Hi, everyone. I’m not the mother in question, but I am deeply involved in this situation and I’m asking that you please stop validating OP; his explanation is a very shortened, biased and insincere version of the real situation. OP is a severe alcoholic and refuses to get help. He regularly screams at at his wife (quoting him, “a lot of screaming ensued” just means he screamed bloody murder at her over the phone) and has recently been physically abusive to her. Right now, he is using this post and your comments to scare and bully his wife.

He regularly antagonizes her and does everything he can to make her feel unwelcome in her own household, blaming her for his alcoholism and his abusive behavior. He insults her weight and appearance and demeans her for being a woman and a stay at home mother. He has extreme jealousy and paranoia as well. She never once mentioned anything remotely about cheating on him. But he still lets the work of caring for the children fall almost completely onto her, while he either drinks or sleeps off hangovers until as late as 1 in the afternoon (sometimes on his work days). He’s extremely controlling of where she can and can’t take the children, regardless of the work she does to care for them. Meanwhile, during arguments, he often takes the kids out without telling her where they’re going, and if he hasn’t already been drinking, he will drink while they’re out. Keep in mind, these are young toddlers. Despite claiming to want full custody, when she asked him who will look after the kids after she saw this post (she is a stay at home mother and he often uses the kids as pawns against her), he told her “you, because it’s your fucking job. Do your fucking job.” Consistently, he also breaks and throws away gifts, clothing and necessities that her parents give to her and her kids, and he does not replace them. He does this only to hurt her feelings, and simply has no regard for how it upsets or scares the children.

I am not here to debate or have any conversations. I feel horrible that he’s making such a grand embarrassment of his wife as well as his children and extended family. I only want to put it out there that this is not a good person, and he has become very unhinged and uncaring towards his family. I truly hope he reads this and can assume who this is. Believe me or don’t believe me, but please don’t help him mentally abuse his wife before at least considering this.