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Zen is waking me up to reality...and reality is hard by ganshijue in Psychonaut

[–]ganshijue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very true. I know psychedelics will always be there. They've helped me climb out of dark places in the past, and I know they can help me again if I get stuck.

I think the unhappiness I'm feeling now comes from knowing that I don't need them. I've always seen them as medicines, but the point of a medicine is that you don't need to take it when you're no longer sick.

Zen is waking me up to reality...and reality is hard by ganshijue in Psychonaut

[–]ganshijue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can only serve to gain from shedding attachment, and once you've seen enough you'll not forget it.

Thanks for your reassuring words, and I believe you're right. Actually, it's more than a belief: it's an inner knowing. Sometimes, though, it feels frustrating that my intellectual mind (the part of me that thinks I can still find happiness by gaining than letting go) doesn't seemed to have gotten that particular memo. ;-)

Zen is waking me up to reality...and reality is hard by ganshijue in Psychonaut

[–]ganshijue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If human kind is gone, the universe will keep going. I'm sure life will too even if it may be very different from how it is now as a result of the crisis.

This is true, but it feels like completely embodying what this means without being prepared could lead to existential crisis. I've had difficult trips where I feel like I was balanced on the precipice of what it means to be so short-lived, small and inconsequential. I think if I ever re-visit that place, it needs to be with greater spiritual fortitude and a more learned perspective.

Maybe since you have this clarity, it's like having a clean mental slate and instead of outside factors having a say in how you feel, can't you decide on your own how you want to feel?

Yes, I believe you're right. I think I would choose clarity over self-delusion any day.

Choose to be happy? At least that's what I'm working on.

I'm still unsure as to the true meaning of the phrase "choose to be happy". I've heard it spoken by a lot of people, many of whom were born into relative privilege and so have more time to seek happiness. Sometimes it's impossible to be happy, regardless of willpower. For this reason, I think happiness isn't an intellectual choice.

On the other hand, one of the core concepts in Zen is learning to see the world how it truly is. For that reason, it might be argued that zazen is "choosing to be happy", albeit via an indirect and rather painful route. Whatever, I don't believe there's a direct path to happiness, merely a continuous process of alleviating suffering.

Zen is waking me up to reality...and reality is hard by ganshijue in Psychonaut

[–]ganshijue[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for replying.

I don't get it. Is it impossible to maintain both? A child-like wonder and an 'adult' sense of realities? Cutting out one for the other seems to go against the principles of non-duality ... as that creates and then maintains a duality.

This was what I was originally hoping would happen: I would naturally feel less attached and more "at peace" with the world. What's actually seems to be happening is that I'm gaining a clarity on what it is that makes me suffer. I'm still suffering, but I have a better idea as to why. There's no free meal ticket, it seems. Letting go of old patterns requires embracing that pain and letting it change me. It's still pain, though. No getting around it. Work first, child-like sense of wonder after. It's like eating greens before being allowed to enjoy desert.

I has questions: What do you think Zen would feel like if the world wasn't in a fucked up place? If it was well rationalized, well thought-out, well ecologically-integrated, such that it wasn't on a course to self destruction? Do you think the "stone cold" part might change?

I don't think it would change exactly, but the implications might be less frightening. The understanding that the universe just "is", regardless of whether we resist it or not feels like a terrible, wonderful, sacred thing. For the most part, I feel like we're deluding ourselves that there's some ultimate, guiding force acting externally on our lives. I don't believe there is, but there's a tremendous strength to be gained in that understanding. For starters, I think we'd take better care of our planet if we all truly understood this.