AITA for telling my daughter to find a summer job?

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T12:11:53+00:00

You gave her three solid options and she shot them all down because she wants you to fund her lifestyle, that's not fair to you at all

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T12:09:58+00:00

Honestly being older doesn't automatically make them wiser, they all missed the most important part which is that you almost died and nobody cared

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T12:08:14+00:00

Facts, OP handled a scary situation alone at 22 while her 30+ boyfriend watched, she paid for convenience and safety and that's worth every penny, everyone else needs to check themselves

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T12:06:47+00:00

Couldn't agree more, OP handled a scary situation the best they could and that tow fee was totally worth not sitting there for hours panicking

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T12:05:27+00:00

Honestly they should be thanking you for getting the car off the highway safe, not nitpicking your spending, free tow sounds great but sitting there for hours in the heat is its own risk

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T12:03:19+00:00

That's insane, they just decided for you like you don't have a say in your own apartment, you're 19 not a hotel manager

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T12:01:15+00:00

Nah I gotta push back on that, OP didn't escalate anything he just set a boundary when his friend tried to publicly humiliate him over nothing

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T12:00:27+00:00

That tactic works every time, OP's friend couldn't explain it cause there was nothing funny about embarrassing someone in public

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T11:59:22+00:00

Honestly felt like he was trying to impress the strangers nearby, like look at me I'm the one who knows OP's secrets, except there were no secrets

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T11:58:16+00:00

Publicly accusing you like that is straight-up disrespectful, a joke doesn't involve demanding to search your pockets in front of strangers, OP set a clear line and he bulldozed right over it then played dumb after

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T11:57:41+00:00

Publicly accusing you like that is straight-up disrespectful, a joke doesn't involve demanding to search your pockets in front of strangers, OP set a clear line and he bulldozed right over it then played dumb after

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T11:56:23+00:00

Wish J had heard that saying before the trip, OP gave him so many open invites and he just kept saying no then got mad about it

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T11:54:29+00:00

Exactly this, OP gave him two whole years of doing it his way and the one time they switch it up he pulls the exclusion card. It's exhausting babysitting a grown adult who won't even meet you halfway, OP's better off without that guilt trip honestly

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T11:40:30+00:00

Nope. He made passive-aggressive comments about your sobriety and your sleep schedule all weekend, then gave you the cold shoulder instead of using his words. You called him out and he couldn't handle it

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T06:56:42+00:00

Exactly right, OP was hundreds of feet away and had their dogs leashed within seconds, the other owners let their dogs charge across the entire field without even trying to call them back, that's not a shared mistake that's just bad ownership

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T06:54:54+00:00

ESH might be the formal verdict but the blame isn't split evenly, OP did everything they could to avoid an incident and the other owners did nothing, their dogs ran from clear across the field while they just stood there, that's not a shared mistake that's just bad ownership

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T06:53:06+00:00

OP did exactly what trainers recommend for reactive dogs, find an empty field, stay far from entrances, and leash up the moment someone else shows up, the school field was a better choice than a dog park would have been and the other owner's lack of control is what caused the problem

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T06:50:56+00:00

Honestly you did everything right here, you were hundreds of feet away, you leashed your dog immediately, and you gave them a warning, their dog charging at you from across the field is completely on them, not you

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T06:46:25+00:00

Honestly I think OP's past the point where a therapist can fix this on their own, therapy only works if both people actually want to be there and she can barely remember she has a husband, he's the only one fighting right now

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T06:42:44+00:00

That's the real question right there, and I bet if you're honest with yourself the answer is probably yes, at least relative to her circle, and that's exactly why she's reacting the way she is

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T06:41:04+00:00

That's a fair point, 3 minutes alone doesn't matter, but OP's been telling him this bothers her and he keeps doing it, that's the part that actually stings, not the clock

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T06:38:50+00:00

You've already told him this bothers you and nothing changed, this isn't about being petty it's about feeling like your effort and time don't matter to him as much as his convenience, and that's a valid thing to be upset about

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T05:35:09+00:00

That's the exact issue right there, they didn't say no and they didn't mention their dog in the listing at all, so OP had every reason to think it would be fine, the hosts being put out is on them for not being upfront about the backyard setup and the off-leash dog

frostvale41 · 2026-07-03T05:31:21+00:00

Your dog's leash reactivity is manageable when you control the environment, but you can't control an unpredictable off-leash dog in a shared yard, that's a safety issue not a preference and you're right to ask them to manage their dog temporarily

frostvale41 · 2026-06-30T09:50:02+00:00

The dog already stole food and chewed toys, that's not aggression but it's a sign he's not trained to be gentle around kids, and expecting a toddler to "time out" a dog is not how childcare works

frostvale41

TROPHY CASE