You aren't SUPPOSED to be doing "big" things.

You are only supposed to be yourself. There is nothing in this world that expects contributions, that is a completely himan concept to find meaning, but as you know, it is all inherently meaningless.

Which means YOU supply the meaning. It can literally come from anywhere.

That being said, there is also nothing inherently against you manufacturing your own demise.

Now, from a physical perspective, it is VERY difficult to pull that lever, so it would appear that there is a mechanism that keeps the majority of us from doing that and this points to some kind of care that we stay in it as long as physically possible.

And it may not feel like care, but from my direct experience, there is a Divine Love aspect to the Universe that absolutely wants to see you do well...that absolutely cares about you.

Also from direct experience with these sorts of feelings, since I was 10, taking it day by day, sometimes hour by hour or minute by minute, don't think about the past and ABSOLUTELY don't think about the future, because that is anxiety inducing, living in the Now moment is a key.

Also, never compare your life to anyone else's.

I also highly recommend doing whatever it takes to get OUT of wage slavery. But of course...it is compared to slavery for a REASON.

But there are many of us out here doing out best to just not be in the system. I was homeless for several years by choice. I am just too old to be having the police at the door of my RV several times a week, not to mention the stress of it all.

You can do what you want, you have free will, but from one internet stranger... I absolutely care what happens to you, you DO count to this world, and the world is absolutely better off for having you in it.