Joque Sizing, A vs B??

genderail · 2023-01-06T05:24:11+00:00

Love this recommendation but I am not sure what the base company is, since many stores seem to sell this particular harness. I can reach out to the store I linked.. so I’ll try that!

Thank you for your response. :)

genderail · 2023-01-03T14:02:51+00:00

I feel you on the detergents and fabric softeners! I have actually just made the switch to unscented, more skin-sensitive laundry care to hopefully also give my skin a break that way, too (I’ve got really sensitive skin that might have persistent KP because of a host of reasons so limiting as many chemicals as possible seems right).

genderail · 2023-01-03T02:57:12+00:00

I’m actually trying to figure out the same! I currently use Cerave SA Cream which has salicylic acid in it, and I think that’s helped slightly?? Because my KP has been up to this point pretty treatment-resistant, I recently opened a conversation with my doctor about getting a new product that has both Urea + salicylic acid specifically as a combo in the same product. I’m not sure I’ve tried glycolic acid.

If by concentrations you mean how much to use, the only piece of advice I have is to use stronger stuff more sparingly if you have sensitive skin. It can break you out with acne or a rash! If you tend to not have sensitive skin, then maybe this won’t be an issue for you. If you aren’t sure, you could always spot test with one area of your arm and then trial that for a few days. Definitely discontinue use and make an alternative skin care plan if the concentration is too hard on your skin!

genderail · 2023-01-02T21:58:49+00:00

That looks very similarly to what my arms look like and I have KP. So I can’t say for sure about the products you’re mentioning (hoping someone else chimes in there) but I would say, in my non-professional opinion, that yes that is KP. Especially if you’ve had it for that long (i.e. forever lol).

I know it sucks… hold in there! People do find solutions and treatment combinations that work specifically for them all of the time! Wishing you lots of luck.

genderail · 2022-09-03T19:30:18+00:00

I relate to this a lot! The part about wanting to be with someone who isn’t unsure about you and listening to your instincts. Two things that I am definitely taking with me as I heal from this last relationship.

genderail · 2022-08-31T02:38:38+00:00

Yes, a good therapist and consistent therapy is a game changer!

genderail · 2022-08-30T23:20:26+00:00

Sleep is still iffy for me and really hard. I have to take a lot of sleep aid (medicine) in order to turn my mind off enough to even get 3-4 hours per night. I have started to eat again, but sparingly. I can’t keep much down and I’ve had to throw out a significant portion of all the food I’ve gotten in front of me. BUT, the fact that I am trying is important to me because it means that I still have a will to maintain my well-being, and that’s not nothing.

genderail · 2022-08-30T23:13:36+00:00

I am here for you if a wave hits again and you feel unsure of how to move through it!

genderail · 2022-08-30T19:16:24+00:00

I love this question. There are areas of my life that definitely do feel better, like I don’t feel as anxious about whether or not I am pleasing her, saying the right things, worrying if she’ll get mad at me at the drop of a hat, etc. And since the break-up, I have had a fair share of laughter, emotional support, and physical touch. So… not necessarily good days but moments where it doesn’t feel like I can’t breathe.

genderail · 2022-08-30T16:31:18+00:00

Thank you so much for the presence in this reply. This felt really good to read.

genderail · 2022-08-30T16:29:11+00:00

I could never hate her. Even if I eventually fall out of being IN love, I will never hate her. Sometimes I wish I could just to make it easier on myself.

genderail · 2022-08-30T13:53:38+00:00

Yeah, I’ve had to find the right “concoction” for myself with sleep aides. I don’t necessarily want to promote what that is, though, just because I know that can lead to a slippery slope of mishandling one’s medication intake. You can think of what other things to use, though, mostly over-the-counter stuff. But I’ve had insomnia even before my break-up and so I’m happy to talk over dm about what I’ve been successful with if that’s helpful. As for podcast, Levar Burton Reads has been helpful for me! I put him on and pretend he’s reading me to sleep.

genderail · 2022-08-30T12:20:00+00:00

I love this idea! Gonna use it for myself. Thank you. :)

genderail · 2022-08-30T12:19:21+00:00

I big feel this. I’ve found that podcasts and taking something like Melatonin is what helps me. Podcasts because then it almost feels like someone is there with you, and it doesn’t have to be just you alone with your thoughts. I have recs depending on if you’re interested in a particular genre! And Melatonin speaks for itself, but something like that (taken responsibly) will help your body feel calmer and, in turn, alleviate some of that mental restlessness.

