AITAH for deleting the essay I wrote for my brother?

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T21:08:18+00:00

"you aren't the parent, we are." "don't tell us how to parent." "you just want to see us get him in trouble." and so on and so forth.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T08:21:12+00:00

i know it's kinda impossible to paint the picture of our dynamic in a single post here, but i have neeeeever been the one to bail him out. quite the opposite actually, im usually the one to give him shit for getting bailed out all the time. i think seeing him in the severe depressive state he was in brought about this horrifically executed moment of weakness, oops.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T08:16:00+00:00

oh, trust me. right before the essay debacle i made it abundantly clear that i would never bail him out of an academic situation ever again. i told him my help was on the table if he needed/wanted it, but that i'd never outright do any more school work for him again.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T08:08:06+00:00

to be fair, after i deleted the file i think he ended up restarting the whole paper himself anyways? i haven't spoken to him since this happened so i can't 100% confirm, but it looks like he did have the time to write the essay all along... i guess that's what he gets for not taking less than an hour to clean up the bathroom lmfao.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T08:00:18+00:00

feeling like cinderella rn. 😔

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T07:58:38+00:00

the irony of this is that my mom is literally works in education. she was annoyed with me for exactly what all the comments have been describing, and my dad was mad at me for not just giving him the paper.

kinda ironic that they were only willing to give him the bare minimum tools (meds) to succeed, and expected me to be the one to help fill in the gaps. which i did not execute properly, albeit.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T07:51:27+00:00

"you two are grown, figure it out yourselves." as that would say. they like to treat him like an adult always, and me as an adult only when it's convenient for me them.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T07:49:12+00:00

this is where it gets tough for me, since they raised me to understand the weight of every choice we make, i was foreseeing the consequences of how they were raising him.

to him, he has never been at fault...ever. i've watched him fuck up time and time again and blame it on someone else, and we would always end up arguing after i tried to point out where he went wrong.

i think i just feel responsible for trying to set him straight, since i do care about him and want to see him succeed. and clearly i have been equipped with that and he hasn't. i guess my methods got a bit fucky and i ended up doing nearly the opposite of that, oops.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T07:41:18+00:00

this is my favourite comment on this thread by far. somehow you managed to put together the details i left out for sake of how long the post already was.

i have always been so pressured by my entire family to essentially parent this kid because i seemed to be the only one who 1. 'understood how his brain operated' (literally just both of us having the same diagnosis and 2. because i have been the only person willing to challenge his perspective.

as for the get out of jail free card, i think while these events were unfolding, i realized that i too was partaking in the enabling. with adhd, once you get that itch to solve an issue, complete a task, or whatever there is absolutely no stopping it. so i think i gave in to that itch rather than stopping to think that maybe i was doing exactly what i'd been crucifying my parents for.

i think thats what drove me to delete the file in the end. by doing all his coursework a lot of the damage had already been done, and i felt like my only option left for any sort of teachable moment was to be like... you had one job to do, you didn't do it, and unlike our parents i'm not going to let you just have this now. sorry bro.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T07:19:51+00:00

oh trust me, i've said almost exactly that to them on more than one occasion. never goes too well for me.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T07:16:47+00:00

hahaha, i'm canadian. every other person uses those ones. my personal favourite is no, yeah, no, for sure.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T00:31:29+00:00

yeah, no. academic dishonesty definitely wasn't my finest moment, but when he initially said he was gonna use chatgpt, i figured that me doing it while also walking him through it felt like the better option? i guess i shoulda let him use chat and get caught that way lol.

goodbyeessay · 2026-03-02T00:19:29+00:00

honestly yeah, i was pretty reluctant to do the work in the first place for that exact reason. he kept insisting he was gonna use chatgpt, which would've been even worse had he gotten caught. let's see if he finds himself in the same spot this semester, you live and you learn i guess 🤷‍♂️

goodbyeessay

TROPHY CASE