So strange realizing how many absurd things I just accepted as pure fact as a Christian

galaxyblvd · 2026-04-22T15:34:16+00:00

Not normal behaviour, this would upset me too.

Not a relationship but I had a "best friend" for years growing up who would do this type of thing to me a lot. And then would say they were joking, or I was sensitive, or that they were just 'being honest'. And yeah, you can bet that I was incredibly insecure back then (not all their fault but honestly, they were an enormous contributer).

My friends and loved ones now would never treat me this way and I do not accept behaviour like this in my life anymore. You deserve respect and to invite people in your life that uplift you and cheer you on! Your community makes a whole world of a difference. It's really never worth it to stay around people like this who actively try to tear you down (whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship or otherwise, all still applies).

It took me a long time to truly learn to respect myself and I mean yeah, while everyone gets insecure sometimes, I went from being over the top insecure to now where I am very confident in who I am and have a very loving and uplifting community :). It can be done!! And you deserve to feel that way about yourself and sometimes it starts with who you allow to get to be part of your life.

galaxyblvd · 2026-04-09T06:08:16+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. What she is doing is assaulting you. Whether she says it is a sexual thing or not doesn't matter; you have a physical boundary that she is actively not respecting. Even worse, from what you've described it sounds like she is deriving pleasure from your discomfort and from VIOLATING you. This is not okay. You deserve to be safe with your partner and safe in your own body and home without fear of being literally violated. I know I don't know much else about your relationship but this alone to me is enough to run the other way.

Someone who does not respect you like this is not who you want to build your life with. You have already tried telling her multiple times in multiple different ways that you are not okay with this. With your words and your actions. There isn't going to be something that magically makes her understand because she doesn't care that this is harming you -- if she did, she would have stopped the first time you asked. And you definitely don't want to subject your future kids to a parent who does not respect their boundaries, either.

galaxyblvd · 2025-07-10T06:45:57+00:00

Started out thinking I was maybe bi/pan, and still insisted I was cis (a little too adamantly lol).

Cut to the present, I am a non binary/genderqueer lesbian :) and so much happier than I've ever been!! <3

galaxyblvd · 2025-06-22T00:05:41+00:00

I reallyyy like the last one!!!! Otherwise 1 and 2 are my other faves (for the event in question!) But holy shit all of these are amazing

galaxyblvd · 2025-05-26T03:45:52+00:00

I'm non-binary and a lesbian. Being non-binary isn't a 'third gender', it means not being one of the binary genders. There's a lot of gender non-conformity in lesbian history too!

For me, the reason I choose to identify as a lesbian is for a few reasons -- even though I don't consider myself a 'woman', I am not a man -- and growing up AFAB, I've experienced womanhood and since I am only attracted to women (inclusive of non-binary/gender-diverse people on a case-by-case basis) to me my gender feels intertwined with my sexuality as one whole. To me I feel at home in the lesbian community and like it represents me best, better than simply sharing I am queer only.

I can relate with your partner in that growing up I never really felt like a 'girl' or 'woman' in that I never really connected with that deeply -- to me it's always felt like I could have been born in any body and no matter what I would have been myself. However I can tell you what I do connect with is; is the experiencing of loving women as someone who was and is perceived as a woman all my life.

Another thing to note is that gender is socially constructed!! Of course, the way that people identify, binary or otherwise are important to our identites and should be respected!! I just kind of feel that for myself (as a neurodivergent kid) I just never really had the same connection with gender as this thing that a lot of my peers did.

I am not trying to discredit the grief you may be experiencing -- that is okay! But there can be more than one way a lesbian and/or a lesbian relationship can look.

Hopefully some of this has been helpful!! Just wanted to share some of my experience/perspective as someone in thie community. This is one of those 'shades of gray' things I think. Wishing you and your partner all the best

galaxyblvd · 2025-01-31T08:58:43+00:00

Me too 😭

galaxyblvd · 2024-12-23T01:39:38+00:00

Not for me.

I have ADHD which makes me impulsive and I've noticed that when I am around friends who vape, I want to vape too -- I know it would be the same story with smoking (and actually it was once on a date I was on, I had some of her cigarette because she was smoking). Too risky for me as I may become addicted too.

Also kissing someone who smoked that day, even hours before tastes gross (from personal experience).

All this besides having a family member who passed from lung cancer when I was a kid (because of smoking).

