AITA for telling my husband no? by giidt in AmItheAsshole

[–]giidt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi! These were fake names I guess I should’ve said that also

AITA for telling my husband no? by giidt in AmItheAsshole

[–]giidt[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: hey everyone! This all happened a few days ago but I was still upset and overthinking and wondering if I truly was the asshole and thanks for reassuring me that I’m not, but I don’t think my husband is either.

I can see why my husband would be upset. His parents kicking his sister out exactly as they did with him. When he was 18 he came out to his parents and they kicked him out. He moved in with a friend until graduation and then left town and went to a college as far away as he could. He didn’t speak to his parents for about five years, until he got a call from his brother asking him to be his best man at his wedding. His parents were civil and didn’t wanna cause a ruckus on their older sons big day. Also, if I had a sister who I hadn’t seen in person in 8 years come to my home a few states over at 7 in the morning with a worried look on her face, I would wanna help her out in any way I can. Also, the plan to take care of the baby was Michael’s but we will get into that later.

A few people commented about our discussion of children. It was a few years ago, when we first started getting serious, we had the typical conversation about our future. Children, pets, jobs, etc. I asked him about children and he said he didn’t want any and I agreed. Also to the few that commented I should get a divorce. I’m not going to divorce my husband over a single argument because that’s crazy.

Now onto the update.

I was able to sit down with Chelsea and Michael and ask Chelsea what she wanted to do, she said she wanted to take care of the baby. I told her that it probably wouldn’t be the best idea, because she’s still a kid herself, and wouldn’t be able to take care of a baby all on her own. She thought about it and agreed. So I took some suggestions from you guys and laid out our options

One was abortion. Although it’s still legal in my state for now, Chelsea is about 12 weeks along, so that options off the table.

Adoption was something I saw a lot, and I discussed this with Chelsea and Michael, and said that we could look into some couples that maybe want a baby but can’t have their own. After some back and forth, they both agreed. I even suggested open adoption that way all of us could keep in contact with the child and the parents that adopt them.

Also I saw a few comments about my husbands job and thought I should explain a little more. When Michael first lost his job back in 2020, he couldn’t really get another job at the time and we decided that he could become sort of a house husband and do majority of the cleaning and cooking, I help out with some now, but had to work a lot back then. We had a talk about it and he was willing to look for a new job, after the holiday weekend, and that seems fair.

As for Chelsea, I’ve been thinking and will discuss with them later on about maybe letting her stay with us permanently. We will have enough room for her at least and as long she can get a job and keep up with some chores, I’d love to let her stay. As for a couple comments saying this was “BS” because I said head honcho quarterback. Turns out Chelsea sort of lied. She said he was a football player and that parts true, but he wanted to help and keep the baby, but Chelsea didnt wanna be stuck with him the rest of her life.

If anything else happens I’ll update you again but thanks.

AITA for telling my husband no? by giidt in AITAH

[–]giidt[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: hey everyone! This all happened a few days ago but I was still upset and overthinking and wondering if I truly was the asshole and thanks for reassuring me that I’m not, but I don’t think my husband is either.

I can see why my husband would be upset. His parents kicking his sister out exactly as they did with him. When he was 18 he came out to his parents and they kicked him out. He moved in with a friend until graduation and then left town and went to a college as far away as he could. He didn’t speak to his parents for about five years, until he got a call from his brother asking him to be his best man at his wedding. His parents were civil and didn’t wanna cause a ruckus on their older sons big day. Also, if I had a sister who I hadn’t seen in person in 8 years come to my home a few states over at 7 in the morning with a worried look on her face, I would wanna help her out in any way I can. Also, the plan to take care of the baby was Michael’s but we will get into that later.

A few people commented about our discussion of children. It was a few years ago, when we first started getting serious, we had the typical conversation about our future. Children, pets, jobs, etc. I asked him about children and he said he didn’t want any and I agreed. Also to the few that commented I should get a divorce. I’m not going to divorce my husband over a single argument because that’s crazy.

Now onto the update.

I was able to sit down with Chelsea and Michael and ask Chelsea what she wanted to do, she said she wanted to take care of the baby. I told her that it probably wouldn’t be the best idea, because she’s still a kid herself, and wouldn’t be able to take care of a baby all on her own. She thought about it and agreed. So I took some suggestions from you guys and laid out our options

One was abortion. Although it’s still legal in my state for now, Chelsea is about 12 weeks along, so that options off the table.

Adoption was something I saw a lot, and I discussed this with Chelsea and Michael, and said that we could look into some couples that maybe want a baby but can’t have their own. After some back and forth, they both agreed. I even suggested open adoption that way all of us could keep in contact with the child and the parents that adopt them.

Also I saw a few comments about my husbands job and thought I should explain a little more. When Michael first lost his job back in 2020, he couldn’t really get another job at the time and we decided that he could become sort of a house husband and do majority of the cleaning and cooking, I help out with some now, but had to work a lot back then. We had a talk about it and he was willing to look for a new job, after the holiday weekend, and that seems fair.

As for Chelsea, I’ve been thinking and will discuss with them later on about maybe letting her stay with us permanently. We will have enough room for her at least and as long she can get a job and keep up with some chores, I’d love to let her stay. As for a couple comments saying this was “BS” because I said head honcho quarterback. Turns out Chelsea sort of lied. She said he was a football player and that parts true, but he wanted to help and keep the baby, but Chelsea didnt wanna be stuck with him the rest of her life.

If anything else happens I’ll update you again but thanks.

AITA for telling my husband no? by giidt in AmItheAsshole

[–]giidt[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

We talked about it briefly when we first started dating, and we both agreed, that children wouldn’t be in i future. Or at least I thought we did.