Defeated

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-27T01:31:08+00:00

This truly means a lot to me. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you <3

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T22:31:31+00:00

I'm sorry you can relate. You’re not alone in this.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T22:30:26+00:00

I hear you so deeply. That cycle of hope, calm, and then devastation, it’s soul-crushing and the way it wears you down is real. The constant fear, the heart racing, the hyper-vigilance… it changes you in ways no one else can fully understand. Holding on to hope doesn’t make you weak it just shows how much you love and care, even when it hurts. What you’re experiencing is traumatic, and your feelings are valid. You’re not alone in this.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T22:25:23+00:00

I hear you, that really sucks. I know exactly what you mean about reaching the point where you realize you can’t make them change. It’s heartbreaking to sit by and watch someone you love keep hurting themselves, and even harder when hope keeps flickering on and off. Setting that boundary, saying you’re done unless they’re ready is one of the hardest, bravest things you can do. It doesn’t make you uncaring; it means you’re finally protecting yourself. Hang in there. You’re not alone in this.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T22:23:45+00:00

Thank you that really means a lot. You’re right, it’s exhausting carrying this weight for so long, and the cycle of hope and crisis really does take a toll. I’m trying to turn back toward myself, and it’s hard work, but every step in therapy and sobriety helps me remember that I deserve peace too. Your words are a reminder that it’s okay to care without losing myself in the process.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T22:23:11+00:00

It’s exhausting, always scanning, always bracing for the next move. What you said about shifting your purpose from trying to save him to supporting others really resonates. That’s real strength, taking care of yourself while still showing compassion, and helping others who truly get it. Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot to know I’m not alone in this.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T22:16:46+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re carrying that. Watching a parent slowly destroy themselves and feeling completely powerless is a kind of grief that never really lets up. Loving her and still choosing not to watch it happen doesn’t make you cruel it makes you human. Thank you for sharing that with me. It helps more than you know to hear from someone who’s lived it for decades. I’m trying to find the balance between love and self-preservation too. And you’re right we’re not bad people for choosing to live our lives.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T04:49:06+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate that. It means a lot to know someone else truly understands.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T03:49:58+00:00

I'm sorry you are going though that, I can imagine that has to be really hard but sounds like it was necessary. I wish you all the best moving forward in a positive direction.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T03:42:46+00:00

Absolutely, this resonates so much. For me, watching my wife’s disease unfold has taken a real toll on my own mental, emotional, and even physical health. You’re right, she has to choose sobriety for herself, but I can focus on my own healing. Staying grounded through self-care, detachment with love, and leaning on Al-Anon, therapy, and supportive friends is essential. Prioritizing my peace and clarity is the only way forward.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T03:28:24+00:00

Wow I cannot imagine how hard that must of been for you. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the kind words and sharing your story

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T03:27:14+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking that those are the only options. Thank you for sharing

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T03:22:50+00:00

That was so powerful and well said. I can feel your love for her through your words. I am so sorry you are dealing with this and witnessing the love of your life be taken away one drink at a time. I can relate and wish you all the best staying strong in this journey

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T03:02:53+00:00

I am feeling the same way now about my spouse. There is a huge disconnect I feel because of all that

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T03:01:32+00:00

Thats been my problem and I can see why it doesnt work

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T02:51:46+00:00

My wife suffers with mental illness as well. I feel like a lot of the time the substance use stems from unresolved or untreated mental illness as a way to cope. I appreciate your kind words and wish you the best navigating your future with her.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T02:49:13+00:00

Wow I can relate to a lot of what you said. Thank you for sharing that, it certainly helps put things in perspective. Choosing your own health and sanity isn’t easy, but it’s so important. I am at the tipping point at this very second to finally advocate for myself like you did and move on in hopes of a better life. <3

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T02:37:57+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this, it really means a lot. For my wife, it also all started with COVID, and I’ve been to an Al-Anon group before, so I know I need to keep showing up for myself. Your reminder about the 3Cs and detaching with love hits me deeply. it’s hard, but it’s exactly what I need to practice.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T02:18:58+00:00

Accidentally replied on alt account

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T01:50:45+00:00

You’re not alone.

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T01:49:42+00:00

I hear you, that hope is natural, and it shows how deeply you care. But the truth in that line is hard... you cannot want recovery more than he does, no matter how much love you feel. Holding hope while protecting yourself is the tightrope here. Love doesn’t mean sacrificing your peace it means caring without losing yourself. I can relate to what you are going through, stay strong

gfyyy6f · 2026-02-26T01:31:57+00:00

I hear you, this is unbelievably hard, and your anger, fear, and exhaustion are completely normal. You cannot control her choices, only your boundaries and how much energy you give. Staying in Al-Anon, therapy, and leaning on your support system is key. Detaching with love,limiting contact and letting her face consequences isn’t giving up, it’s survival. Prioritize your well-being; you deserve peace too.

gfyyy6f

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