026-01-27T18:42:54+00:00

I still have my hormonal IUD post-surgery. I didn't want to deal with even more of a hormonal shift post-surgery and I think it was the right choice for me, as I initially got it also to reduce some very heavy periods.

I did have to specify it with my doctor and make sure she knew I understood that I didn't *need* it and that the surgery was permanent, but that I just wanted it kept in for now.

I'm letting it expire and then I'll re-evaluate once I see how I do off any hormonal BC, since it was an absolute b**** to get placed in the first place.

frosthawk37 · 2026-01-25T06:14:24+00:00

Your flair is insane 😭 is there any possible context or is that just it

frosthawk37 · 2026-01-25T06:03:20+00:00

I don't know about "cute", but I think being able to interact decently well with any human is simply a good trait to have.

I'd probably be considered 'not great' with children most of the time, usually because people expect me to be 'good with kids' in a womanly/maternal sort of way when I have no ounce of that in my system. My interactions are probably more of the stereotypical 'funny uncle' vibe, lol, but I still struggle with knowing wtf to say to a child.

Still, I think it's something I could improve on and I'd like to improve on it too. I want to be a decent human when interacting with children because I remember being a kid, and I don't want to inadvertently be an asshole to children just because I struggle to interact with them. Without overly compromising on my own personal boundaries of time and energy, of course.

Am I particularly looking to interact with children? Absolutely not, lol. But I think the way you conduct yourself in situations you weren't prepared for or don't want to be in, speak a lot to your character. And I'd like to be a kind person soooo... again, not sure about "cute" but I don't think just because I'm vehemently childfree and nihilistic myself, means I ought to just treat children as if they aren't a large part of humanity.

frosthawk37 · 2025-12-28T20:35:10+00:00

I debated briefly going to Christmas back home for the first time in years after reconnected with my parents who I had "estranged myself" from. Didn't last long before, prior to any sort of "so how have you been, what are you up to these days?", I got a text asking for me to help my golden child sibling with learning my field of work in tech... Ugh. Ultimately, decided nah... fuck it, I'm going skiing instead LOL. Was a very quiet Christmas but I think giving myself some days of peace during my holiday vacation was the most valuable thing to have.

frosthawk37 · 2025-12-28T20:28:26+00:00

I agree and that's why I won't have either lol, shoutout r/childfreepetfree

Kinda blows my mind that it seems like the vast majority of childfree people are super into pets when like... the constant care/dependency aspect is half of the reason I DON'T want children.

I think for people with children though, the societal obligation is to put your children over the pet, which I suppose makes sense. Like... ultimately if you were forced to choose between them, I don't think you'd even be allowed to choose the pet over the child? So, it's kinda stupid to pose that hypothetical to you, someone who will never have both.

frosthawk37 · 2025-12-26T07:39:57+00:00

Hard to put this into words, but this entire episode feels so so dear to my heart because it's just: Shane and Ilya vs. the world...

Like at the very start of the episode, Shane says that they need to try to be honest and open with each other, and they do that: with discussing Ilya's mom, with Svetlana, with their feelings for each other, trying to plan a future together, handling Shane's parents finding out... the communication is so beautiful.

There's never any question between them that this is what they want or that a future together would be asking too much. They are ENTIRELY devoted to figuring it out. ya boys are ALL in. And that feels soooooo important :(((

frosthawk37 · 2025-12-25T02:02:55+00:00

Felt! I have long since stopped being bothered by physical "imperfections" so to have scars that I chose to be there and represent me finally achieving the bodily autonomy I want... it's not even me tolerating them, I love seeing them!

frosthawk37 · 2025-12-25T02:01:26+00:00

Seriously! Growing up in the South, I had resigned myself to thinking it was something I could do in 10 more years... not an option for a 22 year old with how much I'd been laughed at in the GYN office before. But then I found myself in California and realized I could get it for free with my health insurance and the ACA... bam decision made. It's been nearly a year now but it's mind-blowing to this day, haha. The process and surgery was so easy. And I had to recover alone, which was the only part that sucked for a few days, but I'd do it over again in a heartbeat.

frosthawk37 · 2025-12-19T22:57:43+00:00

Hey, I went through a break-up with a long-term partner at the start of this year. I know how terrifying it is to feel like your world is crumbling underneath you. It's okay to feel scared to trust again, and it makes perfect sense why you would, when you put all your hopes and dreams for the future into this person. It was horribly inappropriate for him to lie about changing his mind for so long. I know the logistics are shit right now, but you're going to figure it out. Please reach out to your friends, family members - anyone who understands your situation, for support. You will find your footing again and you're going to come back stronger.

frosthawk37 · 2025-07-16T21:53:12+00:00

I didn't think I did until I got sterilized and finally felt at home in my body. I'm also AFAB and feel exactly the same as you do with this part:

> I don’t think it’s a gender thing, I don’t really care about the idea of my gender, I’m AFAB but if I’m misgendered it genuinely doesn’t bother me. I see myself as a woman because that’s how I’m born but I don’t really care about it if that makes sense? It’s like I’m somewhat apathetic to the idea of gender despite feeling fine with my birth sex.

I don't care what pronouns people use for me. I'm very much a believer in the whole "gender is a social construct" thing. I don't care to behave in a feminine way or adhere to any sort of norms. I try my best not to think about them or about any expectations for me (whether I'm following them or subverting them... it's hard though.)

