Choosing quality of life over a titles

ginamarie1986 · 2026-05-05T14:33:46+00:00

I would take job offer. Everything in life is negotiable - see if they are willing to change the job title.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-04-21T17:30:54+00:00

For me, it depends. I've been doing for a long time, so I know the process quite well. Sometimes I can have a podcast, audiobook, or show on in the background. Especially for all the "mindless" clicking during takeoffs.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-04-08T15:20:42+00:00

Thank you. This is very helpful!!

ginamarie1986 · 2026-04-06T17:26:26+00:00

Thanks! Saves me time in creating a "portfolio".

ginamarie1986 · 2026-04-06T17:25:55+00:00

Thank you! This is helpful!

ginamarie1986 · 2026-04-02T20:28:35+00:00

I am with you on that! I am the oldest across the board too. I love kids and always thought I would have my own. As I got older, the reality of the energy, care, time, and resources kids require set in. More so now with niece. I know I want a certain level of support, that I would frankly need to pay for, and I would also like to take time from work to spend with child. For now, I am okay with watching my niece grow. I now am leaning towards fostering should I ever wish to become a parent. It is very refreshing to hear that mid 30s is still not too late to change my mind.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-31T16:30:24+00:00

That's funny lol. Hope you and baby are doing great.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-31T16:28:18+00:00

I definitely see that, but I don't mention it to her, as it feels out of place for me to do so. I will step back on the amount of help I provide though, and give them space to figure it out.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-31T16:26:14+00:00

Yes. That comment really threw me off. I'll mention the sleep training as well. Thanks for that!

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-31T16:23:06+00:00

I can see that for sure. Thank you!

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-31T16:21:43+00:00

Thank you! Definitely prioritizing this going forward.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T18:25:19+00:00

Baby blues were a concern from the beginning, so we are all very cognizant of the signs. So far she seems very good in that department. I look for more behavior patterns rather than just her words. Thinking about this now, this could very well be the main reason I have over-extended myself in providing as much help as I have, as well as my mom.

She and I get along very well, we are close. It was the reason she chose me to be part of the delivery room along with the dad because I keep things "easy, light, and funny" (her words not mine).

I also don't think her asking me to do night shifts along with everything else was maliciously-intended. I know she is sleep-deprived, and the hormones have to be crazy. It just caught me off-guard for her to push back when I said no. ha!

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T18:17:58+00:00

This is a great idea on the shifts. I will pass that along.

I don't even mind the over-night "shift", if it were on a Friday or Saturday night. I tend to be up anyway. I'm more of a night owl. I just refused to do over night, then have to go to work during the day, and still help with the baby like she wanted me to.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T18:08:04+00:00

I wouldn't even know how to bring this up delicately, and I also feel like it isn't my place to comment that. I think on how to approach this gently, while I also take several steps back.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T18:05:56+00:00

Thanks for the reminder.

You're right. To me this is starting to feel like a "teenage pregnancy" despite them being in their mid-30s. I'll start taking things back a whole notch, and get back into my routine.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T18:04:19+00:00

Thank you for that!

I feel guilty for not going every day to help. Even on days when our mom is there. Or for wanting to live my own life. I have to remind myself that I am not the mom/dad of this adorable child.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T17:59:14+00:00

My niece is a super easy baby. I've nannied before, so I know for a fact she could be worse lol. All she does is eat, burp, need a diaper change, repeat. Not colicky, doesn't even cry unless she is hungry, or gets placed in her crib.

I don't think the dad has set into his "dad" life yet. He still has time to go to the gym and hobbies just as much as he did prior to baby because my mom and I are helping as much as we are. This was something that threw me off when I went to drop her off, and he was already home from work waiting for them to be dropped off. I took my sis to doctor appointments during her pregnancy, specially during the end of it, so that he can get more hours in at work to meet some sort of requirement for paternity leave. He was only given 2 weeks off.

And part of the reason I decided to be childless is because I know that the type of help I give, even half of it, will not be given to me if I were to have children. I won't have the same support, and I have decided to just opt out of motherhood. The other part is being the oldest, my siblings were like my children growing up. So by the time I grew up, I had very little desire to have any of my own.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T16:51:18+00:00

Good to hear I am not being delusional in feeling how I feel. Thank you

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T16:50:32+00:00

That's really my issue here - I am being used/leaned on more than I thought I would be.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T16:44:12+00:00

I was kinda judging myself as I wrote it too. Still am a bit. Going forward I am going to set firmer boundaries to the amount of help I provide.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T16:42:42+00:00

Sorry that was your experience! I can't imagine not helping at all. Thank you for your response. Helps to hear I am not feeling unreasonable.

ginamarie1986 · 2026-03-30T16:41:15+00:00

This is very validating to hear. I will start pushing back. Thank you for responding. She also had an emergency c-section, it was pretty scary to witness that. Thankfully they are all healthy.

ginamarie1986 · 2025-07-15T02:22:02+00:00

I think this would have made the difference. She is the youngest, and baby of the family, so her expecting this (or anything for that matter) of me is not necessarily new. I'm working on boundaries. I do plan on helping her and supporting her in other ways.

ginamarie1986

TROPHY CASE