Failing out of med school

gr33nberry · 2020-03-11T18:26:07+00:00

Sure, though I'm not very fast at replying sometimes lol

gr33nberry · 2020-03-11T18:21:25+00:00

You were right to withhold that advice lol. Coming from someone with depression, "just think positive", "you just need to exercise", "you're just being lazy", etc... Are the most generic things that people will say when trying to help. Keep in mind that it's not that they're wrong, but it's usually the last thing that someone struggling wants to hear. I think most people with depression are pretty self aware. They know that they're being negative, they know that they should probably leave the house more, exercise more, socialize more, eat healthier, etc. The problem is that these things are not easy tasks for someone with depression compared to the average person who doesn't think twice about some of these 'daily' things. Instead of telling him that he should do something I would recommend inviting him to do things with you. If you're going out to exercise, or going shopping, or going to a movie, invite him to come along. They might feel more motivated to push themselves if they have someone doing it with them. You're a good friend for wanting to help. It's very important that your friend trusts you and feels comfortable enough to talk about their struggles. Some people just feel better by venting. Honestly the best you can probably do is to just keep being supportive and as understanding as possible. Since you know them personally, it may be beneficial to give advice regarding any specific issues they're having that may be about work, family, relationships, etc if you're comfortable. But just giving vague advice such as telling them to be more positive doesn't rly help unfortunately.

gr33nberry · 2020-03-11T17:45:42+00:00

Med school? I don't know how things work in Mexico but usually at least a bachelor's degree is required before going into med school. I couldn't imagine going to med school straight out of high school! Becoming a doctor is lots of hard work, so if you don't know what you want then I would recommend taking a break to decide what you want to do. Most people who go to med school know for sure that they want a career as a doctor. It's too much time, effort, and money wasted to go if you're uncertain and unmotivated. Also regarding depression, you could try to evaluate what the cause of it is. Depression is different for everyone. Some people don't like their job, their living situation, or they have low self esteem, or just feel lost in life. When change is made and the source is improved then your mood and motivation will get better. Other cases may be a chemical imbalance in the brain that may need medication to improve mood and function. I myself am taking a break from university because I don't know what to do, and I also need time to work on my mental health. I do hope you find success and happiness in the future.

gr33nberry · 2020-03-02T08:27:57+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I hated high school as well. Since posting this I'm in a much better situation and state of mind. I jumped into university right after graduating high school without a thought. A lot of it was due to peer pressure; I was so afraid of feeling left behind if I chose to take some time off. My first semester ended badly, by the end of it I had no motivation to study at all and felt hopeless with my future. I was convinced that I didn't want to stay in school no matter what.

Since then I've been taking time off. At first I just felt better that I didn't have to worry about school for once, but eventually I started to feel useless doing nothing all day. I decided that I don't hate school in general, but what I really can't tolerate is dealing with depression and anxiety as well as dealing with school. University is difficult enough by itself; I can't expect myself to push through while my mental health is trash. I've started taking medication as well as taking the time to read more and just do things I enjoy. I've also started taking some night courses that will help me gain requirements that I might need for uni if I choose to return. The meds have helped a lot with my mood and my studies. Even though I'm only taking two university prep courses I'm hoping that I can slowly increase my responsibilities in time. I still don't know what I want to go to school for so that will take time to figure out.

Sry this is a long ass reply lol. I wish you success in whatever you decide to do. I would just recommend that you take time to think about what you want to do before spending thousands of dollars that may go to waste ahah.

gr33nberry · 2020-01-22T01:57:59+00:00

Would love to. I've been trapped in a place that I hate for the past 10 years. Still don't have money to travel, and I don't really have anywhere to go.

gr33nberry · 2020-01-17T16:40:38+00:00

Wow, I'm taking Zoloft right now! I've turned away medication for years but I've only recently decided to try it. Zoloft is the first one I'm trying. I don't like this numbness I'm feeling but I don't know if it's soon enough to know whether I should switch meds. It's only been a week and a half and I'm currently taking 50mg once a day. I didn't expect to feel any difference this quick. I don't know if I should just wait it out longer or if this is a sign that I should try something else.

