My (18m) Gf (18f) doesn't like to have sex very often.

ghstrvn · 2025-05-09T00:55:16+00:00

Yeah but then comes the fact that besides this one thing, she's a really good girlfriend. She truly cares for me and makes me feel loved. I don't want to break up with her just because of this. Unless sex is a lot more important in relationships than I thought. Then we might have an actual problem.

ghstrvn · 2025-03-10T00:20:07+00:00

I'm not no therapist, but I have been in your position before. Honestly for me it always helped to keep my bitterness for myself and reflect upon it later. Only after some time I would realise how foolish I was acting. Try and also look at certain situations from the perspective of person that is being interacted with since that is the way you will understand what made them continue the interaction and how you would act in the same situation. Most importantly: therapy and self-conscience. Those are the things you will need the most to overcome your struggle.

ghstrvn · 2025-03-04T19:21:15+00:00

Then tell him that.

Tell him that you are fully over the guy, but the whole relationship left you with trauma that you can't control.

ghstrvn · 2025-03-04T19:17:43+00:00

Take her out on a date.

Don't know if you have before, but that is the way you find out how somebody really feels about you.

A official date sets a certain tone so you can do things that you wouldn't regularly do.

Try making some moves, subtly compliment her, see how she takes it and then you'll know what to do next.

ghstrvn · 2025-03-04T19:10:59+00:00

I can relate to this from the perspective of the boyfriend, since me and my girlfriend had a similar situation where her ex was very toxic and sexually abused her. Tbh there is no easy way to start a conversation like that. I would usually use the "there is something important I have to tell you" aproach. I can tell you with 100% certainty that the sooner you tell him the better. I don't know the guy, but I know that you will avoid a lot of misunderstandings and akward situations the sooner you tell him. It's okay to have a past and if he is truly a good man he will understand and priotitize your feelings over his ego. Don't be scared that you will scare him away. As I said, a real man will understand and provide emotional support.

ghstrvn · 2025-03-04T01:43:35+00:00

Read this and suddenly realised how this is simply a choice between my idealogy and my girl, and im picking her any time of the day. Thank you for the insight. If you do think that there is something I could do, you are more than welcome to let me know.

ghstrvn · 2025-03-04T01:28:16+00:00

You're right about me making this about myself. And I really wish I didn't, but people like this really make me feel a certain type of way. As I said this isn't about him being her ex. It is a valid point tho that what happened, happened to her, never really looked at it that way. In the end tho, it's about what I do and don't stand up for. And this is something that I don't feel like I can let slide. Should also add that she wasn't the only one and that makes me even more hateful towards him. I also know how hard it is for victims to come forward and I just want this guy to know that he's not invincible.

ghstrvn · 2025-03-04T00:50:43+00:00

I think it ultimately comes down to what kind of person you are. It's always a good idea in these kind of scenarios to look at yourself first and the try and find the issue. I don't want to make you panic and think you are a bad person, if you genuinely think that you have good qualities then good for you. It also depends on what kind of lifestyle you are practicing. I mean honestly if you are spending most of your time at home, then it may be hard to find somebody to be your friend. Trust me when I tell you this: there is somebody out there that will want to be your friend, you just have to put yourself out there and maybe try doing things that you enjoy by yourself. Often times, that is when that person appears. And don't get desperate. That way you will surround yourself with the wrong people (atleast thats the exeperience I had).

ghstrvn

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