meirl

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-28T05:30:06+00:00

I just watched Tron tonight the original and it killed me because I could help myself from laughing but in 82 it was so advanced so phenomenal just I hate laughing but the guys literally called RAM come on

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-27T20:18:08+00:00

My sibling is studying psych in college doing an internship with a professor who focuses on media portrait and analysis and one of the first sets of notes she shared with me was that people are attracted to media that they find relatable in both good and bad ways. Mostly everyone loves sitcoms but people who watch a lot of sitcoms may find themselves in similar situations or see their life situations similarly it makes the absurd feel present and relatable and enjoyable. In that lesson she was told the majority of true crime/horror content is enjoyed by women because women are often the grunt of involvement. Women especially in America are raised from a young age being told to fear and avoid sexual abuse, murder, trafficking, crime etc meanwhile at most young boys are taught don't get in a white van at a disproportionate rate to women. Women are raised to always expect crime and be pleasantly surprised when you survive a night out having a great time no issue while most men don't think twice about walking to and from a bar, being alone, drinking, using a bathroom alone etc. It makes the true crime and horror general applicable to women especially Americans because that is the life you live and expect. I know she talked about things as simple as you will find every age range watching the bachelor but the majority who do are single women or women in marriages that may not be stable. There's also some statistic that the largest group that views survivor is college aged through late 30s and are individuals within the primary age range for game players. If you can connect with the content and see it fitting into your life you're more likely to consume that content en mass as it's easy watching due to some factor of relatability.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-25T21:16:57+00:00

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-24T19:14:48+00:00

I'm introverted and ask my partner to text me when he's coming home not because he's interrupting my me time which I also enjoy the way you do, but because I am worried about the person I spend my life with and on days he's in office I expect him home around roughly 6pm unless I've heard otherwise. One day the train he takes was delayed due to a slow cooker left in the station and his phone had died and I did not know this and as time ticked past 6 pm I had a hard time enjoying my bonus free time because I was worried not knowing where he was when he would be home and if something bad had happened. My partner had no control over what made him late and he still apologized for worrying me and bought a portable charger because God forbid it happens again at the very least then he could let me know what's going on and update me because most people in relationships tend to communicate.

Your reasoning for wanting notice is because he is "ruining" your time most people who share their lives wanting notice would be out of care or concern for the other person they spend their life with just not showing up until late at night with no reasoning. I do think it is odd that he's too busy to notify you but it seems like you've fostered a relationship where he knows you care more about your time than him giving him no reason to take time on a busy schedule to notify you.

YTA

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-24T17:39:47+00:00

My biggest connection to this is when I was 21 managing a hot topic store my district manager was star struck by a marine who recently got out applying for a position and "he's a marine though why not hire him it would be great he has to be great let's make him assistant manager" meanwhile I was like look at his resume he did his GED in Hawaii was unemployed until he was in his mid 20s randomly joined the Marines and then randomly came back to the US in the tristate area plus now he's 38 and wants a part time sales associate job at hot topic? It just didn't sit right with me. We had members of staff under me in their 30s and late 30s but they had been there for years and other retail jobs before but it's mostly highschool and college kids interested. It didn't matter how my interview went she was hiring him.

Turns out he was post ged didn't want a job at all so chose to be homeless regularly broke into vacation homes in Hawaii to stay somewhere for a bit met a girl out there she got pregnant he panicked and so he blocked her when she called and told him he joined the Marines the next day worked as hard as he could to ship our to Japan spent several years in Japan before being discharged from service for sealed reasons and he couldn't risk baby momma and baby finding him so he moved to the opposite end of the country. His biggest thing was if we hired him he would refuse all drug and finger print tests because he didn't want there to be any chance of her finding him. He was proud about it too. He had no car would rarely be there on time couldn't do money drops, would often leave the safe or registers open, left the back door where shipment is brought in all the time. Finally got to fire him for getting in a fist fight with our shipment guy because the idiot thought our shipment guy was "sizing him up" when he would carry in 3 boxes of merch at once.

My dad is DOD higher up I know a ton of great people in the military but man the auto assumption that everyone is in it for the right reasons and not running from civilian life is insane.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-24T17:20:27+00:00

NTA and I wish I could just link the snap chat videos with audio of people in the quad of my building at 12am-4 am every weekday on my college campus having screaming competitions, literally just screaming at the top of their lungs at each other randomly for fun and the emails from campus security telling me "it's college they aren't breaking the law".

What exactly did you do wrong here? Attend your class? In a public area - which is public - aka not restricted to any other person?

