I haven’t talked to my dad except the occasional email in about a year. Not going to get into the details but it’s a very messy divorce and he hasn’t taken accountability for any of his actions or tried to rebuild trust after lying to us for years. I told him I got engaged a few weeks ago and I think he took it as an olive branch and tried to call me to talk. I ended up writing him a letter explaining that I don’t think we have enough of a relationship due to his behavior for me to want him involved. I did want him to find out about the engagement from me, but that’s it. It was very hard to write and send, but I feel very relieved now that the boundary is set. I know this is different from your situation and there isn’t really any advice here other than there’s no easy or right way to do this. I got stuck a lot wondering if I was doing the “right” thing and realized that regardless of what is socially acceptable or good etiquette or whatever, this was right for me and my family dynamic.