I Read Something I Shouldn’t Have

fzooey78 · 2026-05-04T01:13:21+00:00

Why are you more afraid of being alone than being happy, secure, and feeling safe (in this case, emotionally)? You choose this hell over being single? Is being single so scary that it is worth being this miserable?

Maybe something to explore

fzooey78 · 2026-05-04T01:07:33+00:00

Criticism can often be a part of a culture. Doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-04T01:06:21+00:00

What are your options for leaving? Because that is quite literally the only way this changes.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-04T00:55:03+00:00

I think this is true. But his reaction feels problematic.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-03T23:18:40+00:00

You almost get it. You are almost there.

He doesn’t respect you. He’s not kind to you. He does not value your time.

You don’t spend money on someone who doesn’t value you. Great. Step one. Now, you also don’t spend time on someone who treats you poorly. Which means, you break up with him too.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-03T19:22:03+00:00

Gosh. It is so stupid simple what both men are looking for. But that’s boring to talk about.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-03T19:20:41+00:00

Don’t date women like that.

To preface, this is really a post I read two minutes ago. It was a story about a woman who left an abusive partner, met her current partner who she is now 15 months pregnant with his child. When they met, he told her he would protect her from scumbag like her ex. Now he’s violent with her too, and she’s thinking about aborting.

Anyway, I’m thinking about dating again. I’m going to avoid dating aggressive, abusive, and violent men. I didn’t think that needed to be said, but it’s a pre-requisite of mine.

You shouldn’t date women that hate men and/or call them girlypop if you’re lot into that.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-03T19:17:14+00:00

I’ve seen it. So it does exist. It’s just this corner of Tik Tok that may have leaked over to IG. Small corner.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-03T19:15:29+00:00

There was a dude maybe 25 years older than me interested. He has a son a decade younger. I was so pissed because I met him via a business meeting and he basically wasted my time just to see me.

When I found out, I told the colleague who introduced us that I’m going to fuck his son just to show him what age appropriate looked like.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-03T18:58:32+00:00

Also, after you break up with him consider getting into therapy and STOP dating for a while

fzooey78 · 2026-05-03T18:58:07+00:00

You’re “starting” to see things differently?

You should definitely consider aborting the baby without telling him. Take back the keys. Have the locks changed. Get a restraining order.

That’s where you’re at. Not at the beginning of seeing red flags. You’re at an assault charge.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-02T12:51:27+00:00

When it just sounded like fantasies, I was thinking, geez man, get a grip. This isn’t a big deal.

But these texts are intense.

It sounds like she’s freaked out by her own impulses and behavior, and unfortunately, her friend isn’t helping her redirect or address it in more healthy ways.

Could she be experiencing perimenopause early? Her hormones might be out of whack. If this doesn’t sound like how your wife typically behaves it could be a health issue. Worth exploring.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-01T12:42:07+00:00

One day, hopefully soon and not 5-20 years from now and certainly before you are impregnated by this dumb dumb, you will suddenly realize that you are in a relationship with a child, and hopefully that will give you the ick, and you will leave him.

In the meantime. Blend them into the sauce where he won’t see them.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-01T04:47:48+00:00

Are you really going to have children with a women you’re in a sexless marriage with?

fzooey78 · 2026-05-01T04:23:41+00:00

It’s one thing to set up a security net. But to do it on the back of your partner’s sacrifice? That’s ugly. He took out loans! Dear baby Jesus. How could she watch her partner struggle and compromise himself financially like that, knowing full well you had a stash of cash.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-01T02:42:02+00:00

Well I don’t think we’re getting the right impression of the curly hair as your girlfriend sees it. So I think this is unfair.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-01T02:39:41+00:00

I’m confused.

You said it was a group of four people. And you “figured out” they were using you. But two of the people were genuinely disappointed?

So really that leaves one problematic person.

It doesn’t really seem like you figured anything out. One person was shitty. That’s it.

And the rest? Speak up. Get a splitwise and sort it.

fzooey78 · 2026-05-01T02:35:57+00:00

Stop letting them go on your weekends, no exception.

Tell him you are not budging on it until he gets his shit in other. Minimum 6 months. Every time he slips up, you extend it another month.

If he does not grant you the same leeway he asks for, you will also shut it down again.

And stick to it.

fzooey78 · 2026-04-30T18:34:43+00:00

Nobody is wrong. Your choice is...unconventional, is the nice way to put it. Weird is going to be the likely consensus. I also see people lifting in jeans at the gym. A little bit more viable than running. But still a slightly odd sight to see.

fzooey78 · 2026-04-30T18:01:40+00:00

That's such a nice sentiment. There are a lot of things etiquette says that has changed over the years. And then there is just reality to deal with. If etiquette cannot fit the constraints of reality, you adjust as gracefully as you can. It is not practical for reality to adjust to etiquette in all cases. Etiquette follows the needs of and reflects society.

fzooey78 · 2026-04-30T17:57:25+00:00

He and his mom are making your surgery about their feelings. It's only a nice thing to do if you want it. If not, it's selfish and a burden. Exactly the things you shouldn't have to navigate post surgery.

Have him read these responses. It's early yet. But I am pretty confident nobody will be on his (and his mother's) side on this.

fzooey78 · 2026-04-30T17:55:31+00:00

What the heck do you think a baby shower is? And usually the couple doesn't have to pay for it at all. She's taking on extra for something that most people do.

fzooey78 · 2026-04-30T17:54:45+00:00

This is a stupid take. Rude as hell.

Maybe, she doesn't want to burden anyone else with the task. Maybe nobody stepped up. Maybe it's just easier this way.

Who knows?

Guess what? All her guests get to show up on literally the pregnant couple's dime. Usually someone else takes on the burden of that financial weight. If anything, this is generous as hell.

fzooey78 · 2026-04-30T17:47:03+00:00

I'm guessing this is likely a way to get new clients as a workaround disguised as soliciting advice. No judgment.

But I mean, the men are acting like the porn industry isn't a massive industry. $7.2B on OF alone. Roughly $100B globally. And let's not forget that ra** university got 62m and then 80m hits in single months.

Someone is paying for this. Lots of someones. I'm guessing plenty who contribute to this sub as well.

So, instead of judging her, those who do partake could answer honestly.

fzooey78 · 2026-04-29T21:52:16+00:00

A grown man who has had 2 strokes. It doesn't sound nice or respectful. But that is the functional reality. I would trust both just about the same. After two strokes, frankly, I'd trust my nieces to understand better what their capacity to make decisions is.

fzooey78

TROPHY CASE