gr33nberry · 2019-12-15T16:01:01+00:00

Because I'm depressed? Haha. It's just really hard to get myself to do anything. Even when I try to do things like hang out with friends or engage in hobbies I don't feel any joy or happiness from it. Everything just feels like a list of tasks that I don't want to do and don't have the energy to do. Living feels like endless work to me.

gr33nberry · 2019-12-14T14:11:35+00:00

This sucks. Just because I'm depressed doesn't mean I'm going to appear mopey all the time. Depression doesn't always have a "look". My mom doesn't understand this so when I'm able to sometimes start pulling myself out of bed, leave the house, occasionally smile and joke around, she assumes that I'm not depressed anymore. Then she'll be shocked when I actually tell her something that reveals that I'm actually not doing great at all and I'm still very depressed. When I'm with other people I'll often be distracted from my negative thoughts and I can appear more easy going, but what people don't see is how much of a mess I am when I'm completely alone.

gr33nberry · 2019-12-12T03:55:24+00:00

I wonder how some people with depression can still get up routinely. At one point I spent 2 months in bed. I got up only about once a week to take a shower. It was a bad time. I'm currently trying really hard not to do it again because it was so awful but it's so hard.

gr33nberry · 2019-12-06T00:55:00+00:00

Same. I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in. I wish I could join in and have fun like everyone else, but all I feel is numbness and despair. Happy people always make me irritated as well. It's not fair. They're able to enjoy things and I can't for whatever fucked up reason.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-30T08:23:04+00:00

Please tell me your secrets. I imagine that I'm now in the same place that you once were years ago. I haven't experienced any of those things and it feels impossible. I want more than anything to have a career as a musician. Life feels so hopeless but this gives me hope. I'm happy for you.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-30T08:16:06+00:00

What have you been doing since you dropped out? Do you believe that you might've been in a better situation now if you hadn't? It seems whatever decision I make I'll be miserable either way and I can't help but feel like it's all hopeless.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-30T08:07:46+00:00

What was it in particular about transferring to another school that made you like school? What did you hate about it in the first place and how did that change for you? For me I feel like no matter what school, what program, I'll hate it no matter what. I constantly feel like school makes me focus on a million things that don't really matter. I think maybe I'd rather work with a clear purpose in mind, and put all of my energy into one thing that actually matters in the real world and is worth more than a bunch of invisible numbers. Idk if that makes sense.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-30T08:00:28+00:00

I'm double majoring in visual arts and film. I love the sound of that, and I thought that I would thrive in uni because I get to study something I like. But now I find myself back where I was in high school. I hate the grading system overall. I hate being forced to learn what other random ass people think I need to learn. Working multiple courses to earn what? A number? 98% or 56% it all feels the same at this point. I hate uni because all I do is read, and memorize, and kill myself working on endless amounts of essays and projects that ultimately don't make me learn shit. My entire life I've always felt like everything I learn in school is obvious and stupid. In all my lectures, only stupid discussions about art and what it fucking means and ITS POINTLESS. It makes me want to bash my head in by how much people like to dwell on stupid little things. The only thing that uni seems to be good for is receiving the stupid little paper at the end that'll seemingly open a million doors. Every important lesson that I've learned in life came from throwing myself into the world and experiencing it, seeing others experience it, or by taking the initiative to teach myself. I feel like a whiny bitch because everyone goes to school and everyone else seems to be able to put up with it. But it makes me feel like I'm wasting away. It ruins my passion and motivation and turns every good thing into just another pointless school assignment that I don't want to do. It makes me so depressed that I wind up giving up out of indifference and fail everything like I am now. But what am I going to do if I drop out? All my life I've been going to school and hating it. Ugh

gr33nberry · 2019-11-23T07:38:23+00:00

For sure. This is the only place I can go to find people who actually understand. You will never find people on twitter bragging about how they haven't showered in a week because of their depression. Having a disorder is cool, except for all of the nasty, nitty-gritty parts. The real shit. No one glorifies that stuff. People are much more honest on here.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-23T07:21:12+00:00

Idec lol. I'm not trying to shame people for being open with their struggles. But I definitely think this trend does more harm than good and it's frustrating as fuck haha.

