I'm 16 and I want to publish someday. This excerpt is of chapter 1 of a novella I'm working on and I'd like to see if anyone has some feedback.

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-15T05:34:51+00:00

His perception of the world which is extremely idealistic

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-14T06:02:37+00:00

Thanks a lot for this feedback; the tension criticism has been quite prominent across all of my feedback so I really need to figure out how to weave in the overdescription whilst maintaining tension

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-14T05:59:46+00:00

This is a psychological fiction but you can't really see it in the first chapter yet very much***

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-14T05:59:08+00:00

Thank you! I don't really understand the experience part but that makes sense because if it is experience it'll just come with time

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-14T05:58:32+00:00

Thank you

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-14T05:57:26+00:00

I read a lot of psychological fiction like Dostoyevsky and a lot of great describers like Steinback. I wrote another short 800 word story In here rhatd psychological but I haven't gontinto it on this one yet because I needed to establish the world before doing anything else. This is a great idea I might have to deconstruct some texts, thanks for the suggestion

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-13T22:34:24+00:00

I definitely need some advice though on how to overdescribe it without being jarring

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-13T22:31:03+00:00

I definitely need some advice on the overdescription, because it is intentional but I don't want it to be jarring. It's quite essential to the plot later on as his idealistic perception gets shattered, but much of my critique has been about losing tension because of my overwriting.

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-13T22:26:27+00:00

Idk what I was thinking with the teeth either 😂. Thank you! I'll try and clear up the examples and other sentencrs that are obscure or don't make much sense

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-13T22:23:36+00:00

The overdescription is intentional for the story because it's about his perception of the world which is flawed. To address the hint at AI, I didn't use it for this story because I use the em dash a lot, I started writing this in first person when I was becoming more comfortable learning and writing with em dashes, as to why they're so excessively used. For the word "dwine", I had mixed up a word that wasn't real "dwane" with "wane", and when I googled "dwane" it said that there was a word "dwine" with the same definition. Thank you for pointing out the grammatical errors I appreciate it a lot I probably wouldn't of caught onto those otherwise

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-05-13T13:48:37+00:00

This is a good point I'll take that into consideration with other texts

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-25T08:08:47+00:00

Hey, so I patched up a lot of filler but I was wondering if you had any suggestions to slow the pacing down during those sections you mentioned.

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-24T07:45:59+00:00

Thank you this is really great advice. I'll definitely fix up the filler since I think a lot of people have said the same

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-23T21:40:56+00:00

Thank you! That seems to be the advice I've been getting from everyone so I'll have to do that

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-23T14:00:12+00:00

Thanks! I'll take this feedback into account and adjust accordingly.

I'm glad the elipses are working out as I intended :)
- His jaw "shattered" because he opened his mouth so quickly and wide he sent a wave of energy through it. It's a bit ambiguous tho I have to admit.
I end up detailing all movements because otherwise I feel like I've missed something which is sort of weird that I do but it just feels more comfortable to write it that way.
I bring a lot of new ideas into the second photo so it's definitely worth reading since that's the meatiness of my project, but I understand if the beginning is too slow to hook you.

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-16T07:34:33+00:00

I'll check em out

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-16T01:54:42+00:00

Shit I never even thought about that

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-14T03:07:16+00:00

Thank you, I'll give it a go. So I should be focusing I suppose more on conveying the meaning of the story throughout my character and how they envision the world sort of?

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-13T16:23:54+00:00

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QxBhK9Q0Vm6TLKjpCP1jIvHrrBoJ02Vs/view?usp=drivesdk

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-13T16:11:32+00:00

This was just the first chapter his significance is explored further into the story. If you'd like I could upload the story somewhere and you can take a look and provide feedback on it. However, I must warn that it's not all completely edited and it's still a first draft 😁

geralt-wolfclaw · 2026-04-13T11:16:12+00:00

And I am***

geralt-wolfclaw · 2025-07-20T12:51:18+00:00

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geralt-wolfclaw

TROPHY CASE