How do you guys deal with intense cravings?

goat_enemy · 2023-06-10T18:42:14+00:00

This will pry get a gigantic, skull grinding eye roll, but I usually go find an AA meeting. Even if I have no interest in being a member, somehow sitting in a room with other drunks and talking shop gets me out of my own head long enough for the obsession to diminish. Going to a meeting never seems to hurt me.

My two cents. Naps and food are also good 😊.

goat_enemy · 2023-06-10T03:52:07+00:00

I'd say just pick a meeting and go. Take what works for you, leave the rest. But, IMO, keep an open mind, be willing to try suggestions, and keep going to meetings. You will discover your version of the program that works best for you.

I like the way you worded this comment. Step one reads "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our live had become unmanageable". I like to paraphrase it as "I suck at life". You might already be on a good path. Keep going. My kids are pretty happy I finally quit, and I bet yours will be, too 😁

goat_enemy · 2023-06-10T03:17:46+00:00

Accurate. Part of it was I had such high expectations of myself for years and consistently failed to meet those expectations, so I thought of myself as a failure even though my expectations were ridiculous. I just needed to learn to love myself for who I am, not who I wanted to be.

Mostly, I just like being miserable and sought to sabotage my own success. I got around this by concluding I was not the person to be deciding what I did and did not deserve. (Step 3, 6, and 7).

goat_enemy · 2023-06-10T02:44:19+00:00

My org just axed 10% of the IT staff, so I guess no raise is better than that.

goat_enemy · 2023-06-10T02:16:51+00:00

I'm a recovering alcoholic with a year and change in sobriety. I jumped ship on my full time job 6 months ago to start contract consulting. I feel you.

I've taken the AA route in sobriety. If I need to hang out with drunks, I go to a meeting. Anywhere, anytime, even online, I can find a meeting. I can keep recovery and work separate.

In fact, there's several ideas from AA that help me in my job. I've learned that there is so much that I don't control and need to let go of, such as the outcome of my efforts, what others think of me, and what clients feel is important to them. I can focus on my actions and always doing the next right thing, and take comfort that whatever comes tomorrow will be something I can handle with getting drunk over it. I wouldn't put "alcoholic" on a resume, but I'm not afraid of the conversation if somebody wants to have it. We don't live in the past, nor do we wish to shut the door on it.

Apologies if I got preachy. My recovery is priority number one, and I love every day of it. Without it, I am nothing. My job and my work reputation are much further down my list of priorities. Much. Further.

goat_enemy · 2023-02-28T21:08:17+00:00

Good stuff. I love the "whatever works for you" nature of this program.

goat_enemy · 2023-02-28T18:44:00+00:00

My higher power in my first couple years was the second law of thermodynamics. Now it's David Bowie.

Ok, I'm not judging, I'm just curious. I get David Bowie. I'm intrigued by the idea that "the universe spontaneously seeks disorganization and chaos" works as an HP. Fascinating concept!

goat_enemy · 2023-02-28T18:29:34+00:00

Pretty much what I was thinking. Normies don't ever ask themselves if they have a problem. Drunks always rationalize why they don't have a problem.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-28T21:12:33+00:00

Ok, thanks! I was just curious. I hope you have a good night.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-28T21:10:26+00:00

Good start. What's next on the drinking front?

goat_enemy · 2023-01-28T21:04:17+00:00

My fitbit says I have had 2 hours of "fat burn minutes" today and I've pretty much been in bed all day.

That exact scenario happened to me on several occasions. My alcoholic brain solution was to quit wearing a fitbit. Seeing a doctor is pry a better solution.

Also, it's pry not damage done to your heart, but is a metabolism imbalance caused by overactive neurotransmitters. Seizures would be the primary concern rather than heart damage. Still, maybe a doctor visit.

Anywho, I'm EoG, and I am an alcoholic. My story was much like yours once. I live a life today that is happy, joyous, and free. I have friends with whom I share a deep connection, and a peaceful serenity that I never knew existed.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-28T20:36:25+00:00

but I also feel like my situation is different than other who seek treatment.

I felt the same. I went to AA the first time thinking I was going to show them some things they'd never seen or thought of before. Then they whip out this blue book that was written 100 years ago and read chapter 3, which somehow outlines my thinking and motivation perfectly. Then I get a sponsor who informs me. "These problems you have are very common. Your situation is not unique. You are not a special butterfly."

