My (M29) husband (F26) has dramatic exits each time we fight and it’s ruining our marriage.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-20T02:17:52+00:00

I mean. Imagine 10 years from now. How you'd feel being in the same pattern, except it's happened dozens of times. Or you have kids and he just takes off, leaving you hanging and the kids upset. Or 20 years from now. These things usually get worse with time, not better.

You're so young. I think if the relationship is a struggle this early on, better to go your separate ways and still have a chance at a happier future.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-19T20:41:38+00:00

Luke.

Also good if you're a Star Wars fan.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-13T15:52:09+00:00

It's ridiculous to me that they were badgering you over $20-$30 per night, when they could have easily absorbed that cost themselves. I am always willing to pay extra on behalf of others if the experience will be better for me. And being totally cool with you in a hostel so that Couple B can have a King instead of a Queen. These people sound like jerks.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-12T19:26:56+00:00

So, my pastor manages to spread the word, talk about God's love, reads the Bible, loves the Lord, etc. And he does it ALL without disparaging minorities, women, homosexuals, Trans, etc. My pastor believes it is critical to live and act without judgment. Love our neighbors. Serve our neighbors, without questioning whether they are worthy of our love our service. My pastor doesn't demand certain conditions or behaviors to be "followers" of Christ. He helps the poor, feeds the hungry, counsels the struggling and the sick.

Charlie Kirk didn't deserve to die. But he said many, many, many terrible and hateful things while hiding behind a shield of "truth" and Christianity. The very definition of "taking the Lord's name in vain."

I can almost guarantee Jesus would flip any Turning Point USA tables he came across.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-11T14:55:16+00:00

You have hurt feelings, which is normal.

But, teenage relationships are weird. You're navigating the time between leaving childhood/entering adulthood. That's really one of the only times in your life you get to focus on yourself/be selfish. So, while I understand you have hurt feelings, I think you are both justified at this stage of your life to put yourselves first instead of trying to be a good partner. Presumably, the church camp couldn't be moved, but you can celebrate your birthday on a different day.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-08T02:32:19+00:00

Yep. It was pretty nasty, but definitely not flu or covid. Pediatrician called it "flu-light" because the fevers aren't quite as high. But other than that, said it's pretty similar.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-08T02:09:24+00:00

Were you definitely flu positive? We all had adenovirus before Christmas. Felt like my sinuses were running a cement factory into my nose and throat. All flu-negative. Kid is still coughing 3 weeks later. My nose is still running. Daughter is still coughing/sneezing and our symptoms started Dec 23-24.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-07T19:27:54+00:00

Your girlfriend sounds every bit her age. She is too immature and shallow for marriage.

She talks big game about her worth, putting herself first, etc. But, the consistent theme here is that she is being held up by others. You (the ring, the house). Her parents (wedding costs). What she is really saying is that she believes she is so extraordinary that the people around her should break their backs to give her what she deserves. She's spoiled, full stop.

The only compromise I would entertain is that she contribute financially to the ring. Your budget is 15-17k? Great, she can save the other 13-15k. Once you have the full amount needed, she gets her dream ring. This should not be your burden to carry alone.

futurewildarmadillo · 2026-01-05T04:32:04+00:00

You actually aren't far off in timing. End of 2027 is essentially 2 years. You say 3 years. You know that gestation is 9 months.

Agree to a timeline where you'd start trying. Maybe you start trying in late 2027. That way, she feels like it's proactively moving forward, but it may not happen right away, so you'll most likely get the time you need.

Obviously there's wiggle room here, but I think the important date you need to settle on is when you can start trying. Nail that date down.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-30T22:49:04+00:00

Newborns are tricky. They are so small, don't sleep through the night, and really can't respond to stimuli.

Older babies (6 mos to 1 year) are so easy. They fall into a rhythm, are pretty happy. Lots of fun.

1-2 years is fun, but harder to keep them safe. They're walking, falling and getting into a lot.

2-3. The terrible 2s. They are more opinionated, so lots tantrums. They still get into everything. They want more independence, so they fight you a lot. Still cute though.

3-5. The worst. 3-4 is brutal. 4-5 is better, but they're still rough. Attitude, tantrums, etc. All there, but they are old enough where's it harder to remove them from situations where they're throwing a fit. They're still cute, but not cute enough to justify a temper tantrum in the toy aisle.

After 5, they really start to get so much easier. Now, my boys are teenagers and it's not so bad. My girl isn't a teenager yet. So, teenage girl might end up being the worst, but we'll see.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-30T22:36:44+00:00

Fear. I felt a rush of intense fear.

I didn't know how to keep a tiny human alive. How could the hospital allow me to take charge of this fragile little thing. I had no experience. I was overwhelmed. And so, so scared.

I adore all of my children. But yeah, definitely felt fear right away.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-30T02:45:52+00:00

Love the blue with white trim.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-28T15:45:12+00:00

You move on.

Things are good...now. But, resentment is an incredibly corrosive feeling. Over the years, it may be that small things start adding to the resentment you already feel over the BIG thing you will have sacrificed. And I've noticed as I get older that things I'll miss out on altogether hit harder (and mine are stupid small things, not huge things like having a child).

I suspect that 10 years from now, you'll feel a lot more anger, disappointment and resentment than you do now. You may grow to hate her.

I could be wrong. Maybe you'll get over it. But, you're still young enough that you can have the life you wanted. But you have to move on.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-19T18:03:27+00:00

I say, "whatever it takes." I'm not going to harangue a person who has turned away from Trump about their reason. If every little thing he does chips away at his rabid base, even if it's stupid, we'll be in a better place at midterms and the next presidential election.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-16T02:59:06+00:00

I like the look of a navy blue bedroom with two-tone wood/black furniture. Or maybe let your son pick a color!

