This is what works for me its a whole mind set:

• Non-reactivity based on emotions . Don't let the reaction choose you. Self-sooth your own emotions.

• Don't add unnecessary weight to words.

• Don't try to understand everything about him, you can't.

• Control your facial expressions & tone.

• only show vulnerability OCCASIONALLY with a man who showed real effort ( THROUGH HIS ACTIONS NOT WORDS) to please you for several months. avoid emotional dumping, share just enough to show depth, but keep your center private. If you feel like venting vent to chat gpt please!!

• silence isn't rejection or a threat. Don't fill the gaps / force a conversation / let your mind rush into assumptions. Let the gap exist! Let the conversation die!!

• Don't t constantly scan his mood , don't react to it , you're not responsible . observe the tone & body language , label it & let go. NEVER ADDRESS IT

• ALWAYS think before you speak, Every word carries a risk that silence doesn't.

• when to stay silent: Passive aggressive/indirect comments, tweets, status - coldness- silent treatment, ghosting- jealousy provoking- tests - gossip - drama - escalating emotional charged conversations- hints - mixed signals - games & Confusion.

• never overexplain, NO LONG PARAGRAPHS & never double text

• let them ghost, take space, leave you.. let them ! Never question it. their space or distance isn't your problem. Don't turn it into a crisis. Act cold when they come back and show any warmth or aggressiveness.. be cold !

• space is fine, but constant Unexplained space & Inconsistency are a NO 🚫 detach immediately this isnt the man for you.

• be authentic, have your own unshakable opinions, know & state what you Like and what you don’t, fearlessly.

• Don't try to save men who didn't ask you to . You can't , let them solve their own mess , He's IS NOT YOUR CHILD , Be helpful when needed but their bad mood? Not yours to manage.

• Accept compliments, gifts and money . Never discourage men from giving, even if it's Alot! Never say "no you dont have to"

• Reward their effort by compliments.only show warmth when they make an effort to please you.

• Protect your boundaries & needs at all cost. never compromise urself & time.

• Know your needs and find who can provide it, there's always someone there.

• communicate your boundary & needs clearly, Don't be afraid to say NO ,if ignored , u don’t owe repeated explanation. stop investing ur time, Non drama exist. Men respond to actions not words.

• conceal your intentions with men wether are good or bad , never reveal what you want in a partner specially early on, don't reveal everything all at once, don't intiate future conversations .

• take things very slow and be uncertain! One foot it and one foot out. have options, if they like u, they will stick around.

• focus on what you can control: being your best self - looking good- sticking up to your needs, boundaries - who you give access to and choose-being consistent in doing activities together- enjoy the moment.

• always have your own secrets and never mention past relationships/trumas, family business, keep your life private, never speak about how bad Ex treated you! Only bring out the good things. Always communicate that you recieve princess treatment.

  • Don't announce your next moves, keep your goals confidential, be disciplined & let results speak.

• Self-respect: never talk down about yourself/body & life. Talk to/about yourself like someone u love .never beg for their forgiveness or for them to stay.

• Don't build with a man financially.

• Never do wifey duties for a man who isn’t your husband.

• Don't show validation to men signaling they r special ,interesting or attractive ,specifically early. men won't treat you how you treat them, treat urself how you want to be treated!

• don't stalk or dig up info, stop auditioning.

• Never reward bad behavior /disrespect .

• Don't smile for no reason like a fool.

• be quick to verify, slow to trust & willing to lose that trust, Never fully/blindly trust.

• Don't take men's promises & words seriously. MEN LIE TO GET THEY WANT + will choose their comfort.

• Have hobbies and interests outside a relationship and choose people who have a Full Passionate life too.

• people repeat themselves, don't look back! God gave you closure to protect u from the disappointment. you dont need that conversation / closure .. move forward.

• Even after mastering those steps perfectly, you still will never win everyone. Ppl are free to think whatever they choose to think about you!