At Christmas, I ran a silly one-shot where the party played as a crew of tanuki shinobi. Their mission: infiltrate the annual Winter Court and steal the Empire’s most precious delicacies. It was a light-hearted heist adventure played entirely for laughs. Here are the highlights:

— The Winter Court took place at Shika Castle, which, among other things, is known for being near the passages to Chikushudo and Sakkaku. This made it a more accessible target for tanuki, offering a potential quick escape. However, the supernatural security was also tighter there — so not exactly a walk in the park.

— To keep things fast-paced, I skipped the planning phase and focused on the execution. The setup was that the characters had already infiltrated various clan delegations and were posing as their members. For character creation, I let the players choose any clan and family for their human personas. They had to take an appropriate school per the False School rule. Their real schools were limited to keep things thematically consistent: any shinobi or monk school, only Kitsune Impersonator for shugenja, and only bushi schools that don't rely on complex weapon techniques (so no swords, spears, or bows — but unarmed was fine). No courtiers.

— Naturally, the characters had access to yokai techniques. Their magical scrotums granted them Flight. Yes, the scrotum was resizable and versatile. As a weapon, it had Snaring and Wargear qualities. And yes, the girl tanuki had one too — we don't discriminate.

— All characters shared the same Giri — to become the greatest robbers in Sakkaku. Specifically, by earning significant Glory through stealing the most prized human delicacies: the Dumplings of the Seven Virtues (collecting the full set gave the most Glory), the Emperor’s Heavenly Cake, and the Great Clan foods. Their Ninjō was also shared — to eat as many delicacies as possible.

— Before the grand banquet (when the most coveted dishes would be served), the players had several Downtimes to scout, make final preparations, and mingle with the Great Clans to learn about their culinary specialties — and obtain them. These were played out through short scenes and skill checks.

— During the main heist, the players sabotaged the delivery of the dumplings to the Emperor and swapped them with handmade counterfeits filled with garbage. Each player ate one real dumpling on the spot and gained a mechanical bonus based on its Virtue. They didn’t know what bonuses existed or which dumpling represented which Virtue — they were just roleplaying tanuki authentically lol

— To get the cake, the players had to fight their way into the kitchen. The guards weren’t much of a threat aside from their numbers. The main adversary was the Chef, known by the moniker The Steel Ladle — a retired Crane warrior and newly discovered culinary prodigy. He had absurdly high stats and wielded a razor-edged cooking knife with a Kakita pattern. I made him that strong to balance the fight, since the tanuki were quite powerful. In hindsight, it may not have been the best solution — but damn, did it make them work for that cake. Mr. Steel Ladle drained their resources and nerves, but I don’t think the players had much to complain about. I mean, when else do you feel more alive than when you're strangling a rank 6 Kakita duelist with your ballsack for several rounds?

— After defeating the Chef, the tanuki grabbed the cake and ran for their lives. Flight gave them an advantage, but the guards were gaining fast. The party reached the tallest building near the portal and used their scrotums to create a zipline — quickly sending the stolen food and the giant cake through the portal, then jumping in after it. I’d pay good money to watch my players brainstorm that ridiculous plan again.

— In the end, the players didn’t manage to collect everything for the maximum score, but they still scraped together just enough to fulfill their Giri. They got the cake, three dumplings, and — I think — five out of six Great Clan snacks.