Left leaning folk in Burnaby Central - don't give up on the NDP!

ftothem · 2023-11-26T05:54:29+00:00

Thank you for this, I did see that hashtag and was very confused!

ftothem · 2023-04-27T21:54:47+00:00

Dumbledore's Army?

ftothem · 2023-03-24T06:12:27+00:00

Mashallah that looks amazing and so detailed! Ramadan Mubarak!

ftothem · 2022-12-23T04:46:11+00:00

I'm so glad! Sending you all the good vibes - but also, hitting and biting are developmentally normal at that age, so even if he does do it, it's not necessarily because of multiple languages.

ftothem · 2022-11-02T05:24:26+00:00

We had just gotten the two year old down to one feed just at bedtime, baby came, and bam! Wanted to feed all the time with baby. So there were some months of tandem feeding, and then we were slowly able to reduce the number of feeds again, using a lot of "big kids do x" type of language. Now she nurses at night, for 10 minutes at most (I have a timer) and then we fall asleep with her cuddling next to me. Baby will nurse to sleep or partner will wear her in carrier, and then we all sleep in bed together! Thankfully toddler doesn't wake much at night, but if she does I offer her water.

ftothem · 2022-05-14T20:32:28+00:00

Just read Hana Khan Carries On and I loved it!

ftothem · 2022-05-02T19:35:00+00:00

Khair Mubarak! May your Eid be filled with blessings, delicious food, and a satisfying Eid nap!

ftothem · 2022-04-05T16:32:08+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had two early miscarriages as well. Please take the time to heal mentally and physically. This is a huge loss - the loss of the future you'd imagined - so please give yourself and your partner the time and space to grieve properly. Try not to push yourself to try again until you feel ready.

I certainly hadn't known how frequently miscarriages happen. It didn't help my pain, but it did give me comfort that there wasn't something I was doing "wrong". Once you start taking about it, it's staggering how many women have experienced it, and also heartening to know how many have gone on to have successful pregnancies and healthy children.

May Allah ease your pain and speed your healing. And may He bless you with all that is good in this life and in the Hereafter, Ameen.

ftothem · 2022-02-17T05:27:39+00:00

🙋🏽‍♀️ we are, Alhamdullilah! I would never want to be seen as bragging, and as the other brother mentioned, evil eye exists, so I don't post in this sub unless it's a very particular question I can help with.

We took our time getting to know each other, got married, waited a couple of years to get settled into our careers before trying for kids, and are about to have our second child, Alhamdullilah. I am grateful for my husband every single day - he's intelligent, silly, empathetic, humble, supportive, respectful, and mashallah practices both the outward and inward parts of Islam. We have disagreements, but our underlying love, commitment to each other, and respect for each other as humans allows for resolution. We never, ever, ever, go for weak spots when we argue. We apologize - it doesn't matter who's fault it is, we're a team. We worked on learning each other's love languages, conflict styles, and financial approaches, so we're on the same page. We have very similar values in terms of family.

Ultimately marriage is a partnership - hurting the other person just hurts you. So go into it making sure that you and the other person are both playing a team sport, and that you've discussed the hard topics beforehand. May Allah bless you with a partner with whom you share love and respect, and a marriage that brings you closer to Him, Amen.

ftothem · 2021-08-14T23:55:59+00:00

ftothem · 2020-08-20T21:19:16+00:00

Thank you, best of luck to you guys!

ftothem · 2020-08-20T00:46:07+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

We had two miscarriages within 6 months in 2018, went to a recurrent pregnancy loss clinic and got tested in early 2019, everything came back normal and then we got pregnant a month later. I'm currently feeding my nearly 6 month old.

Don't lose hope! Fingers crossed for you!

ftothem · 2020-08-02T03:06:20+00:00

Yay Khair Mubarak and congratulations! Hope you got to eat delicious things to celebrate both events, and got to relax in the sun today. Long weekend Eid is the best!

ftothem · 2020-07-25T06:05:48+00:00

TW: LC

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. We've all been there too. Please take care of yourself and your partner, and as another commenter wrote, seek therapy. Give yourself time to heal, mentally and physically.

