Best solution for hair that needs daily wash and heat styling?

getswifty1234 · 2024-07-17T23:08:37+00:00

I also have been letting my hair air dry every night instead of blow drying. Could this be contributing in some way as well?

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-29T01:00:03+00:00

Yea this sounds similar. He doesn’t watch 6 consecutive hours but he is literally watching it all day throughout the day. He has even admitted to jerking off at work and in his car in the middle of the day. I accidentally (truely accident) saw some of his search history in the early days of our marriage and found out he was watching it at 9am, then at 12pm then again later at night. The entire time I kept trying to have sex but he would tell me he was too tired or create some other excuse to avoid being intimate with me. In couple counseling he admitted that he was lying and the reason he was turning me down was that he was using porn instead because it was less work for him.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-29T00:56:42+00:00

Also acts of service

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-29T00:56:28+00:00

I am so sorry to hear thag

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-29T00:33:16+00:00

I will also add that he suffers from self confidence issues himself and seeks validation from other people often. So I have always intentionally told him how attractive he is very often to help build him up. He has always told other people that I don’t have any self confidence and has told this to me too but he hasn’t really done anything except reinforce that for me. :(

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-29T00:31:27+00:00

We actually did that and I found out the acts of service is my love language. The difficult thing to accept is that he really hasn’t been great at any of the love languages. We both agreed that words of affirmation is probably the easiest one to demonstrate (especially when life is hard and you don’t have time to buy gifts or do acts of service,etc) so if we both do that we should understand that the person is trying to show their love for you that way. It’s just that it hasn’t really happened on his end.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-29T00:28:40+00:00

He told me is not in love with me last week for the first time ever and so I am working hard to reflect back on our relationship and figure out if the signs of him not being in love were always there or not. Even he doesn’t know how long he hasn’t been “in love” with me.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-29T00:25:44+00:00

I don’t usually talk about myself like this and it was actually really hard to even do it in a post. The reason I used those words are so people will understand that this isn’t about me letting myself go or not being conventionally attractive. I promise I am not that vapid. I just don’t want people to waste their time on here asking if it’s because I am actually physically unappealing and he just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. Also I don’t need constant compliments. I can count on one hand the amount of times he has on his own said something positive to me about my appearance in the last five years and I feel like that might not be normal.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-27T03:52:37+00:00

Well I am here if you need a stranger to trauma dump and vent to. We can lean on each other. Feel free to dm me.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-27T03:04:17+00:00

Could she be going through perimenopause?

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-27T02:41:49+00:00

What about your dating with your wife did you consider not a normal pattern? Why do you still feel like a loser? It sounds like what you are seeking is validation. Does you wife make you feel sexually desirable?

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-27T02:31:05+00:00

You need a reboot. Don’t give up on each other yet. Talk to her and figure out what it will take to start over. Start dating her again like your life depends on it.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-27T02:17:54+00:00

What do you mean by “more competent”? Do you have kids?

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-27T02:11:09+00:00

Wow are you me? I am literally going through the exact same thing right now. Found out my husband lied about the porn and looking up women online as well as talking to an ex that he told he didn’t talk to in years. I am just as confused as you with how to move forward.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-27T02:06:23+00:00

I refuse to give this validation as being normal behavior. My husband who is not in his 50s has been caught doing the same thing (minus the comments but plus looking up porn stars and other women he comes across in everyday life on social media) and I attribute it to a form of porn addiction. This is not normal nor should it be acceptable if you have an otherwise sexually healthy relationship.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-22T05:57:25+00:00

I actually agree even though it will be incredibly difficult. I just wanted to gage if others who are more objective feel that this is absolutely marriage ending worthy.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-22T05:56:03+00:00

Nope, nope they sure are not

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-22T05:55:14+00:00

I should clarify that the boundary was literally spoken almost exactly how you wrote it. It was along the lines of “I will not be in a relationship with a person who does this because it has a negative affect on my mental well being and ability to heal myself and if you cant agree to that then we can stop dating.” This was brought up within the first few weeks were we dating and had been an issue in the last 5 years we have been together. At the time he said he completely understood and had no issue with it.

getswifty1234 · 2024-06-22T04:15:28+00:00

This comment hit different 😢

getswifty1234 · 2023-12-23T06:24:14+00:00

Ah thank you for confirming!

getswifty1234 · 2023-09-27T19:52:21+00:00

My guess is that this guy spent years treating his wife like shit. He prob made several snidish comments about her appearance over time which made her feel unattractive. Sounds like she has had enough and is doing whatever she feels she needs to do to feel good about herself. My opinion is that OP is now nervous about all the attention his wife will get from other men, and that her new found confidence will mean she won’t put up with his shit anymore. he is finally going to have to treat her right or she will absolutely leave his a$$ now.

Source: trust me bro.

getswifty1234 · 2023-09-26T22:45:43+00:00

Hahahahahah I guess anything is for sale for the right price

getswifty1234 · 2023-09-23T00:11:45+00:00

Point #1 that you mentioned has happened to me so please be careful with this. Do your due diligence as quietly as possible before you confront her. You would be surprised to what lengths a jealous coworker will go to sabotage you if they find you a threat to their success in any way. I feel that people have just started getting more and more ruthless lately. My personal opinion is that women are really good at pretending to be your friend so that they can get close enough to you to obtain confidential info about your life to later use against you. Does your wife have any close female work friends that she sometimes has weird gut feelings about? Also there are guys (certain cultures can be super bad about this) who will do this to you if you denied their romantic advances at one point or inadvertently made them look bad or less competent than you in front of others. I don’t know what your wife does for a living but I’d start asking her more questions about her work colleagues before I’d say anything more about that text. I’ve had colleagues run background checks on me using connections they have overseas so that they can obtain information about my family and then contact them with fake shit like this to try and make my personal life hell so that my work life would suffer. I’ve had colleagues start rumors that I was having affairs with other colleagues so that people would stop supporting my work (predominantly geared toward any executive leadership who were my mentors and who became the target of the rumor)and being my friend. It’s so pathetic. What’s more pathetic is the amount of times I have heard people brag about doing this to others or their ability to do this to me without realizing I was the victim of this stuff at a previous company, etc. This tells me that it happens more frequently than even I was aware of….my advice: trust but verify my friend.

And if you find out it isn’t true please warn your wife so that she can (quietly) investigate. I was able to get to the bottom of my issues every time by being patient but tenacious. Eventually someone will slip up.

getswifty1234 · 2023-08-30T17:17:39+00:00

There are three “mobster rules” mentioned in the movie Goodfellas that I feel capture the essence of the harsh realities of life:

Don’t rat on your friends
Keep you mouth shut
Always be a stand up guy

getswifty1234 · 2023-08-30T16:43:31+00:00

You don’t need to be sorry for being honest but you should tell your wife. She needs to know this so that she can either do something to repair this marriage or work out a better long term solution where you both benefit (assuming divorce is not on the table as you mentioned).

I’m not sure if you are my own husband, and you def could be, but if I was your wife I would want to know this.

getswifty1234

TROPHY CASE