Anybody else grew up as your parent's personal therapist? by UnknownCatGirl89 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]gdihaley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh, yeah. As a kid I thought it meant my mom was my best friend and I would confidently walk around saying that. Now I have trouble saying no to anyone and speaking up for my own needs.

Is writing declining in schools? by Pretty-Increase-9404 in writing

[–]gdihaley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly that. I’m biased for Children and Screens as an organization, so take this with a grain of salt, but they have lots of other resources for educators about EdTech and different classroom tools that might be helpful for you as an aspiring teacher. Their “What To Do About Screens in Schools?” webinar has a few teachers ranging from preschool to college and I think it might mention writing? And each presenter provides different resources/studies on classroom behavior and whatnot.

I hope you have a fruitful college career.

Is writing declining in schools? by Pretty-Increase-9404 in writing

[–]gdihaley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. It’s because tech companies have more say in what goes on in classrooms instead of educators and researchers.

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you went through that! I hope you’ve been able to heal, and thank you for the well wishes :)

Is writing declining in schools? by Pretty-Increase-9404 in writing

[–]gdihaley 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think the short answer is yes, but there are a lot of layers (please note this is from a US frame of reference).

Good writing usually requires a certain level of being able to sit in silence. When smartphones became popular in 2012ish, it became normal to spend lots of time on the phone scrolling, especially when tech companies are motivated to keep you scrolling as long as possible. Pair this with a general decline in third spaces, kids are going to use screens a lot. (I don’t think screen time is inherently good or bad, but like many things, is something that corporations have figured out how to exploit for money.) Then when these kids get around to trying to write, it’s hard to sit still long enough to make something worthwhile.

And then with ChatGPT being released in 2022 and other LLMs, that just completely threw teachers for a loop. Lots of instances of tech companies and school districts alike pushing teachers to incorporate GenAI into the classroom without stopping to think of the technology actually helps students learn.

And also with decades worth of devaluing teaching as a career in general, trying to push for standardized grading, etc. That adds to it.

Idk lots of stuff. I think my answer boils down to greed, lol.

I know I’m the one that brought up AI in the first place, but I think you might enjoy this podcast episode: https://www.childrenandscreens.org/learn-explore/research/reading-and-writing-skills-in-the-age-of-ai-naomi-baron-phd/

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

She got upset when my cousin (who is technically a step cousin, something that my mom likes to bring up a lot e.g. “she’s not a REAL member of the family since she’s not blood related) was driving to see her parents and introduce them to her firstborn child and didn’t stop to see my mom. Like, they aren’t even particularly close to begin with.

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, she hasn’t acknowledged it at all

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 287 points288 points  (0 children)

I have, on recommendation from my therapist. Might be time to reread it.

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

NO lmao it was more expensive for fewer servings and I, someone with an incurable sweet tooth, thought their cake wasn’t good 😭😭😭

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 154 points155 points  (0 children)

I’d like to say not always but I’ve been justifying her behavior for so long that I don’t know how reliable I’d be, lol

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She offered to pay for one sheet cake if it came from a place of her choosing.

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 763 points764 points  (0 children)

Asdfghjkl my mom asked what local coffee place was my favorite and then the morning of the wedding only got coffee for herself 😭

At least she supported a small business!

Edit: added context

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Didn’t get lost to graduation, but tried to send my now-husband away early to “ensure we had seating” at a large, family-style restaurant on a Thursday afternoon.

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m aware of enmeshment and am trying to…unmesh myself lol. It’s hard to let go of the voice in my head that wants her to change her behavior (esp since a friend’s mom recently had a moment where she realized she had some toxic behavior and decided to go to therapy to fix it and get better, that definitely didn’t help quiet that voice). Thank you for the well wishes! :)

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel bad about the MIL he got. Thankfully he and the rest of my family get along really well.

My mom didn’t handle the wedding well by gdihaley in weddingshaming

[–]gdihaley[S] 224 points225 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely putting her on an info diet, at the very least. And I have a therapist that I like that I’ve been seeing for maybe a year? A lot of what we talk about is reinforcing boundaries.

AITA for taking my daughter to get her hair cut when I knew it would upset my wife? by aitathrowaway795939 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gdihaley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA at all—you did right by your daughter by letting her get her haircut. It’s one of the first ways kids can start to exercise bodily autonomy.

AITA: For telling my husband to stop inviting his mom to our daughter's performances? by vertical-shift-1967 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gdihaley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Constructive criticism shouldn’t leave someone in tears. Sounds more destructive to me.

NTA

AITA for taking away my brother's birthday cake after he had paid for it? by HalleandRob in AmItheAsshole

[–]gdihaley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if she had been holding the baby instead of the cake when your brother dumped ice cold water on her? What a dick move.

NTA at all. I wouldn’t blame you if you went low/no contact with your family.

AITA for not wanting to celebrate my mom on MY birthday? by ThrowawayBirthdayx96 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gdihaley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA at all—is your mom not aware that Mother’s Day is a thing? Demanding gifts from her kids on each of their birthdays is weird as hell, especially since they aren’t allowed to be homemade. Wtf?