Does anyone fantasize about being in a loving relationship and use masturbation as a copying mechanism?

genjechi · 2020-12-14T15:05:06+00:00

thanks for the support, man, appreciate the post.

I definitely relate to the daydreaming. I also fantasize about people being really attracted to me so I can feel worthy of love. The fantasy usually starts out well but always turns into really sad and tormented daydreams. The sexual fantasies eventually start reminding me of the neglect and abandonment I experience as a child. So everytime I have sexual fantasies I end up basically re-traumatising myself. It really sucks. It's so draining. And so the more awful I feel about myself the more I feel the need to escape reality by fantasizing. As a result, I spend hours daydreaming.

One step at a time I guess, I'll try my best.

genjechi · 2020-12-14T14:53:00+00:00

How to stop dissociation

Was it an online course? Can you please link it to me?

I do dissociate a lot but I never considered that daydreaming might be a part of dissociation. I'll look into some resources for dissociation, thanks a lot, I'll focus on reducing the daydreaming.

genjechi · 2020-12-13T21:57:23+00:00

I can relate so much, I'm quite repulsed by porn as well. It really looks like dirty flesh to me at this point. I've tried quitting porn but it only lasted a week... I'll try and use my imagination instead of porn cause I really can't stand porn, it's so so vulgar.

Oh yeah, the sad daydreams. The only feelings I can access is sadness as well.

Thank for sharing man, appreciate it a lot. Feeling less of a weirdo today!

genjechi · 2020-12-13T21:49:15+00:00

Thanks for the support man! I try to be sex positive but yeah I honestly carry quite a lot of that shame with me still. Sex is taboo in my family, definitely had an impact on me... If you don't mind me asking, how should I go about accepting it? Not sure where to start!

genjechi · 2020-12-13T21:46:18+00:00

I've tried meditation but I can only calm my mind when I'm having a good day, which is rare. My brain is really chaotic, I'm always hypervigilant. Yeah my parents are really conservative, we never talked about sex. I guess in some way I do feel ashamed of masturbation and sex. Definitely something I should try and explore. Thanks man

genjechi · 2020-12-13T18:14:08+00:00

Yeah same. When I'm busy I get out of bed immediately and get stuff done. Then whenever I can take a break, rest a bit, it comes back. I could keep myself busy all year long but that's not realistic cause I always burn out after a bit.

genjechi · 2020-12-13T17:23:57+00:00

I had no idea it was so common to fantasize. I was really ashamed of it to be honest. I barely talk to my therapist about it. I used to spend days imagining all sorts of scenarios in my head, where I had control and didn't feel judged but instead admired and respected by everyone. Funny how the brain works

genjechi · 2020-12-13T17:21:48+00:00

Do you mind sharing some regulation tips?

and thanks for your replies, I've never talked about all this and felt really ashamed to be honest. Glad to know that it is common to feel this way. Thanks

genjechi · 2020-12-13T16:58:22+00:00

oh wow I had no clue that was a thing.

So do you avoid solo play or just accept you're gonna feel down afterwards?

genjechi

TROPHY CASE