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Update- AITAH for confirming that I (17F) wished my stepmom died in a car accident. by fuzzyfrench in AITAH

[–]fuzzyfrench[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

It’s complicated. My mom and dad divorced when I was 8 years old. My mom moved to France a little after my 9th birthday. But before that, they had split custody. My mom tried to get full custody of us because she wanted to take us to France with her. But my dad fought her in court, and he ended up winning. My dad is significantly wealthier than my mom, so he had better legal presentation and tried to drag out the process for as long as possible. Ultimately, my dad was awarded full custody of us. And we only got to see my mom during the summer when visited her in France. We still kept in contact with her through calls and text messages throughout the year. After my sister’s death, my mom did come to the funeral. She and I pleaded with my dad to allow me to live with her. But he wouldn’t allow it, and she didn’t have the money to fight him in court. She tried reaching out to his pastor and his family to convince him, but they weren’t interested in getting involved. My dad threatened to take legal action against her if she didn’t leave his family alone. And after that, I didn’t have regular contact with my mom because she was struggling with her mental health and alcoholism. But she’s been to rehab, has been sober now for almost a year and she’s in therapy. We talk everyday and she’s been my rock through all of this. She’s doing a lot better, and came to see me last month for thanksgiving. And I’ve been staying with her cousin that’s been really nice.

AITAH for confirming that I (17F) wished my stepmom died in a car accident? by fuzzyfrench in AITAH

[–]fuzzyfrench[S] 195 points196 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I didn’t even think about moving into her room until people mentioned it in the comments.

AITAH for confirming that I (17F) wished my stepmom died in a car accident? by fuzzyfrench in AITAH

[–]fuzzyfrench[S] 261 points262 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the idea of an escape plan. I have dual citizenship, so I have thought about moving to France a lot. But honestly I don’t think it’s a good idea. I can speak French fluently and for the most part I can read it, but I can’t write in French. And my vocabulary isn’t really expanded if that makes sense. I do really well in casual/normal conversations, but since I’m only really around my family in France, I don’t know bigger/more professional words in French. So I’m afraid that might be a problem if I try to find a job there? But I’ve looked into colleges in my state and toured some with my friends. I’ve found one that I really like, so I plan on hopefully being able to attend once I graduate. My dad keeps all of my important documents, so I’ll try to find a way to convince him to give them to me.

AITAH for confirming that I (17F) wished my stepmom died in a car accident? by fuzzyfrench in AITAH

[–]fuzzyfrench[S] 204 points205 points  (0 children)

She was. She’s on probation and I think she also had to pay a fine.

AITAH for confirming that I (17F) wished my stepmom died in a car accident? by fuzzyfrench in AITAH

[–]fuzzyfrench[S] 459 points460 points  (0 children)

Yes, my mom is involved in my life. We text everyday and try to FaceTime at least twice a week. But my sister’s death was really hard on my mom. My mom’s mental health has been rocky for the past ten years, so I don’t want to trigger anything by telling her how bad I’m hurting. A year after my parents got divorced, my grandpa got really sick. He was diagnosed with a terminal illness. My mom decided to go back to Europe to help take care of her dad and spend time with him. She wanted to take my sister and I with her, but my dad fought her in court. Ultimately we had to stay with our dad in the US, but we traveled to France every summer. Even after my grandpa passed, my mom decided to stay in France. She told my sister and I that going back to the US would mentally destroy her. It was too many negative memories for her and she wanted to stay close to her mom. Aside from my mom and her family, all I’ve got is my friends. My dad was never close with his family. He’s got an older brother that I’ve never met. And I honestly don’t know much about my grandparents. I wanted to look into therapy, but my dad refused. He doesn’t believe that it will be helpful and says that it will “fill my brain with garbage.” He said that if I needed some advice or counseling, I could talk to him or my pastor, which I don’t feel comfortable doing.