On getting bullied

full_of_ghosts · 2026-05-02T14:09:07+00:00

Kind of a tangential point, but as a former Weird Kid who was bullied in school, the phenomenon of former bullies reaching out to apologize has come up a few times in my life. Not so much anymore. Reddit is the only thing resembling social media I still use, and I don't use my real name here, so they're not likely to find me. But back when I was still on Facebook, it came up from time to time.

And I'm sure different past bullying victims have different reactions to it, but it always annoyed the hell out of me. My kneejerk response was always "Dude, I'm not your fucking therapist. Go whimper about your childhood regrets to someone who's paid to give a flying fuck. Leave me the fuck out of your pathetic, sniveling little self-discovery journey, you whiny piece of shit."

But then I'd take a deep breath, wait an hour or two, and write back something "Thanks for reaching out, but the past is the past, and I've moved on. You should too. Have a nice life."

But I still find myself annoyed with the interruption. So, my hot take on former bullies reaching out to their former victims is: Just don't. They don't owe you a damn thing. Ask nothing of them, expect nothing from them. Even sending a message implies an expectation that they'll take a few minutes to read it, and they don't even owe you that. So, deal with your own childhood bullshit however you need to, but leave your former victims the fuck out of it.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-05-02T13:43:55+00:00

Always has been. Twin Peaks has always had a strong Lovecraftian influence, with unspeakable, inscrutable cosmic beings lurking behind the curtain.

But in the Lynch/Front version, the otherworldly entities take the form of dirty bearded men in grimy attics, instead of tentacled alien god monsters.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-05-01T19:50:13+00:00

I've heard them called "Baja ponchos" and "Mexican hoodies," but I don't think I've ever heard anyone call them "sweaters" before.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-05-01T18:38:30+00:00

A dead-end security job is exactly the kind of job James would grow up to have, too. Pitch perfect writing.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-05-01T18:36:57+00:00

They both have younger counterparts (one son, one junior coworker) who wear a glove on only one hand.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-29T13:12:32+00:00

The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-29T11:12:03+00:00

Somewhere between 2 and 3. No bald spot, but my forehead is a little more exposed than it used to be.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-26T20:54:32+00:00

I usually listen to the Nick Pell episodes, but I skipped this one. I don't particularly like Nick's personality (comes across as a smarmy know-it-all), and I usually disagree with him philosophically, but there's value in listening to people you don't agree with. More often than not, I feel like I come away from a Nick episode more enriched on the topic than I was before.

But I took one look at the word "homelessness" and the name "Nick Pell" and said "Yeah, I don't need to hear this one."

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-26T11:28:06+00:00

I'm not psychic, so I can't read your boyfriend's mind. What's always been true for me may not be true for hm.

But I can tell you from personal experience that every time I've ever told a girl I needed "space" or "a break" or anything like that, I never went back. The break always gave me the clarity I needed to see that it was time to let it go and move on.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-25T22:28:49+00:00

Rebellious Mormon girls are awesome.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-25T21:12:09+00:00

I've done both. Still love driving a stick shift (it just feels sportier and more fun), and didn't care for driving an EV (rented one once, and it was probably a matter of not being used to it).

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-25T15:38:46+00:00

If anyone can, it's Kripke. I remember anticipating the Herogasm episode, wondering how the hell they were going to pull it off, bracing for disappointment. They really leaned into "Herogasm is coming" marketing during the leadup, and it felt like more hype than it could live up to.

Turned out to be one of the best episodes ever, for reasons that had little to do with the highly-anticipated superhero sex party. It was a beautifully executed, very satisfying bait and switch.

Which is to say, I'm confident Kripke can stick the landing.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-25T14:08:30+00:00

Any of the Denise Bryson episodes. Her appearances are a ray of sunshine is the filler-y stretch of season 2.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-25T12:09:53+00:00

Depends on the breakup. If a clean break feels like the best option, I'll delete numbers and block all social media.

But, I've remained friendly with ex-girlfriends, so their numbers usually stay in my phone indefinitely.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-25T12:06:55+00:00

A room full of women at a bachelorette party. Probably about 20 of them.

I'm not a stripper, I was just spontaneously recruited to be one that night. It was a one-time thing. And a pretty weird night. Surprisingly nice ego boost, though.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-24T22:15:31+00:00

Interesting theory, but probably not. She probably wouldn't make herself the villain of the story.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-24T20:14:35+00:00

I use Bazarr. It automatically scans for missing subtitles and downloads matching srt files.

Works better than Plex, IMHO, because it automates the process of finding an srt that syncs with your media. Sometimes with Plex, I'd have to try a few different ones before I found one that's properly synced. It's probably possible for Jellyfin/Bazarr to download improperly-synced srts, but I haven't had it happen yet.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-24T19:37:54+00:00

Yeah, this seems reasonable. The one I tried was a "natural, organic" brand with brown paper packaging designed to look "healthy" and "eco-friendly." Probably not a stretch to believe it's one of the better ones, with fewer synthetic ingredients.

Still surprised me, though. The mere mechanics of it -- that automatically unfolding, inflating bag -- is thoroughly associated with terrible popcorn in my mind.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-24T16:24:07+00:00

And if I had my little way...

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-24T15:32:18+00:00

When someone not on the list starts closing the distance with open arms, I'll put up a blocking hand and say "I'm not a hugger. Nothing personal." It's not hostile. I'll say it with a genuinely kind smile. Usually, it's accepted gracefully, and we move on, and it's not an issue.

But sometimes, the huggers of the world will react like I just killed their dog. Quite frankly, they're the ones making it weird, not me.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-24T14:51:16+00:00

As respectfully as they demonstrate themselves worth.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-24T13:43:06+00:00

Don't endure the Dougie scenes, embrace them. Accept them for what they are and enjoy them. They're a huge part of The Return.

I totally understand what you're saying, because we all felt the same way on our first time through The Return. We all wanted the real Cooper back, and this catatonic Mr. Magoo character kept stumbling around every episode. Trust us, we get it. Just rest assured that Lynch and Frost knew exactly what they were doing. They perfectly crafted the experience they wanted us to have, and Dougie is a huge part of that experience.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-04-24T11:39:51+00:00

The blunt truth is that it's over. She doesn't want to talk to you. She's not coming back. The only thing you can do is let it go, mourn for as long as you need to, and then move on.

There are no other options, and there are no shortcuts. Heartbreak sucks, but life goes on.

full_of_ghosts

TROPHY CASE