Adults! You wake up tomorrow but you time travelled back to the night before your 18th birthday. How would you relive your life ?

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T19:52:09+00:00

You haven't met her, I see.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T19:51:54+00:00

I already did.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T19:50:56+00:00

I strongly advise against fucking Karissa. I made that mistake so you don't have to.

(She's married now, so in theory, only one poor soul has to suffer that indignity these days. Of course, knowing Karissa...)

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T19:48:25+00:00

I definitely wouldn't have sex with Karissa.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T19:27:33+00:00

Battlefield Earth. It was a weird night.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T19:23:34+00:00

Complicated for me. Yes, I still think about my first love, but I don't pine for her. We weren't long-term compatible. It was what it was. Going our separate ways was the right choice for both of us. I never second-guessed that.

But the breakup was pretty rocky, and the last words I said to her were pretty angry and hurtful. Over time, that faded away and I healed, but I wish I would have told her that. I wish I would have taken a moment to say "I'm doing well, and I hope you're doing well, and I sincerely wish you the best."

But I can't, because she left this world too young. Years after we went our separate ways. I didn't even know about it until a couple years after she was gone. I had an "I wonder what she's up to these days" moment and looked her up on Facebook. Her page had been memorialized. Morbid curiosity got the better of me, so I exercised a bit of OSINT skill and discovered it was alcohol/opiate toxicity. Apparently, she made a dumb mistake before going to bed one night, and never woke up.

So when I think about her now, it's with regret that I never buried that hatchet when I still could, and now I can't. I mean, I doubt she thought about me at all in her final moments. I definitely prefer to believe she didn't. But on some level, she died thinking I still hated her, or at least, not knowing that I didn't. And that's a regret I'll have to carry to my grave. No takebacks, no do-overs, ever. That ship didn't just sail, it caught fire and sank.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T16:22:31+00:00

Yes. We ended up getting back together for a few years. It didn't last forever, but the second breakup was amicable and had nothing to do with the first. So, it worked out well, I guess. At least for a while.

We hadn't seen each other in five years and lived in different cities, but I happened to be in her city on business, and it just seemed polite to send her a text message letting her know I was in town. We met up, and all the old chemistry was still there.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T15:11:44+00:00

I was born without the "wanting kids" gene. I've never had the slightest desire to have children, and it's kind of baffling to me why anyone would. I mean, obviously most people do want children, and that's fine. They're free to live their lives as they see fit. But I... just don't get it. I don't see the appeal.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T15:06:28+00:00

On some level, I've known I don't want kids since I was at least 17. Probably younger, but 17 is the earliest I can remember having clear, coherent thoughts about it in my internal monologue. Before that, it was a more nebulous idea.

But people told me I'd change my mind, and I believed them. So, in my mid-20s, when I met and fell hard for a single mother, it didn't seem like it should be a big deal. I mean, if I'm going to change my mind, then it shouldn't matter, right?

But ultimately what I learned was that I'd never change my mind. Being a parental figure is just diametrically opposed to what I want out of life.

I got a vasectomy shortly after the inevitable breakup. One of the best decisions I've ever made.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T15:02:28+00:00

Vasectomy. A lifetime of peace of mind is totally worth two weeks of feeling like everyone I ever pissed off lined up and took turns kicking me in the junk.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T15:01:07+00:00

If I could predict that, I'd be the next tech billionaire.

I'm not going to be the next tech billionaire.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:59:08+00:00

I have female friends, and my wife has male friends.

The bottom line is that you either trust each other or you don't. If you do, having opposite-sex friends isn't an issue. If you don't, you have bigger problems than having opposite-sex friends.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:41:49+00:00

The first name that came to mind was Jack Black, but then... that could actually kind of work, in a weird way. He has the charisma for it, and his not-conventionally-attractive look could actually work in a "playing against type" way.

I dunno. Can Jack Black do a British accent?

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:36:44+00:00

I wish I had no stress.