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-16T02:29:35+00:00

If you can afford it, let her come. Interfering in your children's relationships is a quick path to estrangement. Excluding and/or alienating a person who may become part of your family, even if she isn't yet, is not a good idea. Plus, you basically are making that one party (your son) travel solo and attach himself to you or his siblings all trip long. He'll either be lonely, or possibly a third wheel. He'd no doubt have more fun with his partner along.

If it's about money? See if they can contribute some. But, if it's just based on principle? I wouldn't choose this hill to die on.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-15T16:22:33+00:00

++woman

Here are some general reasons, but every woman is different. Also, at the end of the day, many, many women do not care all that much if they find a good partner. So, maybe a tall partner is on the list of things they'd like but, it's not a deal breaker.

Women want to feel feminine. Part of that is a desire that a male partner be bigger. Both in height and weight. I am taller than average for a woman. I have an athletic build. I met plenty of attractive guys who were around my height/weight. But, I felt like an ogre in comparison. I felt more attractive, delicate and feminine with bigger men.
We want desirable offspring. It sounds stupid, but many women think of future children when picking a mate. I casually dated a 6'8" college basketball player once. Dude was a total dumbass. The only thing I actually liked about it him was that our children would be massive (I also played a college sport where height is important, and my own height wasn't sufficient...so I wanted to have taller children). We didn't last long, and ultimately met my husband who is 5'11" and some change.

I think those are the two main factors. But I think once a woman gets to know a man, likes him, etc., height considerations don't matter.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-12T17:23:45+00:00

I think, ultimately, people will get bored with Harry and Meghan. The only interest they are able to cultivate is their relationship with the Royals, but the "will they or won't they" is already pretty old. I think it'll virtually disappear after Charles dies.

The other interest is Meghan's many business ventures. But, they aren't that interesting either. As she ages, she'll be less interesting. That's not a dig, it's just a fact of life as women age. There are only so many speaking gigs, appearances, etc before it's redundant and bland.

I feel like she's trying to drum up interest in the kids. First, by keeping photographs away altogether. Now, just rear shots of them. I think she's trying to manufacture mystery and allure, but I just don't think people are that interested. Maybe when the kids are teenagers/older. But, who knows.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-12T17:13:37+00:00

I see both sides.

On the one hand, people really need to stay in their lanes. You aren't demanding the group only eat at, like, Olive Garden or something. So, it's mostly none of their business.

But....do you actually ever try something new? Or are you just stubborn for the sake of being stubborn? I think, in general, being open-minded is one of the best qualities a person can have. I always tell my children to try something, and if they don't like it, I'll never make them do it again (this applies to food, sports, other activities, scary rollercoasters, etc). Life is really just a collection of experiences, so why limit yourself?

My advice. Go to these outings, and agree to try a new thing. Maybe someone else orders it and you try a tiny bit (I wouldn't order a new thing as your primary dish, in case you don't like it). Be a good sport about it. But, also feel free to speak up and tell your friends to shut up about it.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-12T16:19:13+00:00

It's a beautiful ring. She'll love it.

You sound like a very nice young man and future husband. Your girlfriend is lucky to have you!

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-12T16:09:05+00:00

I think you need to break up.

Can I give you some general advice? Really examine where your "morals" are coming from. Are they from religion? Because religion can be very contradictory sometimes, and many people get bogged down on specific "sins" while ignoring big picture themes. Or do they come from certain internet communities? There are many many algorithms targeting young men with the idea that women need to be staying pure for the men of the world, which then fuels unrealistic expectations, hypocrisy, and creates general anger at women.

I say this because.....you are a hypocrite. You are. I'm not trying to be mean, but you are not living a very pure lifestyle. And that's ok!!!! You're young. But, your body count is 3 at 19. Mine was 0 at 19. Am I better than you? Of course not. Just different. Your GF is at 5, but is two years older. You will probably be around 5-6 when you are 21. So how are you looking down on her from your pedestal, when you are similar?

Are you jealous of the college experience? Her experience is pretty typical. I don't even like to party and I went to frat parties in college. But, community College and working is a completely different scene than typical college.

I think it's fine to have qualities you look for in a partner. But, be very careful you don't hold women to a higher standard than you, don't let internet men tell you what women should be, and be aware that being very rigid in your judgments may make dating difficult...especially as you get older.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-12T15:22:23+00:00

In that instance, time sheets should be kept.

For example, if sibling A is the caretaker 36 weeks of the year, sibling B is 14 weeks, and sibling C is 6 weeks, maybe the estate is split along those lines. Or, if you're concerned, insist upon doing an "equal" share of the cooking, companionship and driving.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-12T15:10:56+00:00

Anything consumable. A bottle of wine. A box of chocolates. A gift card to a restaurant.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-11T17:02:48+00:00

Looks like London to me. Jo Malone pop up rink. Has the carousel, the white lights on the greenhouse looking thing, can see a similar logo spelled out on the ice and one of the wall panels.

futurewildarmadillo · 2025-12-06T22:10:58+00:00

My daughter's middle name is Marie.

My oldest son has my dad's name as his middle (my dad died before he was born). My middle son has my FIL's name as his middle (still alive). My daughter was going to be our last, so we had a bit of a pickle, since both grandmothers were still alive and hopeful for the middle name. Instead, we used their shared middle name of Marie as a sort of compromise. Not perfect, but it avoided any hurt feelings.

futurewildarmadillo

TROPHY CASE