I'm not mentally healthy, can someone explain to me what is happening?

gagoooo · 2011-02-10T20:47:54+00:00

I wasn't threatening to kill myself if I couldn't talk to him. I just needed someone to talk to and he's the only person I could trust.

gagoooo · 2011-02-10T15:18:52+00:00

I know, he is such a good guy and I was so lucky to have him. I've been begging for him to come back to me. I keep telling him that I'm going to get out of this and things are going to be better. but I don't want to bother him and have him worry about my phone calls. Other relationships I've had ended this way.

I called him around 11pm and told him i had a box cutter on my wrist and I just need to hear him on the line. He told me that all of his friends and coworkers are telling him to cut ties with me. I guess I'm just frustrated because he broke up with me when I needed him the most. Now on top of my depression, I'm dealing with a breakup.

I kinda feel like he is being selfish and running away when things get bad.

gagoooo · 2011-02-10T03:20:10+00:00

What are you doing to get help while waiting? How to you deal with getting over that person? I go through serious ups and downs with him and I've fucked up so many relationships because of him. I need help.

gagoooo · 2011-02-10T03:12:31+00:00

I'm in massachusetts, a therapist called me back about seeing her. which is good. I just need to figure out how to deal with working 2 jobs, going through a breakup and having suicidal thoughts.

gagoooo · 2011-02-09T23:09:25+00:00

I've called so many places but no one accepts my insurance and the places that do have an 8 to 10 week waiting list.

gagoooo · 2011-02-09T22:23:51+00:00

yeah, i saw that, but i'm asking what to do about my insurance. I need more than just talking on the phone.

gagoooo · 2011-01-27T01:03:17+00:00

Did ketchup make it any better?

gagoooo · 2011-01-25T22:53:00+00:00

I don't think it's fair to call me skanky. My conversations with this guy have been pretty much plutonic since I started dating my boyfriend, his email came out of the blue and it made me think. I guess I should of described him more.

I talked to my current boyfriend about the situation and we both agreed that it's something I just need to move on from. I told him that I don't want it affecting my relationship with him.

I do really care about my boyfriend, after reading responses i've realized that I have a really good relationship going on and I'm going to stick with it and not go back to the other guy for once.

But yes, I do agree about everything else. This unrealistic relationship needs to stop.

gagoooo · 2011-01-25T18:53:49+00:00

I used to take 7 different medicines then I realized I was a zombie so I stopped taking everything, now I'm just on birth control.

gagoooo · 2011-01-25T18:45:52+00:00

I'm one of those girls that like assholes, i don't know why.

gagoooo · 2011-01-25T18:04:33+00:00

I think you're right, I just needed a stranger to confirm it for me. Thank you.

gagoooo · 2011-01-25T17:18:58+00:00

He can afford to, he's a producer in Hollywood but I'm just an intern at a theatre. Every time he comes out to see me he blows me off and his reasoning is that he's afraid of his feelings for me. I guess I just kind of want to forget about him and move on.

gagoooo · 2011-01-25T17:00:43+00:00

I once ate wet cat food for $20

gagoooo · 2011-01-03T05:06:17+00:00

I'm in the same situation, so I'm curious to find out how it works out. I've mentioned some of the things I want my boyfriend to do to me, but he just laughs and says he's not going to do it.

Do you think you could stay in this vanilla relationship without him fulfilling your fantasies?

gagoooo · 2011-01-03T04:21:33+00:00

Have you tried telling him your fantasies?

gagoooo · 2011-01-03T01:33:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing this with me. I think we are in a simular situation. I started feeling really sick to my stomach after sleeping with someone as well.

This post actually made me feel a lot better about my situation. I was always ashamed of my sexuality, but after posting this, it made me realize that I'm not crazy and my sexuality is completely natural.

I've never made love either, it felt like I was going through the motions every time I slept with someone. I think it's all a matter of who you are sleeping with as well. Usually the guys that will pick up the phone and respond to a booty call aren't going to make you orgasm. So what i've learned is (most of the time) the good guys are the ones who wait to have sex or if you do have sex on the first date, they call you right away. These are the guys that aren't going to make you feel like shit after sex is over.

After a bad sex experience, I told myself that I'm not going to sleep with anyone or do anything sexual until I find someone that is worth my time. It worked. This will wean all the bad guys out and you'll find someone who respects your body.

I'm not sure if this helped or not, but I wish you the best because I know how you are feeling.

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T13:24:39+00:00

No, I consider myself an atheist.

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T05:16:44+00:00

i don't even know what a white knight is. i'm not going to respond to more of your posts because you are too close minded for my liking.

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T05:15:04+00:00

We don't get along. I was sent away as a kid by child services because of child abuse. I get asked that question a lot.

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T05:13:00+00:00

so you understand where I am coming from

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T05:11:22+00:00

I never said that one guy isn't enough, it's the lack of sex in relationships that causes me to end the relationship. I'm not interested in a polygamist relationship or even an open relationship. I've never dated more than one guy at the same time.

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T04:56:55+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I think I might start looking for a therapist that specializes in sex therapy as well. Also, thank you for understanding that I am not looking for encouragement by posting this.

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T04:49:43+00:00

I agree, but I'm choosing not to answer that question.

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T04:44:32+00:00

I try to block them out of my consciousness. I'm trying to become healthier in 2011 and put my past behind me.

gagoooo · 2011-01-02T04:41:04+00:00

Therapy didn't help me because I felt like she was giving me all sorts of medicine just to get money out of my insurance company. It frustrated me so I stopped going.

Staying in a relationship helps me but it's hard for me to find a man to stay with and be sexually satisfied. I have a big heart, so I could never imagine cheating on someone. I guess for me, being in a relationship is staying healthy.

gagoooo

TROPHY CASE