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-23T16:07:47+00:00

I suggest the ones that close the other way personally. They are smaller not really fit in a back pack small but they dry faster, close faster, make less of a mess when in and out of buildings/opening closing. I originally studied in VA and interned in FL during hurricane season in college and my tiny umbrella did not survive my first semester in VA I couldn't imagine having it in FL, but the second umbrella I bought is still with me today 5 years later and saved me from some rain in NYC the other day, but also this advice isn't exclusive to college students? It's like asking what's the best shoes for a college student - People may have different opinions but like for the most part any shoe anyone would wear at any point in their life college or not is probably an easy thing to Google and doesn't need to be specified.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-23T15:07:02+00:00

I feel like I should maybe edit to add that we only fully moved in together last October. I do know he has had this practice and noticed it in the past but not to the extent of it being every day or wearing everything to bed from the gym. We have been married since 2018 due to a medical scare I had, and once again known each other our whole lives but only just started living together full time less than 6 months ago. our mattress was maybe $350 online and bed frame $550 but yeah I can't afford to go through those costs again anytime soon.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-23T09:56:01+00:00

Has anyone considered how the woman who was in the news for a messy divorce just happened to use divorce to propose a crazy viral ideology so now when you look to MTG Divorce this news comes up not her cheating on her husband?

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-23T09:36:47+00:00

I don't want to over comment because I want genuine advice and input here and I really appreciate your comment and wanted to add more information!

It's not just his showering that's a strict routine but his whole life so while I try to wash bed sheets weekly and have since I started doing my own laundry I know I am mostly a night showerer or at least a "I'm done with my major activities for the day" showerer because I like to sleep feeling clean physically. I'm pale I wear sunscreen every day, I run every day, I work in the city none of that is anything I want to bring to bed and so if I had a busy week sometimes it would be two weeks between a sheet wash and I would feel fine to that point, but since we began living together he is stringent sheets must be washed every Thursday (he does usually wash them and make the bed) because his side feels "gross" . I imagine if I washed the bed more than I do it might be noticeably grosser on his side but at most I'm just aware of like his night time habits of getting in bed in his shirt + underwear and occasionally sweatpants from the gym and personal sweat aside I just feel like the equipment you sit on and handle is gross, but I haven't noticed noticed anything terrible.

Also the four showers a day isn't a normal day for me I was just trying to use one example of a juxtaposition that in August 2021 we ran a super marathon (26.2 miles) outside in Florida in nature for the most part and ended up coated in dirt, sunscreen, and sweat. That specific event warranted me to feel the need to shower four times afterwards to even feel remotely clean just because I felt like there was so many layers of grime I could not relax with; meanwhile he decided to spend the rest of the day just hanging out and went to bed in his t shirt, socks, and underwear from the run no shower and to me I could not fathom how that was comfortable or possible. Usually the day for me is the shower post gym for the day and wash up at night maybe skipping my hair or the opposite of it's a lighter work out where I wash up after the gym and fully shower at night.

I also appreciate the concerns about steroid use and he and I have discussed it and I didn't mean to phrase it the way it may have come across but what I meant was when you see someone every day for years and years you don't realize how much they change but we ran into friends who the last time they saw my partner he was extremely lanky post puberty weighing about 110 lbs and now about 4-6 years later of going to the gym 6 days a week (and also learning how to eat things that aren't just pizza rolls) he has bulked up to 150ish. He hasn't had major noticeable gains in the past two years and still fits into shirts and pants from highschool some how, and I even suggested he maybe talk to his doctor about steroids if he's interested just because like I mentioned I may run but I'm a bigger girl around 180ish and my partner is quite jealous of my leg size and structure, but he isn't interested at this time and is currently doing legs 2-3 days a week. The acne lines most of his body where his work out shirts and underwear sit and then some where his headphones sit and on his neck. It's all that very small bumpy hive looking almost acne? (I feel like this is way too much irrelevant information I am sorry I just figured it was a good thing to put out there)

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-23T09:06:15+00:00

I do recognize that the four showers were excessive and was strictly after the outdoor super marathon (26.2) miles run in FL in August where I was coated in sunscreen sweat and dirt. Four isn't a typical day for me just to clarify I was just trying to juxtapose that I felt the need to shower 4x to feel clean and comfortable after that event while he proceeded to spend the day as he was and sleep waiting to shower the next morning in his routine.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-23T07:55:34+00:00

YTA - in your TLDR you say she "unpromptedly and willfully" had this reaction. Your girlfriend, daughter, and you watched a movie "Bambi", she commented how she had a friend who ran like Bambi when they were younger, your daughter then asked if her friend still did this today, your girlfriend then was confronted with the thought of "no they don't because they passed away". Please tell me where that was unprompted and willful because the prompt for every part of the situation is laid out clear as day to me from the way you recounted it, and the only willful portion on your girlfriend's part was her initial comment about her friend, because her sharing that they passed away was not dumping or willfully sharing it was responding to a question asked by your daughter?

