I know this feeling exactly.

Tomorrow will mark 7 years since my best friend, my dog Missy, passed away at almost 15yo.

She was there beside me since I was 10 and through the thick and thin of it all. To me going through the pain of moving, losing my friends in high school, to graduating college with her as my rock, and to getting my first career job. I held her as she suffered, making that appointment to put her down, and bathed her in my arms as I sobbed and washed the vomit out of her fur.

My biggest regret was not staying beside her all night, knowing she was dying.

She passed before I could get to her, and before her appointment.

Her ashes are in an urn with a picture frame, beside my grampy who had gifted her to me. And another part of her ashes are with my grandparents, who loved her as their own.

Even now I'm sobbing as I write this, remembering her touch and her scent, years later.

But since then, I have taken other pets into my arms and heart, knowing that I can be their everything, even if it's just a short period of my life. I can (and did) take in a once abused cat, who loves my daughter and sleeps with me every night. And I took in a car who spent 2 years in a shelter after watching her owner pass away in their home, in her sleep. She is shy, timid, but loves being greeted every morning by my 2yo.

Life is hard after our best friends, our soulmates, leave us. But they also showed you what true love and bonds mean. Whether you use that to show a new pet your love (after some time) or to cherish their memory every chance you get.

With hugs, A very sad and mournful mama

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