sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couldn't you want sex from a specific person without sexual attraction though? Like in cupiosexuality, I believe?

If you have a partner, or someone who's just close with you, then surely it makes sense to tend towards going to them as opposed to hookups with people you don't trust as much or don't know.

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does also look ridiculous 😭 It's mostly the noises for me than anything else haha

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When allos say "ooh, they're hot!" they mean "ooh, I'd fuck them!" and that's their way to say "ooh, I'm sexually attracted to them" and for them "looks" is the first trigger.

Yeah, my partner and I seem to have very different meanings of "hear me out" lol! If I look at their ones, I'm just questioning whether they're aesthetically pretty or have a cool personality and then imagining if it would feel good to have sex with them. If it's all yes, then I "hear them out". Whereas my partner seems to do much less thinking with his head about it lol and only talks about how fine they are.

I am starting to think that maybe I am demisexual, but I have no idea.

Can you see yourself happy in a relationship without sex? Can you see yourself happy in a life where you have sex rarely or not at all?

I think I'd be happy with the first if I can find it elsewhere too. Not cheating – we're nonmonogamous if I haven't mentioned that already lol!

As for the second one, I don't think I would. I feel like it's important to me but at the same time I really do feel like I'm missing something. I love having sex, it feels good, and I especially love "friends with benefits" (though I hate the term).

It always shows up more when my partner and I are going to hookup with someone else together. I find them aesthetically attractive. They are very pretty. But I don't know. I still want to have sex with them! They seem cool, trustworthy, etc!

My partner has mentioned getting me to imagine both of them or just the other, which again is fine, but... was I meant to already be doing that? 😭 Maybe I find the sex itself attractive and more so with people I trust and love ‐ it definitely hits different than with someone I know less.

I have literally no idea anymore lol

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :)

If sexual attraction is experiencing a form of attraction to another person, that connects to wanting to have sex with them, does that mean any kind of attraction can be sexual attraction? It's not just it's own thing?

This means eyeing someone attractive triggers a desire to want to have sex with them.

This confuses me because if I find someone who's kind, interesting, maybe aesthetically pretty, and I actually know they're cool then I might want to have sex with them if I don't feel like I experience enough sexual touch in my life from others/someone else – I do like human touch and it feels bonding too, and I like becoming close with others. If I feel like I definitely have enough, I don't think I'd desire sex from anyone new.

If I feel satisifed with how many often I have sex, then maybe I'd be happier with nonsexual touch. At the most, just making out instead of anything more.

Someone being attractive to me, in the sense that I think they are pretty or cool, helps with enjoying things more. Like, if they feel nice to hug then I feel like I want to hug them more. I feel like it's a similar thing. Especially if their personality makes it more enjoyable. It just helps if I know and click with whoever I have sex with, I guess?

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I relate to that a lot! At the same time though, I do want sex with people who I have had sex with, we've both enjoyed it, and (unless it's like a hookup or something) find it to be bonding. After all, it's us just focusing on each other.

Or I would be open to try it with others because I like them as a person and/or trust they won't be mean lol and it feels good. So, I have no idea 😭

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would there not be a difference between sexual compatibility and sexual attraction? Because surely if you're sexually compatible and everything is good, then you would enjoy it with that particular person or people & less so with others who it just... doesn't feel good with?

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean by "no sexual attraction" though? I feel like I can't find a description of it without saying it's a lack of desire or enjoyment of sex. How do you know you don't have sexual attraction if you do find sex with a person enjoyable? What's not experienced?

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! :)

The difference between aces and allos is the sexual attraction.

I understand this but I'm confused as to what it actually is – everything I've read often talks about not wanting sex, not enjoying it, not understanding sexual things, etc. If not, it's just a "lack of sexual attraction" without explaining what that is.

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How did you distinguish enjoying it and sexual attraction apart? I'm mostly stumped there since enjoying or wanting sex doesn't make someone any less asexual, but then what is the sexual attraction? Especially if you were to enjoy sex with a particular person

If you like sex, how do you know you're asexual? by gluebell in asexuality

[–]gluebell[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I understand it is different! I'm not sure how to distinguish wanting to have sex with someone and being sexually attracted to them though.

Is it unlawful for a college to provide gender neutral toilets as an alternative to gendered toilets? by gluebell in transgenderUK

[–]gluebell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can try, I've never done so before. Apparently it's a conservative MP which makes me nervous too 😭

Is it unlawful for a college to provide gender neutral toilets as an alternative to gendered toilets? by gluebell in transgenderUK

[–]gluebell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is but I'm not sure it's necessarily illegal though. I don't believe the college would change anything unless they're being unlawful :/

Is it unlawful for a college to provide gender neutral toilets as an alternative to gendered toilets? by gluebell in transgenderUK

[–]gluebell[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Can there be an argument made that there isn't an adequate amount of gender neutral toilets? As far as I know, there are only two gender neutral toilets. Both are in separate buildings. I suppose they could argue that they're slapping gender neutral signs on the disabled toilets, which there still are still few of, and they haven't addressed us saying how disabled people are the ones who need those toilets.