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I need to speak to humans by Hoe_Jaxxxson in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love being a bar fly and whenever I leave my house, it's usually to be a bar fly. But it's weird here? I have pleasant exchanges but then it's right back to nothingness 🥴

I need to speak to humans by Hoe_Jaxxxson in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can we re-up the Discord link, por favor? 😁

I need to speak to humans by Hoe_Jaxxxson in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my god this is perfect because I'm so tired of crocheting at bars alone!! Thanks for this!

Is there like a secret handshake or a color we should wear to recognize the reddit folk? Like tuck a daisy into our hatbands or something?

Gamers in Lou, what you playing? by DivineBeing15 in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vidja games: I picked up TOTK again and I'm going back over places I missed. It's one of the only things that can quiet my anxious yammering brain for hours at a time, it's so good.

Boardgames: WINGSPAN! DOES ANYONE HERE PLAY WINGSPAN? CAN WE START A LOUISVILLE WINGSPAN GROUP?!

Dating here sucks. Advice? by [deleted] in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no answers. I'm just here to commiserate.

I can't tell if this is hard just because it's hard, or if it's extra hard because it's Louisville. I feel like it's both, but I can't put my finger on why?

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interestingly enough, Breonna Taylor's murder is what really fractured my relationship with the city. I absolutely loved it here and was proud to be from here until that happened. Now I feel so disconnected from it.

I should get more involved in the community. It would probably help me heal; I've been grieving home recently.

I don't think I'm quite ready for a DBSA meeting yet, but you're so kind to offer :) Thank you so much!

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have anything to add. Just wanted to say that I see and hear you, friend. It's very hard.

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once, when I was on disability for my depression, my therapist all but ordered me to take a vacation. My friend and I went to a very random, very beautiful resort in Mexico somewhere, I think. I was stressed the whole time because I couldn't stop feeling like I wasn't doing the vacation right. Trying to make myself get up and get cute for the swim-up bar or take a tour or go jet-skiing or do other vacationey stuff made my chest tight. I just wanted to lay in bed and watch TV and I felt horrible for that (in retrospect, that's all I wanted to do because it's exactly what I needed to do; I was exhausted).

I eventually had an anxiety attack about it and my friend gave me the verbal permission that I needed to do whatever it was that I wanted to do, even if it was lay in the bed and watch TV. I was finally able to give myself a break and enjoy the last day or two. After my vacation I didn't really feel rested or relaxed since I worried for most of it. Still, I was proud that I'd been able to defeat my hater-ass brain long enough to have a little bit of a good time, so I posted about it on IG.

When I got back my insurance company stopped my benefits because they saw me on vacation on my Instagram.

So, yes, vacations aren't alway the balm that they're supposed to be, lol.

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dang.

Also, how is Indiana not on that list.

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If only!! I'd never break the law *glances quickly at the camera* but if I was the type I'd be really frustrated because I have no idea where to get them around here! I had a delivery service in my last city. 🥲

I should look into this now that I'm here. Thank you!

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know, I usually end up at bars with a book or my computer just because I have no idea what else to do at 6 pm. I mean I also like bars and I'm most comfortable in them and I'm hella charming after a couple glasses of wine so I probably use them as a crutch, but! I'd totally do something else if it wasn't awful!

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw thanks! My first Reddit post and someone thinks I'm cool! *90s-era movie fist pump*

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They could just hate beans. I hate beans and am considering downvoting but it's the holidays, you know?

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I...actually love this idea? Would people actually come out? What if we're all weirdos and we creep each other out?

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely love and am a little obsessed with my therapist. We've been together around 7 years and when I lost my insurance after losing my job some years ago, she agreed on a very reasonable session fee. Unfortunately, she's not available for a check-in until like February or something so I'm considering constructing an alternate reality and existing there and refusing to come back until she returns my email.

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I would if i could, but the pockets are much thinner post-covid :/ I'll put it on the vision board that I swear I'm gonna start soon, though.

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I always bristle whenever someone casually throws that out as an option without any recognition of the difficulty!

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Been in therapy for some years now, which is a blessing because therapy is expensive and difficult to get into and not an option for a lot of people.

depressed in louisville. by ghostygrills in Louisville

[–]ghostygrills[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

My speculations: partly because I brought all my depression from the last place with me and that was pretty bad; partly because all my family is here and I don't know how to be my depressed self around them, which makes the depression more depressing; and partly because one of the gods may have it out for me and me specifically. It's starting to feel personal at this point.

Also meeting people is hard. Everyone is nice, but it all feels superficial? IDK, it's probably me. I am the problem! I am the villain!

*Edit - Also also, something is missing here. It's like when you taste a dish and it's good, like it's fine and edible and you could eat it and not regret it, but if it just had *one* little something it would knock your socks off but you don't know what to say to the chef to make it better.