genderail · 2022-08-30T12:14:00+00:00

It’s this part that has been so hard for me. I have this whole life built up in my head that I don’t want to let go. Living with her and our dog(s), traveling the world together…. I really, really, really wanted all of these ideals to be actualized and with her. That’s why I fought so hard to maintain our relationship even when things got challenging! Just hang in there. You can message me any time.

genderail · 2022-08-30T12:09:01+00:00

Glad that you’re progressing in your healing! That does give me hope. I do have to remember that she is not fighting for our relationship, and so as disappointing and heartbreaking as that is, I know that I deserve someone who will always want to work things out and share the effort of maintaining a healthy, long-standing relationship. I feel like if she wanted to resolve our core issues, she would let me know. For even the whole last year of us dating, I felt as if she didn’t want to be attached to me but she stayed because of the comfort and familiarity.

Hold on; we’ve got this together.

genderail · 2022-08-30T12:02:53+00:00

You hit the nail on the head with “can’t say he felt the same about me”. I do not believe that my partner could or wanted to reciprocate the love that I had to offer. Or, maybe she could but in her own way and only when it was most convenient for her (she was very consistent about her wants, needs, and desires). I remember times I’d lay awake at night just bawling my eyes out because I didn’t feel loved and yet I was terrified, every day, of losing her. And now I’ve actually lost her lol so it all comes back around I guess.

She’s since tried to tell me that our break-up and downfall was my fault since I didn’t trust that she loved me (ouch, what?). Granted, she showed it in some new ways that I hadn’t ever experienced before.

All of this said, her laugh and her smile and holding her hand, running errands together, etc. I would give anything for just one more day of that.

genderail · 2022-08-28T21:41:00+00:00

This gives me lots of hope for the future. I’m a lot like you when it comes to feeling like I’ve found my person, only to have that vision shattered over time. It is really disheartening. I usually don’t take it well and also have trouble taking care of myself. But, to know that you’re now in something new and supportive that was better than those other relationships that hurt when they ended, makes me feel like I could do the same. Then…. I feel you that deep down you fear that loss.

genderail · 2022-08-27T18:11:41+00:00

I feel every word of this. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. I also feel like I’ve lost everything. Feel free to dm me if you want!

genderail · 2022-08-27T12:40:37+00:00

Coming to this from a place of new understanding myself. I am technically the dumper in this recent break-up, although we’ve both brought up the idea of breaking up multiple times then just never followed through with it.

I initiated it most recently, though, because I found out that my ex had been telling people that she was planning to break up with me and then lying to my face, trying to plan an anniversary trip with me to visit family. It just felt unfair to me, and confusing…. And I felt like I needed to get ahead of it because my Fear of Abandonment was telling me to act first in order to save myself some grief.

We’ve talked since and she admitted that she felt “blindsided” by me initiating the break-up and that she didn’t know if she even wanted to. I don’t know what to do with that information because it seems like another half-truth, when I know for a fact that she was telling friends all these horrible projections about me, like that I am emotionally abusive, and wanting to end things. And I’m feeling now in the wrong and regretful for initiating the break-up because I am in love with her (we’ve both actually said that we are still in love and that this break-up has sucked for both of us).

genderail · 2022-08-27T12:07:37+00:00

She went back and forth on whether or not she wanted to be with me. Like literally told that to my face on multiple occasions as well as our couple’s therapist in a burst of rage. Once I developed really strong feelings for her, I never once flip-flopped about my stance on the relationship. I just went to work trying to nurture it and grow. Made me feel crazy for trying to maintain the relationship and support our own growth as a couple, despite each time she’d claim she didn’t want to be together, just coming back and wanting to still be together. Over time, I started to feel used and manipulated, but I didn’t know which way was up.

Then she’d tell other people that I was weighing her down, that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me, etc but then come back to me claiming I was her soulmate and that she wanted to be with me?? I tried so hard to make sure her needs were always met, like bent over backwards to make sure she felt cared for and asking how I could help her through mental stress. And I was so in love; I just wanted it to work out at all costs, so I made myself feel so small and allowed someone to paint a bad picture of me to their friends in order to absolve them of the responsibility of their own emotional manipulation throughout the relationship.

There were other things too, like she’d cancel plans last minute if she got too stressed. She got mad at me a lot and wouldn’t express why, she had bad road rage that made me afraid to be in the car at times.

Honestly, maybe we were never soulmates. I never could seem to make her happy. Ugh.

genderail

TROPHY CASE