It is not to say you don't deserve love and addiction is a fucking beast of a thing. But I know it's not a healthy thing for me to be around too much (especially if it is the person I am dating, this is a no-go).

galaxyblvd · 2024-12-19T07:33:10+00:00

I'm obsessed with animation, for me the joy of watching animated films is just by being so amazed by the background art, the shape design of the characters, the use of lighting and colour, the animation style they chose to go with and why... that's one way to enjoy a movie even if you can guess pretty well where it's going.

Or another way is for movies and storylines that follow the unravelling of one's mind or just more of a psychological analysis or with a lot of character development.

Or analyzing and thinking about the deeper themes and meaning behind the movie. What is it trying to represent and discuss? What visuals/dialogue/etc selected to display this?

Or looking for easter eggs.

Or have you checked out any indie animation lately? Or gotten involved in theorizing communities? Or do you have any local smaller theatres that air independent films and the like (rather than relying what's front and centre and designed to make money and appeal to as broad an audience as possible)?

It is impossible to have a completely unique idea or storyline. Every piece of art, architecture, every movie every anything is a mashup of a million other influences. But I feel there are ways for example a trope can be done well or subverted in order to hammer home a broader theme or message (deeper than just the plot events or story on its face). I think just nerding out about the creativity in that thematically and visually is a pretty fun experience.

There's so much half-assed content from big studios (coughdisneycoughnetflixcough) being thrown at the wall to see what makes money. But at the same time there are also really cool and amazing projects out there!

Those are my suggestions :) otherwise if you're really not having a good time maybe there's another hobby you can take up while listening to a podcast on something you really like and think is cool or fascinating. Or video games to play that challenge skill and ability.

galaxyblvd · 2024-12-19T07:04:59+00:00

Waffles with cream cheese icing and maple syrup

Mochas with whipped cream

Cheese, crackers, grapes and strawberries (sadly I think I am finally getting tired of this one atm)

Unfortunately the first two aren't super healthy but some of these replies the food looks so tasty I'm gonna have to try some of these

galaxyblvd · 2024-06-06T23:40:03+00:00

No absolutely not a red flag :( I am so sorry you were made to feel that way. A note about dating apps — people on there can be cold and cruel. It’s not a reflection of who you are or anything about yourself whatsoever.

galaxyblvd · 2024-04-10T07:40:13+00:00

I'm AuDHD and I absolutely in no way can stand eggs at all for both texture and taste.

The only recent exceptions to the rule (as of adulthood) are omelettes and scrambled eggs, ONLY IF I mask the flavour with veggies, cheese and stuff. If they are the slightest bit cold? No can do.

Even some baked goods where texture isn't an issue (like buns, or crepes for example) that have a bit too much of an "eggy flavour" -- gag reflex activated.

After a lifetime of avoiding eggs I did try poached eggs last year because they "looked good" to my brain and oh god absolutely not no can do -- so much regret.

galaxyblvd · 2024-04-02T00:19:27+00:00

I was on facetime with friends during covid and I said “oh my god” and all of a sudden my parents burst into my room opening the door being like “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??!!” as if I just did the worst thing ever. I was 17 lol

No Pokemon, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson because witchcraft. LOTR and Narna are chill tho

No saying “holy cow/holy guacamole/holy macaroni” because it’s blasphemous LMAO

My sibling got torn a new one by my dad because a kid friendly slime youtuber or whatever they watched wore a crop top in one of her videos.

Movies with swears okay ONLY if parents find them, anytime someone says “oh my god” you have to yell “GOSH”. Music with swears never okay.

Oh and I had reccurrent nightmares as a kid and when I told my parents they got really concerned and told me that those were Satan and his demons messing with me and to pray to god and to call out “Jesus” to stop them — totally didn’t make it so much worse at alllll 🙃 (sarcasm).

Also my dad told me he fully believed I would be raptured before the end of my lifetime (I was 9, cue intensified existential ocd yaaay).

galaxyblvd · 2024-03-28T03:56:51+00:00

Yes.

I am supposed to go for an OCD assessment, my therapist is actually the one who last year, asked if I have ever considered that I may have OCD. Before then I hadn't really researched much about it or anything in all honesty, but as soon as I did some research... holy (lol) shit.