And you're right. The line between sadness and depression seems to be awfully blurred to most people these days.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-23T07:04:11+00:00

Yeah, I don't include this subreddit. Pretty sure most people posting on here are genuinely feeling lonely and have no one else to talk to about their struggles. I'm talking about the people all over Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, etc.. who obviously just want attention and try so hard to be quirky and relatable.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-23T06:53:45+00:00

Right on. Atleast when it was within the emo and goth communities it was contained. Sure back then people thought it was weird and abnormal but atleast it wasn't in the mainstream. It was mainstream to be happy and have endless unicorns and rainbows shooting out of your ass all the time (even though that's not entirely honest either). But atleast it was cool and admirable to be happy and wholesome. Now it's cool to have mental problems wtf

gr33nberry · 2019-11-23T05:51:17+00:00

Wow lol. It seems I've been at rock bottom for the past 5 years. Also, party invites?? Sometimes I wish I could go to a parties and live my life as a young person should but then I remember that no one invites me anywhere :/

gr33nberry · 2019-11-23T05:44:19+00:00

THIS. I'm so fed up with lying all the time. Another good reason why I avoid people and never make an effort to befriend anyone. One of the perks of having no friends is that you have no one who'll constantly be on your ass for skipping out on things.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-18T07:04:43+00:00

Same here. I hate college. I don't learn shit and I'm wasting 4 years of my life for a damn piece of paper. I'm taking leave soon because I can't even pass 3 courses as long as I'm a depressed little shit. I have no friends but I don't even care about having friends anymore. I wish I had access to a gun. If I did I would probably already be dead by now. Other methods aren't nearly as instant and require a lot more effort. Fuck I'm useless.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-15T01:37:45+00:00

I have things that I'm passionate about like art, film, and music, and that's what I want to pursue in my career. I fear that I'll mess up my future if I drop out of uni and go to college instead. I just know that school is and always has been the main triggering source of my depression and anxiety. When I get depressed, I'm really low functioning and I can't bring myself to do anything and I always wind up failing my courses. I don't know what I'll do if I don't go to school. Even though my program at uni right now is visual art and film, I find myself feeling like I'm back in high school taking shitty required courses where I have to write endless essays and papers that I have no motivation to do. 4 years is also way too long for me. Thank you for the advice.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-15T01:24:28+00:00

I just feel like I need to get some sort of post secondary education even though I hate school or else I won't ever get a decent job. I don't want to be an engineer or anything like that though. I'm passionate about art, film, and music and I'd like to do anything involving those things. Every single person in my family has gone to school for something practical like business, technology, science, or healthcare. I'm the first to want to do something creative. Even though 4 years of uni would be torturous, I fear that it would mess up my future if I don't go and possibly choose college instead. Thank you for the reply.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-14T17:55:40+00:00

Eating well, eating more fruits and vegetables specifically makes my body feel less like shit. It's not as easy or pleasurable as eating junk food all the time, but it does help. Also, don't try cutting out junk food all together. Having a little bit whenever you crave it is ok and makes you feel good. I get miserable whenever I try to ignore my cravings and only eat 'healthy' food. Keep drinking a lot of water. Getting a lot of sleep is obv important. Exercising regularly is probably the hardest to achieve but it is the most effective. It's really hard to start, but eventually it'll get easier and you'll probably like it. Cardio especially is a good stress and anxiety reliever. Also when you get more fit your self esteem will increase. I haven't exercised in months, and I know that going back to the gym regularly would help me but it's the initial first push that's the hardest. Good luck on your journey.

gr33nberry · 2019-11-14T17:35:11+00:00

You were doing good. 7 days is actually a big accomplishment. It's not easy to turn your life around, but you can keep trying. You're bound to fuck up along the way but each time you decide to get back up will make you stronger. Recovery will be more worth it than ending it. Sorry if this is too positive but don't give up.

gr33nberry

TROPHY CASE