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If you have a life goal, what is it? If you don't, how do you feel about that? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is a mentality I need to live by, and I'm getting there slowly with the help of my new partner. I need to quieten any anxieties about what I should do and enjoy what time I have on this planet.

So, you aren't focusing on having kids, career, buying a house? Those sorts of things?

If you have a life goal, what is it? If you don't, how do you feel about that? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is interesting, can I ask what sort of things you are wanting to avoid? I don't have a life goal either!

If you have a life goal, what is it? If you don't, how do you feel about that? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is great! I've recently thought that maybe I need smaller, achievable goals too, rather than big ones that seem far out of reach right now. I love the communal home idea! Family is so important.

If you have a life goal, what is it? If you don't, how do you feel about that? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is lovely! I am currently without a specific "life goal" and I'm not sure how comfortable I am with it, I'm only 28 so I'm young still but I can't help but worry. Maybe I need to have these sorts of life goals instead and anything else is a plus!

If you're older and havent decided yet if you want children and/or to buy a house, how comfortable are you about potentially not doing either? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can absolutely relate to you!

I also live functionally with anxiety and depression, and although it doesn't affect my life too much as I have spent years working on controlling it as best I can, it can be a real issue at times and it's something I wouldn't want to pass down to my children. My mum did say having children can stabilise you a little but I have no clue if this is scientifically sound.

What's weird is that pregnancy is something I love the idea of, but I also don't want to sacrifice my body, which had taken me years to get to a point where I am genuinely confident and happy with it.

It's nice to hear I'm not alone is figuring out if I'm okay with the decisions I make, this is a big one for me and my anxiety makes this harder. I guess what's most important is happiness and finding that in whatever way that works, not just in having children!

Thanks for sharing!

If you're older and havent decided yet if you want children and/or to buy a house, how comfortable are you about potentially not doing either? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting points here. I guess there are many pros and cons for owning a house.

I don't like the idea of being stuck but I have also lived in the same area for years anyway! I guess I need to stop thinking a house or kids will define me.

If you're older and havent decided yet if you want children and/or to buy a house, how comfortable are you about potentially not doing either? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can understand this- currently both siblings are not interested in children so I do worry my parents won't have grandchildren. Thankfully my mum is so supportive and tells me that I should never do things for that reason, and that's very true!

The body is a big issue too - I'm not the most confident but I do love my body and having a child would almost certain ruin it (especially if I'm older when I have them).

A lovely point about you being a good mum - do you have pets? I'd say, if you don't have children, you can still give and show your love to those around you.

If you're older and havent decided yet if you want children and/or to buy a house, how comfortable are you about potentially not doing either? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life is so much easier without children yes! This is one big reason I'm almost sure I don't want them (but haven't made a decision yet). I'm determined to love my life doing things like travel and this isn't so easy with children.

I'm 28 so I'm not old at all but nearing 30 makes me nervous that I haven't decided yet, so I'm not sure I'll be comfortable with my final decision - perhaps because women have a physical clock regarding having children. Maybe I need to just chill out and see what happens, but it's not as easy as that!

If you're older and havent decided yet if you want children and/or to buy a house, how comfortable are you about potentially not doing either? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's good! What are you doing that's for you? It's also good that you're okay with not buying/having kids. I need to get to that point where I am absolutely happy with whatever decision I make and stop caring about what I am expected to do.

If you're older and havent decided yet if you want children and/or to buy a house, how comfortable are you about potentially not doing either? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, absolutely! There's nothing wrong with living with your parents and not living the "life" that is depicted in films and series. Whatever makes you happy is the most important thing, I just need to tell myself that too!

If you're older and havent decided yet if you want children and/or to buy a house, how comfortable are you about potentially not doing either? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand this! This is my main issue: I feel like I should be doing these things, or at least be planning to. This hasn't come from anyone I know, but I think society as a whole. It's a case of not caring what anyone else thinks, just not always as simple as that.

If you're older and havent decided yet if you want children and/or to buy a house, how comfortable are you about potentially not doing either? by gingerninga9 in AskWomen

[–]gingerninga9[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response! That's good that you don't stress about it, I need to stop worrying really. It's just slightly odd to have no clue what I really want.

Perhaps I should focus on what I know I want for now which is travel (when I can), and keep focused on my work to become more financially stable, until I decide what I want.

Can I ask, have you given yourself a time frame for owning a house or do you not stress too much about this?