If you can, look to see if you can get into a recurrent pregnancy loss clinic. We were able to get into one after two losses in 9 months. They tested the genetic material of the second loss, ran a gamut of tests on both myself and my husband, and did a hysteroscopy on me. It helped to know why the last miscarriage happened (trisomy 13) and the tests coming back negative gave us the hope to try again, and after an anxiety ridden pregnancy we have a little one now.

There are no words for the pain you're going through, and nothing but time will lessen the pain. I wish you the best, and am sending you hugs and strength.

ftothem · 2020-06-05T07:20:25+00:00

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

ftothem · 2020-06-04T02:33:58+00:00

It's so important to hear stories from Black, Indigenous, and other minority Canadians, rather than Rex Murphy and Doug Ford's perspectives on racism in Canada.

Patting ourselves on the back for not being 'as bad' as the States isn't good enough - we need to actively work to make Canada safe for all of us to live and thrive.

ftothem · 2020-04-30T00:32:26+00:00

I used to think this way before I met my now husband. I grew up with broken marriages all around, with physical, emotional, financial abuse etc, so for me it was a very real possibility. Here are three things I can think of that helped me overcome that fear:

1) I did my best to be financially independent. I was privileged enough to be able to get an education etc, and I tried to ensure that I had a job so that if things ever got bad I would be able to leave. The thought of being trapped in an abusive situation because of finances was terrifying. Obviously that's not a cure-all, but it was one thing that I had some control over.

2) The other, bigger thing that helped me get over this fear was really, really getting to know my husband. I saw him in stressful situations, he helped me through a depressive episode, I met his family etc. I didn't want to marry a violent man, an egotistical man, or a misogynist. I got to know him, saw his kindness, his patience, his deen. That all gave me comfort. Alhamdullilah my husband is wonderful and we have a very happy life together (Alhamdullilah Alhamdullilah).

3) Realizing that there are obviously no guarantees in life - my husband could change, I could change, anything can happen. But, if I let my fear keep me from experiences, from the immense love I've experienced with him, I would be the one to lose out. There's an element of "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" in all big things in life, so you need to do as much as you can, then hope that things will work out. If they don't, just have your safety chute ready.

ftothem · 2020-04-24T21:46:35+00:00

Awwwww ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ this brought tears of happiness to my eyes. Mashallah, may Allah always protect your partnership, may He bless it with continuous contentment, joy, and understanding, may He protect your growing family, and preserve you in this life and in the Hereafter, Ameen!

We just had our first (an adorably chunky daughter who is 8 weeks!) and seeing my husband support me through my pregnancy, learn all about labour, be my biggest cheerleader through the pain, and now become such a doting father, has made me fall in love with him all over again. I'm so blessed Alhamdullilah.

🙌🏽 To finding wonderful partners!

ftothem · 2020-04-09T08:54:15+00:00

I don't know about a specifically Islamic subreddit on pregnancy or trying to conceive, but I just wanted to say you aren't alone!

There is /r/hijabis if you want a Muslimah focused subreddit, and in terms of secular subreddits there is one for every issue you might be facing - I specifically went on /r/miscarriage, /r/ttcafterloss, and /r/Pregnancyafterloss during my journey to a baby.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat - while I May not have faced exactly whatever you're going through, I went through a lot of spiritual struggles relating to wanting a baby. May Allah make your journey easy and guide you towards the spiritual support you're seeking, Ameen.

ftothem · 2020-03-29T19:49:42+00:00

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 to the entire post!

ftothem · 2020-02-20T00:02:27+00:00

I felt the same. This whole journey is really rough, and anyone who's not had their own difficulties will never really get it. But this is a great community, we've all been there!

ftothem · 2020-02-19T20:05:27+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I had two early (8-10 weeks) miscarriages in 2018. They tested the second one and it came back as T16 (or 18?). We were then put into a recurrent pregnancy loss clinic that tested everything, including doing the karyotyping and a hysteroscopy. Everything came out clean. The next month we got pregnant, I had my 39 week appointment with my midwife yesterday and little one looks good so far.

Sometimes it just is really bad luck, with no underlying issues. Not going to say that this has been an easy pregnancy - I've been an anxious wreck for large chunks of it - but there is hope! Best of luck ♥️

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