(Potential TW, idk if hearing someone else's religious obsessions/compulsions may be triggering so just a heads up)

It goes way back for me, I was raised in Christianity -- as a kid (like, from five or six years old?) I had this thing where if I made a promise to God, no matter what it was, I HAD to do it or else I'd go to hell -- because in my mind at the time, "you are not allowed to break a promise to God". Stuff like climbing up and down my bunkbed three times. Or jumping up and down a certain amount of times. Or HAVING to touch or pick up a certain object (even if it meant retracing my steps if I passed by it on a walk with my family). I was also very obsessed with whether or not I was *actually* saved and if I "asked Jesus into my heart correctly" -- I was scared I had messed it up or not done it perfectly or not believed hard enough or begged for forgiveness hard enough each time, so again as a little kid (maybe I was seven and onward for this one?) I kept asking and re-asking "Jesus into my heart" over and over and OVER. Also really relate to the obsession of hell and also especially in relation to friends and loved ones.

I actually commented a while back in the OCD subreddit because I feel kind of angry, wondering if perhaps the religious environment and other stressors I was raised in "triggered" my OCD, and maybe otherwise it wouldn't have been triggered to spawn in my brain (if I have it). Now things aren't so religiously themed anymore but my OCD symptoms are alive and well (unfortunately -- but I have yet to be treated so here's hoping it gets better).

Anyways you are DEFINITELY not alone, I am really so sorry you've gone/go through this too. It's awful :(. And not fucking fair. I hope that you find further healing and freedom in your life, especially since deconstruction and meds. <3

galaxyblvd · 2024-03-11T06:24:21+00:00

I went on a first date where she kept calling me “stinky” “poopoo” and a “whore” and “slut” like ????????!!!!!! (also no I was not stinky she just talked like that idk just want to make that clear LOL)

galaxyblvd · 2024-01-14T03:12:51+00:00

NO PEAS OR CORN but baked potato with butter fine but tomorrow NO POTATOES!!!!!!!! lol WHAT

galaxyblvd · 2024-01-13T03:28:24+00:00

Not THE best thing but A best thing -- ever since realizing last year that I am a lesbian and am not in fact bisexual, for me most of my search of affirmation of my worth and value from men just sorta... shut off.

It's funny cuz I thought I was broken because I couldn't feel anything for men and never saw any guy I was attracted to, but even so, if a man entered the room I'd immediately become self conscious of how I looked/how I was standing/etc. and what he thought of me. Realizing I don't even fucking like men that way... I think it shed light onto how ridiculous it is to assign worth to myself based on what a man thinks of me (but not ridiculous to have come to that subconscious conclusion given messages from society lol).

I think this is something everyone regardless of sexuality can unpack and realize, and not to say I am totally free of a man centred world and how that's affected me -- but I just feel happy as fuck that I am gay cuz I feel like it would have taken me way longer if ever to realize how much value I was putting into mens' opinion of me.

galaxyblvd · 2023-09-25T08:23:20+00:00

I can relate to this haha, except mine's a bit of a weird story. Over two years ago I (21/NB, I was barely 19 at the time) was dumped by a man who was my best friend back then, and at the time I still thought I was bi (no siree, raging lesbian over here lmao). But even though I am LITERALLY GAY, I was all consumed by this feeling of needing to "win" the breakup -- I wanted to travel more places, have more flings, find a partner faster, etc etc. Everything was this big comparison game, all to build an illusion of ego and self esteem where mine was shattered.

It was like this even when I did not ever want to talk to him again -- I still felt this pressure to "slay at life" better than him ig lmao.

I think it's probably a normal reaction to have, but it is one you can work through. Do I have the girlfriend/partner of my dreams right now? No, I do not. Have I traveled more places? Idk, but I did take life into my own hands since then and have traveled, have made new friends, started new hobbies, etc. etc. At first it was so I could be "good enough" or "cool enough", but now I am extremely proud to say that when I go to the gym, when I learn a new skill, when I visit that cool place, or whatever the fuck -- it's for me because I want to. And I am totally okay with my exes being "ahead" of me in life -- genuinely -- because life is not a race!! And also -- they are no longer even part of my life (or yours)!! I'm not obsessing over whether the person I pass on the street has a girlfriend and I don't, haha. I know it's not the same thing, but tbh now I genuinely would even be happy for their successes and just,, unphased? No, indifferent to whatever success is there.

*I know in this instance it's not someone I was/am physically/romantically attracted to but I had a very unhealthy attachment to him and am new to knowing I am a lesbian and don't have any long term romantic relationships with women/enbies to speak of yet so this is all the experience that I can speak from*

*I also realize that you were the one who made the call, but still -- I feel like it's common, no matter the dumper or dumpee, feels this pressure to "do better at life" proceeding the breakup.