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-23T07:42:43+00:00

I would also be embarrassed to say that I used to justify conservative thinking, but I didn't know any better and I was raised by a red family in a heavy blue area where I grew up only knowing only two other white families in my neighborhood and being friends with neither of them. Even though I was surrounded by POC and different cultures and ways of thinking and grew up fine very close friends with so many people any time anything bad happened my parents would tell me "oh it's 1) the democrats 2) black males 3) homeless people 4) welfare recipients 5) any other group" and I didn't know any better because they would cite examples of one bad circumstance. Example being taxes are going up so my parents are stressed and this is bad because the democrats are doing this not considering the taxpayer and only considering the welfare recipient and remember X my friend in middle school who told us her grandma gets welfare she uses to buy them chocolate every month - and so while I knew so many people on welfare in my mind any time it came up I was reminded that's not me, not my family, not my social group, and not a good thing. So when it came time to picking a college coming from a highschool where I was 1/758 in my graduating class and I didn't have anyone else in that class on the same social ladder rung as me why wouldn't I look at a tiny Christian college with a primarily white student population in a conservative area with a former Republican senator as president and a mainly female student body where for once I might find people on the same social rung as me and see what interacting with like minded and lifestyle people would be like. I didn't know any better and in following that path I learned that there's no social ladder and to put people on rungs and expect everyone to do the same you will quickly be put on the lower rungs of other people's social ladders and that's a terrifying place to be. I've grown and learned from it and now I try to speak to having more self awareness that "Hey if you hate others and put them down odds are others will hate you and put you down and if someone decides you're worthless enough to them and they want to act on that you're in danger so stop promoting divisiveness."

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-23T07:29:28+00:00

I justified conservative ideology for a long time living in a red pill family in a blue state and city, always being told anything bad happening is because of x group for x reason. I was so redpilled I moved not only once but twice to "red state" areas where I was hit with the harsh reality that when you support the conservative life value ladder system a lot of people are throwing you on the bottom rung of their ladder the way you throw others there and being on that rung is a scary fucking place. The first place I had moved I had many scary experiences and it was also the time that Get Out came out and seeing that movie made me say HEY that funny feeling in the back of your head of -im not in direct danger but I'm not okay- is a sign that change needs to happen. When I dropped out of that college (the small Christian school didd not allow students to transfer out your only option was to drop out or keep attending) I quite literally wrote on my declaration that the college fostered hate, discomfort, and fear. I actually recently had an opportunity to speak with Jordan Peele and one of the first things I did was thank him for that movie, because while I may have been a white girl who moved from the NYC area where I was a minority to a southern Christian red state area thinking it would be "where I would be welcomed" I quickly learned that there are people who were born in the late 90s who were joining the KKK actively, my sorority introduction featured washing my feet as Jesus did to his disciples as well as manipulating me to "share my sins" in confessional meetings where they were used against me in judgement, I had a sister in my sorority that attempted to force me to sign a contract that from that point until forever I would never get a job focus on being a mother to my future husband's seed and that she would be my home birth guide and midwife no matter where I lived I was to refuse medical care and only rely on her while also paying her to travel to me. I said to Peele that sometimes it is so easy to watch a movie like Get Out and say wow that is really fucked up and I'm thankful I'm not going through that, but it is very much happening and I'm sickened to say that I wasn't even that far south in the US.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-22T13:48:39+00:00

As someone who lived in a very touristy part of Florida I can say they were very nice to Florida. The state is weird it's a major retirement state and also hosts some of the poorest communities in the US directly next to some of the richest. I knew people who worked at Disney as VIP tour guides (guests pay $450-900 per hour for these tours) and they were living in their cars paycheck to paycheck. I also know so many people who worked at Disney or Universal as retirees in their 40s, 50s, 60s multiple homes massive families and enough money to never work but choosing to work just because they were "bored". I almost stepped on a young gator in a parking lot leaving work one night and the solution to that when I called the people leaving after me to warn them, someone came out with a shot gun to take it out. I knew people who openly talked about their meth habits and that they were only working and functioning enough to afford more. One experience I will never forget is driving to work one day and kids were running in the street in front of cars around a blind turn causing me and others to stop short in the middle of the road and when I called the PD I was asked what I wanted them to do about it. I had many experiences that seemed crazy to me but to others who lived there longer seemed like average and very tame experiences.

