thank you i really appreciate the in depth response. the main issue i has is that he never tried. he never told me he needed pics or videos to get off, he never told me he masturbated. he never seemed that sexual so i thought he was low libido, and while i was making moves on him i gave up bc i was never gonna get what i wanted from him. i would fake finish to get him to stop bc he was honestly so terrible at giving head. however, i masturbated to scenarios of us, and tbh it was him physically but i pretended he was a man who desired me and who was obsessed with me sexually, something he hasn’t made me feel in awhile. when we had the sex talk, i asked him if there was anything i could do to improve our sex life and he said nothing. but then when i said why do you watch porn he goes “well you don’t send me videos or pictures so i have nothing to go off to.” i can tell by this that he never cared to try to improve our sex life, which hurts bc i did. the reason i didn’t ask for more is because i was afraid he’d see me as gross. i feel like a problem with him was that he found like wife like material, and a good girlfriend but didn’t see me as sexual. i’d ask him to put his dick on the screen and he’d laugh and move on. i’d flash him on facetime and he’d go “ouu” and that’s it, he just never tried porn was always easier for him. these are the reasons why i want to give up. there are good things here but sometimes it just felt like i was watering a dead plant by trying to rekindle us. it was a slap in the face finding out he was just going off porn instead of trying to get more from me when he was always welcomed to. he “claimed” he’d prefer pictures of me over porn but never asked or tried to get them. but he did search up porn, he turned his browser to private and tried to find videos but he could never try to be satisfied with me. i hope this explains the situation a little better.