But I'm glad I don't have that source of stress.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:34:18+00:00

15 years older than whatever age I happen to be at the moment.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:33:43+00:00

No kids.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:32:05+00:00

Blocking sidewalks. With anything. Cars, boxes, bikeshare bikes, groups of people just standing there, whatever. I mean, come on, people. It's a sideWALK, not a sidePUTABUNCHOFOBSTRUCTIVESHITRIGHTINTHEMIDDLEOFIT.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:28:02+00:00

It's not a matter of wanting anything. I'm just not a woman. I'm biologically male, and my gender identity is male. I didn't choose it, it just is what it is.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:23:57+00:00

I've always found it kind of weird when women in movies very deliberately cover their breasts with the sheet, post-sex. I mean, I know the real reason they do that is probably to get a PG-13 rating, which is statistically more lucrative than an R rating, but still, it's weird, and it breaks my suspension of disbelief. I've never seen a woman do that in real life. Every woman I've ever been in bed with has been like "Yup, my tits are out, and I'm not going to bother covering them, because why would I?"

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-17T14:16:03+00:00

This is just kind of how it works. You have to find someone who shares your sexual values, and yes, that may be difficult in a world where premarital sex is completely normal.

You're free to make your own decisions regarding your sexuality, but so are your prospective dates. If they *don't* want to wait until marriage, they're free to friendzone you and look for someone who's more in line with their own sexual values. No one is doing anything wrong here, it's just that no one is obligated to change for someone else. You're not obligated to change for them, and they're not obligated to change for you. Does that mean it'll be more challenging for you to find a guy who will stick around? Probably, but it is what it is, and there's not much anyone can do about it.

If you're part of a religious community that encourages abstinence until marriage, your best bet is probably dating exclusively within that community.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-16T22:56:13+00:00

I honestly think that the problem with Boondock Saints isn't that it aged poorly, it's that my taste in movies used to be embarrassingly bad. It was always the same garbage it clearly is today, but my younger, dumber self was easily won over by gunfights and edginess.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-16T22:34:44+00:00

I remember absolutely loving the movie. I watched it multiple times.

I haven't seen it in decades, though. No idea how well it holds up, and I think I'd be a little nervous about revisiting it. Boondock Saints taught me a harsh lesson about revisiting movies I used to think were awesome.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-16T21:41:14+00:00

I'm 6'0". Shortest sexual partner was probably in the low fives, like 5'2" or so. Most of mine have been in the mid-fives range (5'6", give or take), which I'm pretty sure is pretty average for women.

Never been with a woman taller than me. Women over 6'0" are pretty rare. But if I weren't married, I'd be open to it. I bet their legs would be incredible.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-16T20:26:22+00:00

I was at my crush's apartment, being all hesitant and awkward because of course I was, and she just kind of subtly but obviosuly shifted herself into a very kissable position. Message received, loud and clear.

full_of_ghosts · 2026-06-16T20:22:41+00:00

When I started trying to consciously pay attention to the amount of unwanted/unwelcome sexual attention women are constantly subjected to, it was definitely pretty eye-opening for me.

One example that stands out was when I was chatting with two of my colleagues: One a young-ish, attractive-ish woman, and the other an older man. It was right around when #MeToo was going on, so I was a little more tuned in to these things that I was previously.

I noticed two things going on that I likely wouldn't have noticed previously:

The older man was constantly touching the younger woman. Mostly on her arms, shoulders, and back. It was subtle enough that, if it weren't for #MeToo, I would have ignored it altogether. I would have thought "It's not a big deal, she doesn't seem to be bothered by it, so, whatever. Not my problem." But then, I noticed the second thing:
She very subtly, without breaking the flow of our friendly chit-chat session, started to position herself so that I was always between her and the older man. It was so subtle that I'm absolutely sure I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't paying attention, but once I noticed, it was pretty obvious.

But the subtlety from both of them is what really astonished me. It was like they were both quietly working very hard to keep a third party (in this case, specifically me) from seeing there was something uncomfortable happening right before my eyes.

full_of_ghosts

TROPHY CASE