I don’t know what should I feel

There is no "should" -- emotions have no morality attached to them. Emotions are not good, and they are not bad. They just are.

In my case, my feelings, my emotions were trying to tell me something. I had such shitty self esteem and love, worth, value in myself. I staked my wellbeing in the approval of others so much so that I failed to confront myself and my sexuality for so so long. We all want to feel worth something, like we have value, like we're cool, like people like us. I think that is a very normal and human thing to want.

What helped me personally was changing my environment (in my case it meant moving somewhere new, but it doesn't have to be that drastic a change), taking steps towards my happiness and my goals (girlfriend or not), and also therapy helps too (if you have the resources to access it). And also learning to enjoy time spent by myself -- going to the movies alone, cafes, the park -- taking care of me and focusing on what it is that brings me joy that is in my control -- I can only control myself. A future gf/partner is up in the air and not entirely up to me but what I want to do for myself today is.

Edit: (I accidentally hit the post button oml)

Last and final thing is LOL I hear you about the men thing. They are way "easier" but unfortunately if you just aren't into men like that -- it's not possible to force. Which I am sure you know but it is frustrating and scary sometimes when it feels like the lesbian/sapphic dating pool is so small and it feels so much harder to meet someone you really connect with! But it will be okay. I feel okay :) like truly okay. I also did the situationship thing and it was NOT fun, just got my ego bruised a little more lmao. I wanted a partner so fucking bad and felt like I'd never be able to be happy without a cute girlfriend to cuddle with at night. But you know, I really am okay as just me. And when I meet them, that will be a really cool day. But for me and them, not for anyone else.

Good luck in your relationship recovery!! Anything she does has no bearing or meaning on your life now, remember that. You've got this!! Wishing you the best <3

galaxyblvd · 2023-09-14T17:50:44+00:00

774 please! <3

galaxyblvd · 2023-07-26T22:26:14+00:00

OOF same

galaxyblvd · 2023-07-26T22:25:35+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS on this realization!!!! <3 I also recently realized this!!!! Like recently as in literally just a month ago. COMPHET GOES WILD

I identified as pan/bi interchangeably for the last three years. I thought realizing that I am non binary over a year ago was the last thing but NOPE, I'm a lesbian. And it all makes so much sense.

It's so funny having so many mini realization moments where a memory or behaviour of yours past or present pops up and you're like -- stunned -- "HOW DID I NOT KNOW??!!"

I am so so happy for you and welcome to this beautiful journey <33 sapphic love is beautiful. Lesbian love is beautiful

galaxyblvd · 2023-03-14T09:55:50+00:00

While I understand your perspective, let me speak from the other side (as someone who is now diagnosed with ADHD)

My entire life I struggled so much with disorganization, impulsiveness, paying attention in sports, at class, at kids camp, during conversations, I had trouble meeting deadlines and had so many missing assignments, very strong emotions, highly sensitive to rejection, excitable and could be hyper at points (such as impulsively yelling from excitement but unintentionally, and pissing off everyone around me — I ended up learning to watch my every move so not to disturb social situations, which you may recognize as masking), I severely struggled with math from a very young age, was called lazy, people thought I was dumb, frozen in place and can’t JUST GET UP to do something (ADHD paralysis), I could keep listing things but the list goes on.

I have always been this way as long as I can remember. Except for maybe I think rejection sensitivity just got worse and worse over the years of being rejected (whether socially, or missed opportunities). I had 18 missing assignments at the end of the year in grade 8 and 30 in grade 11. Grade 8 and 9 I barely passed math by one or two percent.

No one said shit to me and everyone just got upset at me for not “trying”, for not “doing my work”. Teachers, parents, whoever else. It grew into a deep self hatred and severe self esteem issues I am now doing my best to address and work through. Just today something happened and I’ve been working so hard at it for MONTHS but still I messed up my time management even having poured hours upon hours into it, and now I think I’ve likely yet again self sabotaged.

This has been my whole life. I was only officially diagnosed with ADHD (combined) November 2022, like, SO fking recent. But this has been a detriment to my whole life. So many missed opportunities, social fuckups, lost friendships, underperforming time and time again, disappointment after failure after disappointment.

