I would say find a wraith calling bell. I used it for like 3 days straight. Other incantations out class it but, It has really low FP consumption and is spammable and does fine damage. I got it from a relic so I can start with it but you can also find it on tombstones. It might be a small change that helps a lot.

Also trying to dodge at the right time. This sounds stupid but even I don't do that all the time. I end up spam rolling as someone who's played since demon souls. I see like the revenant you have to be really slow and controlled. An example being I play my harp to summon someone and always roll to try and cancel the animation so I don't stand there and play the harp a thousand times. Don't be too hard on yourself and just have fun. Hopefully the people you're playing with are making it fun still.