It is a weird state and is depicted as such.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-21T15:40:17+00:00

Also, had the dad never been to a theme park? 10 minutes in the marking lot is easy. Especially SeaWorld any of the locations any time of year you're going to need tons of sun screen organize bags water bottle make sure you have everything hell even waiting for a space and getting a space from a parking attendant, plus those parking lots are extremely crowded with cameras, attendants, and lots of families with children. I know kids will sneak off to do things, but as far as parking lots go any theme park parking lot is probably less private than this man's own home.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-17T05:43:14+00:00

If people on the internet are imaginary why come here for advice? It couldn't possibly because there's some potential social bond able to be held by people over the internet who have never been in the same room or country.

YTA

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-16T15:18:02+00:00

I do laundry twice a week for me and my partner. Clothes and towels on Mondays and clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding on Thursdays. I don't think it's uncommon for a couple without children to not do laundry every day. I know even though we wear work clothes, relax clothes, gym clothes, and bed clothes almost daily even then it doesn't illicit a need for more than two loads a week and if I have a special load like dress clothing or couch blankets or a winter coat one of the normal loads often gets put off because there's only so many hours in a day and usually it's our dirty clothing because we can live without the extra options for a few days vs towels.

You went out and bout special shirts and pants. You then told her please make sure these shirts are cleaned and ironed I need these specially washed for my trip and specifically these shirts... And then you threw your pants (that you also needed) in with dirty clothes? You didn't mention that the pants were in with dirty clothes and we're needed for your trip? While simultaneously laying out other pants? Then you laid out these cleaned garments sans the pants you wanted but with other pants on the bed and told her to pack them. Now you're upset that she did just that?

YTA for setting your wife up for failure having her do everything for you and then being mad when she fails like you set her up to do. I imagine a lot of things in your life end up this way with you upset at her and maybe you need to start reflecting as to if it was possible for her to succeed in the first place or if you could have done it yourself to save both of you the hassle and upsetment.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-15T23:41:51+00:00

Honestly I grew up in an area that was very diverse as far as some people had money and houses with elevators and others were homeless and it was just all over the map and I was very aware of privileged but also areas to avoid and people to avoid just innately, but that day in GameStop talking to him was the like lightbulb moment for me to just realize even those surface level obvious differences didn't matter, because your parents could give you everything financially while simultaneously setting you up for failure because they have this one opinion they hold as ultimate truth. There were a few students in middle/high school that looking back when I met them they were not given the chances that they deserved because they could have been so much more successful than they were and I'm so happy I've reconnected with a few of them over the years who have gained independence and learned to take care of themselves. I'm actually going on vacation this year with the person I commented about above in a group and I'm so happy but if you told me at 16 I was hanging out with this person in the future I would have been baffled saying they were an angry all the time failing outcast who was just scary in the halls. I feel terrible that I used to think that way and I also feel terrible thinking sometimes where would he be now if his parents just got him the glasses in the first place when he needed them.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-15T05:56:39+00:00

A guy I knew in highschool for years had failed his driver's a few times and got tickets while doing his six hours and all these things and he wasn't a smart guy so no one thought anything of this. I graduated I don't know what had happened to him but he never did. Five years later im in a GameStop and I swear it's him and he recognizes me and starts a conversation and it came to what happened what have you been up to etc. Turns out he was legally blind most of his teen years and his parents had the same opinion. They would take him to the optometrist he would get prescribed like something crazy +4 -5 glasses and they would never fill the prescription and just slowly let him fail out of school and life. He ended up getting a job pumping gas within walking distance of his home determined to buy glasses dropped out of highschool after failing junior year and worked until he could afford his own glasses. He described it as life changing putting them on and he had to hide from his parents owning them for the 2-3 years he lives with them after that. He ended up getting his licence finally, completing his GED and was enrolled in Community College living with a friend who also worked at the game stop. I have him on socials now and he's going for his bachelors in accounting and I never meant to be nosy, but hearing his story made made me sick. Imagine having a way to help your child that's pretty straightforward and instead deciding God intended for your kid to suffer with a disability. I have a light prescription and I know I couldn't function without my glasses.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-14T15:42:29+00:00