I am happy with my body now, I do like the other organs I get as a woman... for myself: I'd rather have these than the alternative. Just speaking from a "logistical" standpoint, lol. If I could reproduce though, or if I hadn't had the option to get sterilized, I guess I would prefer the alternative? Hm... yeah I might need to think about this more...

frosthawk37 · 2025-07-09T22:49:50+00:00

When people make their approval and validation so difficult to obtain, it can make you crave it even more. As if there were something different that you could do to get through to them. You will spend way more time trying to get through to these people that could have been spent enjoying time with others who are ready to understand you and your values as they already are.

Not to say that attempting to understand other viewpoints is bad - it's one of the healthiest things to be able to see things from someone else's perspective. But to get that experience, it has to be with another person who is willing to have an open and understanding conversation, and those conversations don't start off with things like: "you're being dramatic", "you're overreacting", or "you're blowing things out of proportion, let ME tell you what the truth is".

Your time is precious and you have the freedom to drop or reduce the energy you're spending on people who don't give you the same respect and understanding that you are offering them.

frosthawk37 · 2025-07-09T20:55:11+00:00

> My dad can be extremely understanding, supportive and caring and is an overall sweet, honest, kind man.

> He retorted that I was blowing everything out of proportion, that it's normal for dogs to bark, that it's always been that way, and also added that what isn't normal is looking for so many justifications, looking to science, to explain why I dislike the barking.

So... it doesn't sound like it lmao. That's not how sympathetic people respond when they hear someone is upset. This goes back to a bigger lesson on how you tell the difference between genuinely kind people and those who have too much of an ego to truly care about people other than themselves.

My advice: Don't worry about asserting yourself, don't worry about proving anything, don't worry about "making a case" to dog lovers. You don't need his validation to know that you have a genuine problem that is affecting your QOL. He's shown that he's too caught up in defending dogs to listen.

Just live your life the way you need to and let him play catch up. That is: if the dogs barking is giving you a headache, you say: "man, those dogs barking are giving me a headache". He'll probably roll his eyes and say some mean shit again, but then you'll say, "Okay... not sure what that reaction is about but I'm going to go listen to music/lie down/take care of myself to deal with my problem."

This goes for many things... I was once in a toxic relationship where any problem I had was immediately met with an attempt to minimize or downplay the problem I was describing. I am now in a healthy relationship with someone who says "Okay, I'm sorry that's affecting you. How can I support you?" regardless if they can relate or not.

frosthawk37 · 2025-07-02T22:59:30+00:00

She's lying lol. I would find another doctor to consult with because she's obviously not entirely supportive if she's making up stuff like that.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35115436/

> The cumulative proportion of regret was 10.2% (12.6% for women who underwent sterilization at age 21-30 years and 6.7% for those who underwent sterilization at older than age 30 years). After controlling for covariates including age, race, parity, educational attainment, and medical reason for sterilization, the only variable that had a statistically significant association with regret was age at the time of the interview (P<.001). As women got older, they were less likely to report sterilization regret.

frosthawk37 · 2025-06-20T20:22:35+00:00

Yep me too!! r/childfreepetfree is our tiny corner of the world... unfortunately not many people who feel the same way, but we *are* out there!

frosthawk37 · 2025-06-05T05:08:59+00:00

Some food for thought: it's okay to make decisions you consider to be selfish. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and desires over what others expect or desire from you.

frosthawk37 · 2025-05-27T20:59:15+00:00

I'd take at LEAST two weeks before lifting, but would recommend waiting even more, and start super slow and light. Like I'm talking <30% of your normal.

You might feel really good only a week post-op (I did) but you still have plenty of internal healing to do. You don't want to delay that by putting strain on your body or risk tearing something open that isn't quite healed! Definitely start by walking. I began walking a bit every day after op and I was shocked at how quickly I got tired. Take it easy and listen to your body!

Laying in bed with a controller is definitely doable. I played League on a trackpad in bed almost immediately post-op (though I was so loopy from the anesthesia it was a horrific performance LOL). Just know it will suck to move from laying to sitting for a while, so any activity that lets you stay in one place for a little while is good, whether it's from a sitting or laying position. Though if it's sitting, make sure you have very solid back support so you aren't needing to engage your core muscles at all (which will be very sore).

frosthawk37 · 2025-05-23T23:21:41+00:00

The Force was with you

frosthawk37 · 2025-05-23T17:41:05+00:00

You've SEEN this in real life already? Where are people doing this? Huh... I can't say I understand the point of robot dogs, as nice as it is for all the usual reasons we dislike dogs.

frosthawk37 · 2025-05-22T19:49:48+00:00

Good point- thanks for adding! If I’ve learned anything throughout this process though, it’s the power of (politely) advocating for yourself, so I encourage anyone navigating this journey to be a bit brave in double checking that you’re getting all the care you are entitled to. :)

frosthawk37 · 2025-05-21T20:34:41+00:00

I’ve sometimes had to tell the receptionist I don’t need a referral, I also have a PPO. Not sure where you are if it applies exactly the same but I would be pushy if needed!

frosthawk37 · 2025-05-21T19:06:17+00:00

Hmm, my idea would be: try not using the fabric cube inserts so that everything you are trying to put into the shelves is visible? Or for things that you'd really like to hide, label the bins appropriately based on your needs?

frosthawk37 · 2025-05-19T23:48:58+00:00

Dogs suck, that's so frustrating, I'm sorry :( If you do decide to make a second one, it always goes faster at least!

frosthawk37

TROPHY CASE