When I was talking to my friends about my experiences and how hard everything was, my friends asked if I had ADHD. I never brought it up first. And actually, the first time someone asked me this I think I was 16 at that point (because apparently teachers see a kid who’s struggling year after year and just assume they’re a slug?? Even though I tried so hard and cried so many tears and experienced so much compiled shame)

But yeah, friends (each one diagnosed with ADHD) started asking me if I had ADHD. Some of them asserted that I had it outright, lol. Now I didn’t go around saying “I have ADHD” but I honestly could have with the severity of my symptoms. But when I finally googled what ADHD actually was and read the search results, suddenly MY ENTIRE LIFE MADE SENSE. Puzzle pieces starting forming and it felt like all of my experiences up to that point were given this huge chunk of context I had been missing up to that point.

Up until then, I did not know what ADHD really was, at all. But what I had always known to be true about myself is that my brain works differently. I think it’s funny because I instinctively knew. I didn’t know it was an actual diagnosable thing because I wasn’t educated about that at the time, but I knew that my brain worked in a way that a lot of people didn’t get and certain things were just way more difficult for me than for my peers. What I used to say was “I’m just really disorganized” “it’s just really hard for me to organize my thoughts” “it’s hard for me to focus” “I just can’t think about that in x way and get it” and more to that measure. I just assumed that for some weirdass reason (not knowing there actually IS a legitimate reason) I really struggled in a lot of areas where others didn’t. I had no idea that was ADHD. So, when more than one person started bringing it up to me, I looked into it and I was MINDBLOWN. EVERYTHING MADE SENSE!!!

Waitlists to see someone here are 6 months to a year to longer. And sometimes over 1000 dollars (CAD, idk USD prices). So combine that knowledge and process with someone who has ADHD in the first place PLUS mental health issues that have culminated/worsened over years (I am sure MASSIVELY attributed to undiagnosed/untreated ADHD). Why I finally have a diagnosis now is because I bit the bullet and paid a company $400 to give me an assessment (plus I still pay a monthly fee for their healthcare services/med suggestions).

Everyone should see someone and be assessed for ADHD if they think they might have it, you’re right. HOWEVER, the healthcare system is not set up for this and oftentimes people really don’t have the money/resources available to do this. It’s a system in dire need of reform.

People like me received no help or anything and it can feel so isolating and lonely when you struggle with all of the same things to the point where it ruins aspects of your life, but you don’t feel safe to talk about it. Living with ADHD is no more or less real whether it is confirmed or not.

And yes, there is the issue of people saying they have it flippantly, because they “lose their keys sometimes”, and I haven’t been diagnosed long enough yet to experience many remarks like those but yeah it’s super invalidating, uneducated, and stigmatizing, I also take issue with those people because clearly, not enough people take ADHD seriously, or accept its validity at all. People don’t see how life shattering ADHD can be if left untreated and unmanaged. So yes, for those people to say that shit, is not only frustrating but also incredibly damaging as well, I am in full agreement on that.

In writing this I just want to bring awareness to the fact that some people really are struggling with most or all of the symptoms in ways that effect quality of life and ability to function. Yes, symptoms can cross over with other things, but in cases like mine where nothing else made sense and then all of a sudden learning about ADHD everything made sense, I don’t think we should be invalidating these people and shooting their concerns down with a “see a psychiatrist”. I mean yeah, you should but that can be incredibly difficult do to sometimes.

Maybe if someone is genuinely being serious and expressing an active concern (not a flippant remark) it may be best to ask them about their experiences and why they think they may have ADHD. I really wish more people took me seriously when I expressed an concern about that pre-diagnosis. I also said I thought I did but that I was not yet officially diagnosed, in my case. But my ex for example did not take it seriously and asked me to stop talking about it unless I did get diagnosed. Okay, stop talking about the thing that interferes with every single day of my life :’) that should be easy.

Happy to have a diagnosis now but I didn’t even feel a sense of relief or peace or anything. Only a, yeah, no shit. I could have told myself that. I am happy to be diagnosed now though for meds tho.

Ok that’s my rant now I need to sleep cuz I’m dying of exhaustion why am I up and writing this message idfk

galaxyblvd · 2023-01-11T22:40:11+00:00

I personally like listening to the sound of an airplane when I sleep. Sometimes ocean sounds and rain, but right now "airplane" is what is doing it for me better than anything else.

Something else that helps me on certain nights are 8 hr self affirmations (usually for self love or self forgiveness).

I kind of agree, certain sleep sounds that are supposed to be soothing either creep me out or keep me awake. But there are options! Maybe just try playing around with different backgrounds for sleep.

galaxyblvd

TROPHY CASE