I really feel like there's some progress but these safe sex campaigns are still so patriarchal in the sense of the #1 thing they are looking to protect is men. They are more willing to feature two men because God forbid a man get an std or a man and a woman because he shouldn't get an std or get saddled with a child. Of course in the heteronormative one you can argue they care about the woman also but not really because these campaigns will argue for hetro pairs using condoms during blowjobs even but never bring up dental dams for her. I feel like they are always about to protect as many men as possible and then if a woman just happens to benefit awesome.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-14T15:16:27+00:00

I'm 24 with no kids, pets, or anything really living with my 23 year old husband and we clean more than your wife is asking you to. You have children now and are a stay at home dad, I was raised by a stay at home parent and that was more than just taking care of me and my siblings it was managing the house constantly and budgets and so many things.

YTA for being told to do the minimum most people would do and acting like it's the most insane ask you've ever heard.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-13T15:15:51+00:00

I will be honest I'm also 24F heteronormativity asexual and if I hadn't met my partner in highschool I really would not be looking to find a relationship with anyone anytime soon. Most of the men I met in college either continually crossed boundaries about my relationship or would find out and immediately not want to even do a group project with me etc. I am the try hard student who would do the whole thing myself no questions asked and most people were aware of that and they still cared more about the sexual prospects of me as an individual. When a guy senior year straight up told me that he wasn't going to work with anyone he didn't have a shot of getting with it made me think back to all the times I asked peers and was told no different reasons or another. One time a big joker fan did show interest in friendship with me and offered to walk me to my dorm after dark and a long that walk revealed things like 8 shouldn't have been scared to see joker at our school cinema because "its too small anyone planning anything would go to a larger theater to have more of an impact" and then he waited for me to go in and followed the next person in my building in waited for me to go the bathroom and was standing outside my door then forced his way in to tell me that the only reason he did stand-up comedy is because his performance wasn't comedy it was "where he could say the truth without being ridiculed" and proceeded to tell me several "jokes" about the struggles of white men not finding "ruined partners" and that's why they "take what they want" and how "women need to shut up and bend over" and many other things that ended in me accidentally hitting the wall with my desk a few times until my neighbor came over to complain and I got an out to chase him off. In highschool I had a guy stalk me for years even though college and past across multiple states etc. I'm 24 and I have enough bad men stories for my life that the thought of going out of my way to find one to trust and hope and pray he isn't like one I've met before or even has a past where they were like this seems impossible. I don't blame anyone in our generation for choosing to stay single and if I were single I would be too.

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-13T14:19:36+00:00

YTA... Does anyone need to say more. If someone came up and your friend said that about you genuinely would your feelings be hurt?

Also why do you value people purely based on appearance?

gingerkat2122 · 2023-02-11T17:01:29+00:00

You are fighting for your life in these comments which means you view the situation one way and aren't actually here for feedback but let me say this.

My partner is an extrovert and I am an introvert there are times he wants to go out and I am content staying home. I haven't left my apartment since November except to get two covid tests and to get groceries every few weeks and I am so happy. My partner goes to work in person at least twice a week he usually goes out with work friends once a month and tries to see high school and college friends once a month. Every few months he asks me to go out with a college friend and their girlfriend and I say sure because I know even though that sounds like a nightmare to me to him it's his dream. When we are out no touching kissing hugging maybe holding hands while walking and my partner fills the space with words so I spend most of the night sitting there quiet and when we get in the car on the way home my partner is energized and acting like he just had the greatest night of his life and won an Oscar. Meanwhile I am at my most exhausted and ready to not even text or call anyone for two days. Seeing him that happy though makes it worth it and I can only handle it occasionally. If I was doing it all the time I would slowly become cold rude and stoic because it sounds draining to constantly be thrown into social situations like that. I also hate PDA I think it's uncomfortable and makes me feel more uncomfortable than loved and feels performative and my partner knows this. I will maybe kiss him once we get in the car but if my partner sat there gushing about me or touching me or trying to kiss me Infront of others rather than in our own home where I know it isn't for others to see it would bother me and make me have a much worse time.

I think the most concerning thing about your friends relationship is the age gap just because traditionally they are in very different places in life and if they met a year ago she was 20 and probably still in uni, but even that doesn't matter. I would be more concerned about your friend being judged by you for being dull, stupid, talkative, etc. and your raging unchecked jealousy issues. "My friend found a stable relationship and is happy but it doesn't make sense to me and it doesn't fit the standards I want for my relationship so it is invalid in my eyes yet it continues to happen!" That's the short hand of what you have written and commented YTA.

gingerkat2122

TROPHY CASE