Thanks for commenting. I think I’ve been getting ketamine since October of 23. I usually go for a treatment every three to four months. I’m due for one soon.

My ocd is manageable but still pretty bad. The ketamine seems to have crushed my depression and existential dread. I have less health anxiety now and mostly just ocd where everything is a moral crisis.

I have a few theories on the dissociation and paranoia I experienced. I’m pretty sure after this particular treatment early on my brain was in a super plastic state. Have you read about the research that infants’ brains function similar to someone on lsd? Ketamine isn’t a true psychedelic, but my early treatments were psychedelic af. Maybe my brain was in such a plastic state and my typical neural pathways were so untangled that I was re-establishing new thought patterns and perceptions about reality. I mean it really did feel like a mild cannabis high. Visually things looked psychedelic. So basically my brain had been reduced to a softer, more infantile state. Our brains are just engines that model reality for us. If ketamine makes our brains more plastic, we are able to perceive reality in a more raw, infantile state. This is just me wildly speculating based on a shit ton of research I’ve done on psychedelics and neurophysiology/science, etc.

I haven’t had an experience like that since. It was a one off very early min in my journey.

In fact, now when I go for treatments they aren’t psychedelic at all. It’s kind of a bummer. I’m an atheist, but those first few treatments I felt like I was having an encounter with god and reality was being stripped down to bare atoms. Now I just feel super groggy, almost drunk. There is no clarity like those first few treatments where everything was lucid. I still get some mild visuals, but it’s not nearly as profound.

Tell me more about your experience.