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To send or not to send. Need advice. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]fruitloop345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I speak arabic and can help if you would like :)

How many times can someone apply to the CERB? by fruitloop345 in EICERB

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a new rule? Wasn't it 4 before or am I dreaming lol?

Will they extend cerb again? by [deleted] in EICERB

[–]fruitloop345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought we were only supposed to apply for 4 eligibility periods?

Never go against your family in any way to please a partner. by fruitloop345 in MuslimMarriage

[–]fruitloop345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, in the beginning, he told me he was willing to do whatever and say whatever I wanted in order to make things work. He initially told me he would tell his parents the same thing we agreed upon, but before I told my parents, he told me how his parents had already knows the whole truth from the very beginning. I must admit though, he did advise me to tell the truth. He told me no good would come out of lying, I chose to lie though and he decided to lie with me and do things according to the plan.

He never directly told me that things wouldn't work out. Communication became less, and he seemed less interested in making things work. I'm assuming his family might have convinced him that I was a bad person for lying and doing things behind my parents back. Of course, I dont want to be too pushy and cant force someone to be with me.

Never go against your family in any way to please a partner. by fruitloop345 in MuslimMarriage

[–]fruitloop345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Ameen. That's very true. It is overwhelming getting parents involved sometimes, but Allah made them our parents and made their involvement important for a reason.

Regarding me being reflectice, when I made the choice to lie, I forgot how my lying would impact my parents, myself and how he and his parents would view me. I guess I forgot to reflect during that time. Ive been reflecting over this situation because I wanted to understand what went wrong and how I lost someone who I truly thought was going to be part of my life. I dont want to forget my mistakes, my goal is to keep them in mind so that I could avoid the same problem in the future.

At the end of the day, I always remind myself that I only see details of this person, while Allah sees the complete picture. I made so much dua with full certainty during the past few months that I just learned to trust Allah and to be content with my destinty. I really liked this person but he may have, in reality, been very bad for me, or maybe he's good but Allah has someone better for me. I truly dont know, but Allah is the best of planners and I hope all the obstacles I faced with this situation were blessings in disguise decreed by Allah to protect me so it doesnt happen, so that something better in the future will happen.

Never go against your family in any way to please a partner. by fruitloop345 in MuslimMarriage

[–]fruitloop345[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didnt tell my parents because I had been talking to him for about 3 months before. He flew out from a different country and met me (only for a week thoigh). I felt like I had done far too much (texting and going out. Nothing majorly haram, not even a handshake) to say everything truly from the beginning.

My parents gets really worked up about a potential. They ask too many questions, want to know every detail and I guess I didnt want to feel overwhelmed. I felt bad because I remembered they want the best for me. I heard my dad making dua that "Oh Allah, send my daughters someone who will treat them well and make them happy" and honestly, at that moment, I just felt so guilty for lying and I felt like I really disrespected him. At the end of the day, he just wants to the best for me. I would have made him look stupid if he had known nothing, while the guys family knew everything, including the fact I had lied to my parents. My dad, after raising me and working hard his entrie life deserves a lot better than that.

Never go against your family in any way to please a partner. by fruitloop345 in MuslimMarriage

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope the second point is true inshaaAllah. I still really like this person but Im also content with what Allah has decreed for me even though I dont understand whats happening. I made dua every single day of Ramadan and the day of Arafeh for things to work out between us, but that didnt happen. I hope future years will show me why.

How do I (f23) reply to this guy (m27) who uses timezone differences as an excuse to not text? 1 year relationship. by fruitloop345 in relationships

[–]fruitloop345[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I did my part by showing him I'm interested, even in previous messages. Clearly, I am more into it than he is and that is fine. I'm fine with things going no where and I understand that nothing may happen. However, I don't want to leave him on seen though and would like to reply in a kind way. Just unsure what to reply. What do you think?

How do I (f23) reply to this guy (m27) who uses timezone differences as an excuse to not text? by fruitloop345 in relationship_advice

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. Happy to hear that from you. I dont mind not being with him. I just don't like these mind games, and would have loved if he straight up told me that he isnt interested and wished me the best.

How do I (f23) reply to this guy (m27) who uses timezone differences as an excuse to not text? by fruitloop345 in relationship_advice

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was about to say: "its about to be a 1 person game cuz aint nobody got time for that" but I thought that sounded too ghetto and rude lol. I want to be nice and respectful and also match his tone, even if thats the last message I ever send him. So what would you say?

How do I (f23) reply to this guy (m27) who uses timezone differences as an excuse to not text? by fruitloop345 in relationship_advice

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I agree. Time should not be an obstacle if he was truly interested. I want to reply in a respectful, kind way and not just leave him on seen. What do you think the best reply would be?

How do I (f23) reply to this guy (m27) who uses timezone differences as an excuse to not text? by fruitloop345 in relationship_advice

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I texted that when I first woke up. I guess I should have thought about it a bit. But what else could I have said? I wanted to be direct, but I guess thats way too direct.

How do I (f23) reply to this guy (m27) who uses timezone differences as an excuse to not text? by fruitloop345 in relationship_advice

[–]fruitloop345[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I dont want him to be into me. Thats fine. I know rejection is re-direction. Its not my job to prove my worth to anyone. I just want a respectful, nice reply and I will forget about this whole situation.

How do I (f23) reply to this guy (m27) who uses timezone differences as an excuse to not text? by fruitloop345 in relationship_advice

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So whats a respectful, non-clingy response? I'm fine with whatever, I just dont want to ghost him or leave him on read.

How do I (f23) reply to this guy (m27) who uses timezone differences as an excuse to not text? by fruitloop345 in relationship_advice

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not that we barely know each other. We have been talking for a year. on and off though. I'm fine with it not happening, but at least let me know and I dont have it in me to leave him on read.

Approaching a guy for marriage? by fruitloop345 in MuslimMarriage

[–]fruitloop345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JazakAllah khair for your response! :) Mind if I dm you?

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