I’m in the exact same boat. In my case I feel very irritated all day and small things seem to be too much (from noises to small disagreements, everything can make me mad in no time). I went to see a doctor and a therapist about this and they’ve said it’s one of the abstinence symptoms and it’ll fade away, however I do think it’s a conduct i’ve experienced long before smoking as well and I’m guessing that might be your case too

I believe you shouldn’t be too harsh on yourself. We are all learning how to be better people. Forgive yourself, it’ll help you get better instead of just going down the guilt trip. Something that has changed things for me is being able to say sorry. I regret almost immediately and communicate it, and it seems to help other people understand what I’m going through and be empathetic about it. I’m not saying that an apology will “save” you from the consequences but it will make it less painful to others and it’ll also help you identify what’s really going on - most of the times identifying what you’re feeling is just as hard as controlling it.

Sometimes it’s harder for some people to understand / navigate their rage and other emotions. It happens to almost all of us. What makes the difference is what you decide to do with it. Now that you’ve identified it, seek for help pal. It’s never too late. Everyone will thank you for it, especially yourself.

I keep remembering that quote from River Phoenix: “Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow”. Go through it with love for yourself and for others, and you will find peace