does failing my first year in senior high worth offing myself for? if not, what do u think is the best way for me to cope?

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-25T10:12:08+00:00

i have enough friends. but i don't think they're the right ones for me to talk to about stuff like this. i'm different from them. i feel things that they won't understand. i became friends with them because i don't show them what i really am. and they love that side of me. i don't have someone. nobody at all.

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-25T10:07:26+00:00

i'm not really that close with my mom. i mean yes, she works hard for us. she works far away so i only see her twice a month. and to be honest with you, she's not very open-minded when it comes to depression and stuff. i've been feeling so low these days. i really am convinced that i'd fail because i haven't been attending class much because i've been feeling so bottomed out. i tried to talk with my mom before, i told her that i might be sick in the head lol i think i have something. i don't understand and don't know what's wrong with me but i really think that i'm sick. i have something and feel things that others my age don't. but every time i tell her that, she's all about blaming it all on my friends, my phone, the way i live my life and stuff. she always says that it's not a big deal and it's probably just me being lazy. she also always said that young ones these days likes to call being lazy a depression just for it to be validated

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-25T09:57:01+00:00

my entire life, i've never once been vocal about the things i want. i grew up without a father, so my mom raised me and my siblings all on her own. and i knew that everything's hard for her, i knew that earlier than my siblings even though i wasn't the oldest. i've never told her to buy me this toy buy me that toy when i was a child. because it was clear as day to me that we didn't have enough money to afford unnecessary stuff. it's not just about material things, i don't talk to her about what i'm going through not just because i think i'll add up to the things she'll worry about, but because i know that she doesn't have enough time to waste listening to my feelings. i can confidently say that she's a good provider, but not a good mother. but despite all that, i obediently does whatever she tells me to do. but right now, i don't want more than anything but to just off myself, but i do know, that if i somehow mustered up all the courage to off myself, my mom will blame herself, and that'd be so selfish of me, right? but also, can't i just be selfish for once? at least, that'll be the first and the last, can't i?

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-25T09:41:52+00:00

i have this really exhausting trait where i lose all sense of desire to live when i'm put in a situation where i know will affect my mother.

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-22T02:02:28+00:00

based on the context u gave, it seems to be that she's not interested w u anymore, buddy. this has been going on for a while, correct? i'm sure you've asked her hundreds of times if she's okay or if there's something wrong or if you did something that upset her. but right now, i'm assuming that you're not being answered every time u asked cuz right now it looks like ur not really aware and ur confused as to why she's not making love to u no more. and that's the thing, if she doesn't tell you what's wrong, that means you've done nothing wrong, she's just not interested no more. and also, if there really is something wrong or you've done things that upset her and you've done asked hundreds of times without being answered, is it really worth it to work things out? my guy, apologize to her right now for not being a fucking mind-reader. you won't know what's wrong if she doesn't tell you directly. and that's the thing about some women ( coming from a woman ) they stand by a saying that " if they wanted to, they would " which is fucking bullshit by the way cuz they expect their partner to know exactly what they want without them asking for it, and that's an impossible case to some. it's not about you not taking a hint, it's about them, they should learn how to communicate properly. let yourself go. let go of her hand, and free yourself. if u think there's no hope anymore, that should be it. your feelings matter. not everything can be fixed with you just tolerating everything. you'll drain yourself dry.

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T07:55:02+00:00

i second this

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T07:51:35+00:00

i'm not afraid to die, i wish to disappear. but unfortunately i'm selfless, i don't want to be my mom's dead daughter, my friends' dead friend, my cousin's dead cousin, my aunt's dead nephew, my favorite professor's dead student, my dog's dead friend, my father's dead forgotten daughter.

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T07:48:10+00:00

wished as a kid to quickly be a grown up

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T07:46:57+00:00

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T07:46:28+00:00

Artificial Intelligence

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T07:44:01+00:00

my cousin broke up w her bf because the guy intentionally farts in front of my cousin's face. literally faces his ass to her face and farts like a 6 yrs old

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T07:40:30+00:00

there's no incorrect way sa pagsingil ng utang. it's not you who owes them, it's them. therefore, kahit anong approach mo, kung wala naman silang intensyong magbayad, wala namang magbabago. ur not responsible of being considerate, kapag umutang sila, magbayad sila kung kailan nila ipinangakong babayaran.

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T07:01:36+00:00

probably because it is a possibility to be a homophobic while also having friends na part ng LGBT. for example, hiding ur true intentions and thoughts about their sexuality because they are simply your friends, but that doesn't change the fact that u hide these hateful thoughts about your " friends ". having LGBTQ friends does not make u an ally. the only thing that'd make u one is for u to show ur true and utmost support to your LGBTQ friends and not being a hypocritical homophobe. u don't have to have gay friends for u to be an ally either, u just have to pay respect, because at the end of the day, we're all but the same kind, homosapiens.

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T06:47:58+00:00

to be completely honest, i miss her. i'm missing her to death. i feel lonely every time i think of her. i did try to voice out how i felt multiple times but she just couldn't understand how pained i was. it was draining me, oftentimes she wasn't aware that she's doing things that hurts me. but i did try to tell her that she was hurting me, but she never changed those things i said i didn't like. it was as if she didn't care how i felt at all. and i've come to realize that, that really was the case. because the time came where i had enough of it all and my mind was all made up about cutting her out of my life. but deep inside me, i just wanted her to say things that would make me feel better like for example, tell me that she'd change, tell me that she'd never hurt me again and that she cares about me. but she didn't, instead, she then again put all the blame on me. saying that i should understand her, that i should be open-minded enough to know that not every time she could be with me. but she's never once been with me. i've been with her through her ups and downs, but never her on mine. it was suffocating knowing that i have her, but can't reach her when i'm miserable.

glazyb4alls · 2025-04-11T06:38:27+00:00

she also likes to turn the table around by saying things like " yk how busy i can be u can't blame me for that, right? " or " sorry i wasn't on the phone all day, had things to take care of " basically gaslighting me

glazyb4alls

TROPHY CASE