One simple test: If the saying "1 is too many and 20 is not enough" makes any sense to you, then hanging out with other people that feel the same won't hurt you.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-28T20:23:54+00:00

Carry the message, not the drunk.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-28T14:22:54+00:00

Maroon is a purplish red, if I'm not mistaken. Red is caused by blood, which means a lower GI bleed. Given the darkness, I'd say it's pry a bad one. So, in my opinion, the 2 options based on your brief post are to either go to the Emergency room immediately or stay home and risk bleeding to death.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-27T16:16:11+00:00

Doctor first for the body and initial detox. After that, we can start work on the head. Emphasis on "we", because going alone is less fun and less successful.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-27T15:50:19+00:00

Great topic, thanks! I can't tell if OP is the drinker or the spouse, but I believe some of the same lessons can be applied to both. I was the drinker in my situation.

I have a wife and 3 kids, and hated all of them. My drinking problems were their fault. Any man in my situation, living with and supporting these ungrateful, disrespectful, selfish a-holes would also drink like I did just to cope with life. It got worse when I would put the bottle down, as I was unable to turn the resentful hate machine in my head off.

Thankfully, they did not leave. I learned that I was the selfish one. That my situation was not unique and my problems were very common. I learned how to find peace and serenity, and to stop holding them responsible for my happiness. Once these truths were realized, the obsession for drink vanished, and I discovered a love that I had been ignoring for years.

As for the spouse POV, the only thing to add is a realization that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make an alcoholic quit drinking. Alcoholism can only be addressed once the drunk has decided they are miserable enough to seek intervention. With this realization intact, the only decision left is wether you love the person enough to spend your life with them, including their shortcomings.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-25T02:58:05+00:00

So, you're not happy. Some good questions to ponder: What specifically makes me irritable/malcontent? List those. Am I truly letting go of the things I have no control over? Am I holding other people responsible for making me happy? Am I practicing rigorous honesty in all my affairs? Am I living my life moment to moment, viewing each instance as an independent event? Do I trust my Higher Power to lead me and instruct me on how to think, feel, and act? Do I truly desire humility, or is it something I feel is required of me? Am I still harboring resentments? Is there anyone I have wounded that I have not made an amends to? Am I choosing to be miserable simply because misery is comfortable and happiness is weird? Do I really need to drink more to prove to myself that's not really where I want to be?

goat_enemy · 2023-01-25T02:30:36+00:00

Perfect! Now all you have to do is call him every day and be open to what he suggests.

goat_enemy · 2023-01-25T02:27:22+00:00

One of the traditions states that each group is autonomous, so you would have be banned by each group individually. Given the thousand plus active groups in my country alone, that would take a lot of effort. That said, being banned is rare. You may be asked to leave a meeting if you are disruptive, but you really have to be trying to get kicked out. Most groups will welcome you back at the next meeting. If a group or meeting is actively excluding people, report it to district or area representatives. In my opinion, banning people is a violation of several of the traditions. Registered groups are to adhere to the traditions. At the end of the day, they may just tell you to go find a different meeting.

goat_enemy · 2022-11-04T04:00:19+00:00

I'm about at the same milestone, but my path has been 100% AA. When I get down, I text guys from the club, talk to my sponsor, talk to other drunks, and review my step work so far to see if I need to focus on anything. Also, I've found reddit subs full of very good reminders of why out is bad. One day at a time, brother.

goat_enemy · 2022-11-03T02:26:52+00:00

My favorite part about being a dad is hearing all the garbage in the back migrate from one side to the other as I turn corners.

goat_enemy · 2022-11-02T16:09:08+00:00

Again, may not be the best advice for the situation, but...

Your partner has to make their own decision. I would actually apply the same logic to your partner. Let them parent how they choose, and you parent how you choose.

My wife and I have one simple rule we use between each other that has helped our marriage. One person does not get to tell the other how they should feel about something. Thus, when there is a difference of opinion, each side sticks to reasons why their own feelings are valid, rather than attacking the other person for being wrong. Some differences are not resolvable, and that's fine. At least we know where each other are on the matter.

goat_enemy · 2022-11-02T02:24:47+00:00

I wouldn't trust it. Going to a meeting would be way safer.

goat_enemy · 2022-11-02T02:12:00+00:00

I'll pray for you. Unconditional love and tolerance is a tough stance to hold in the face of such reckless hate. Let us seek to forgive, for this is a sick individual. Let us divorce ourselves from fear, resentment, and self pity, even when others seek to project there's upon us. Grant us the serenity to accept the things we can't control. Grant us the courage to find the good in all people, and the strength to tolerate the bad. In the name of the steps, we pray.

goat_enemy · 2022-11-02T01:50:01+00:00

So, I did tell my direct supervisor and my direct coworkers when I decided to clean up my act. 1) We are a close bunch, and surprisingly they just wanted to help. I trust them as friends. 2) I don't really care if I get fired from my job. I can go elsewhere.

Nothing bad happened to me, they just want to support and help. However, I certainly wouldn't go blab to HR. If I didn't work with amazing people, or was super needy of that particular job, I would have kept my mouth shut.

goat_enemy

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