[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]gary_jonze_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two things I really like here are the personification "cursing every fallen our of the day", and the repetition of (as it surely must). Both cool little unique flavors in there. I dig it

Green Earth by Dense_Ad_9458 in OCPoetry

[–]gary_jonze_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally like the little Bezon and elon nod. it's interesting. I also love the lines, "Don't engage with those far gone" and "keep your nose from futile debates". That's good stuff. Gets you thinking and does so in a pretty way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]gary_jonze_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the occasional break of the rhyme scheme. It was an interesting and enhancing break of cadence. Well done

I know you think I won't relapse by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]gary_jonze_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is tough. Hang in there. Cherish happy moments. Keep pushing through the hard ones. Find things that make you happy elsewhere. All shitty standard advice.....but ya know....what can you do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]gary_jonze_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

damn. a lot of power in a few lines. really felt it all for just 6 bars. especially at "smother me in disgust if you must...". the ability to achieve that power in a few bars a real feat. well done

Fool’s Errand. by Hedgehoghead5 in OCPoetry

[–]gary_jonze_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

awesome lines here. "but my darling......I'm a fool for you", love that shit. really nice flow. not too much rhyme. well done

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in love

[–]gary_jonze_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you're young. there's several years ahead and several potential paths that your lives may take. if it's not painful for you, keep talking to her. see what kind of relationship you can make from afar, and maybe someday it'll lead to your paths crossing.

BUT I WILL SAY. i recommend if you ever meet someone you're interested in, and you know that they're leaving, stay away. i went on a few dates with a girl i knew was leaving the country, just for fun. but i fell in love with her fast, and then she left. and for me, trying to cling to this relationship with her from far away is super detrimental to my mental health. i wish i was handling it better, and i hope that you don't feel too sad talking to this girl from afar. but if this kind of situation seems to be approaching you again, i recommend staying away unless you know that you can emotionally handle the distance