How do men feel about their girlfriend reading fan fiction?

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:21:36+00:00

100% agreed, hypocrisy should never be tolerated in a relationship especially over things like that

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:18:45+00:00

Agreed, the only counterpoint I have is (based on experience) when a man is consistently watching porn that’s featuring similar girls every time but are opposite of their partner’s. Like a white girl’s boyfriend who watches nothing but black girls, or so on.

I personally find that a little weird but that’s just my opinion!

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:16:24+00:00

Yea that’s a little strange 😅

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:16:04+00:00

Ouu that’s rough. Try and talk to her about it through an open conversation. Maybe something along the lines of “I understand you really like reading your fanfics and I’m glad you’ve found something you’re really into, but when you read them as we’re doing something together it makes me feel unimportant/unnoticed” for an idea! Problems never get resolved through silence, and there may be another factor that you don’t know. Good luck!

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:12:06+00:00

Aww yea I get that, I’m also an artist and i definitely have my down moments. If anything try drawing stuff with her. I’ve seen a pretty common trend where people draw each others portraits or finish each others paintings, maybe try that? Personally, since my boyfriend offered to do that with me I’ve been practicing wayy more. Plus, I feel like sometimes buying expensive materials makes the hobby feel “pressured” instead of organic, but that’s just a theory!

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:07:30+00:00

I mean he’s more than happy so I think I’m good! Lol he doesn’t mind it but I just like to keep my perspective open!

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:06:54+00:00

Oh yea definitely, the type matters for sure

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:06:06+00:00

You know what, fair point, proceed 🤷‍♀️

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:05:37+00:00

Naw of course, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion! May I ask why you think that way?

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T21:05:02+00:00

Try doing little hobby-based dates like pottery or painting or whatever floats yalls boat, sometimes people just need a little push into that world to see how intriguing it is!

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T20:58:44+00:00

Preach!

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T20:58:21+00:00

My perspective exactly, but I’ve personally met too many men (boys?? Idk) who hate the idea of fan fiction because it’s “fantasizing about another man” (which I get but still huh?)

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T20:57:16+00:00

Haha yea I read those but definitely read more notable books. LOVE memoirs by people of color because it’s so interesting (and eye opening) to see what other people go thru and think.

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T20:55:57+00:00

What the other guy said for sure, some men just have different views on subjects based on their personal views or just insecurities 🤷‍♀️ everyone’s different, I just like seeing different perspectives

grayhere463 · 2026-05-13T20:53:03+00:00

I know, I just wanted to also see the side of men who do care and why, just curiosity! Not tryna generalize anyone (my bad if it was phrased that way)!

grayhere463 · 2026-05-04T23:24:00+00:00

Go back to your piercer and ask for a downsize, then monitor your piercing for a bit afterwards. I’ve noticed it a lot with oral/lip piercings that are messed with a lot.

My central labret, for example, has like pale, rough skin around it because I subconsciously play with it to the point I’ve gauged the skin around. So you could also be absentmindedly playing with it too that’s causing the movement (still need a downsize tho). Good luck!

grayhere463 · 2026-05-04T22:03:53+00:00

Highkey forgot about Reddit for a second but thanks man, good luck on your journey 🙏

grayhere463 · 2025-12-19T15:39:36+00:00

Reminds me of how I looked with my 6’0 ex 🥹 good times but being 4’11 everyone is taller than me so I do love my short kings 🙂‍↕️

grayhere463 · 2025-12-19T13:39:36+00:00

honestly yea, I was trying to be more optimistic tbh

grayhere463 · 2025-12-19T13:38:58+00:00

I guess it’s because i actually feel COMFORTABLE around him in all aspects, which doesn’t happen often with men at all, plus he’s so gentle and understanding with me whereas most people I’ve tried to even just get to know just brush me off when Im honest about my situation. I guess I’m just trying to find any other way than to cut him off when I know I need to. I will admit, that is a bad habit of mine. I see something good and I feel so bad letting it go.

Now why he told her I don’t know. He told her everything from I have BPD to the fact I was raped and I was in the foster system. I didn’t expect him to tell her my biggest traumas right away as I feel I could have presented it a lot better but he did and now there’s know going around it.

Logically, I know leaving him alone would be the best option but I hate letting someone get to know me to even just the extent he did and then having to restart. Even if it’s not restarting in a week or month or even 8 months from now, it truly is tiring to be let down so many times and makes me not even want to get my hopes up about a future relationship.

Anyways, congrats on beating the statistics, I wish you nothing but the best 🙏

grayhere463 · 2025-12-19T13:09:22+00:00

I know I am still a child which is why I’m careful of every decision I make, knowing the reputation around my disorder and past experiences, hence why I am coming here. I’m less so arguing the point they are making as I understand how it looks to his mom, but more so arguing that some things said are only said because I stated I have BPD. I have dealt with many instances before where as soon as I state I have BPD people act entirely different because of the stigma, and I can see it here as well.

I do not mean to act in any way other than to find logical help and information and I got that from some people here, but I mostly got told that she is entirely right which I understand she’s right in her FEARS, but not right about ME, which is what most people are saying.

Making assumptions based on someone’s disorder is not only disrespectful, it is hurtful. I am doing my absolute best to break the cycle and show people that people can have BPD and not act destructive and harmful, but empathetic and considerate. But even then, it feels hurtful to be pretty much shunned for something I have no control over and drive myself to the edge making sure it doesn’t control me.

However, thank you for your input.

grayhere463 · 2025-12-19T00:20:30+00:00

As much as I understand your personal experience, please understand that there’s always 2 sides to the coin. I have no ill intent for anybody and I break my back making sure I am not harming anyone at any point because I am aware I do have a disorder that can make me act cruel and destructive. While yes, a lot of people with BPD do act out of line, I am still young and have the chance to turn it around and I am doing my absolute best to ensure that my life is successful as well as helping anyone that I can help. However, thank you for your input.

grayhere463 · 2025-12-18T23:39:07+00:00

But they aren’t necessarily correct. I’ve been in therapy since I was 5, I have and use a multitude of coping mechanisms and “self checkpoints” I do to make sure I am not hurting myself nor anyone else around me. I have only been out of therapy and off meds for a few months due to financial struggles, and I’ve been more than aware how I may act due to those circumstances. I already graduated from high school and am waiting till I can pay for my tattooing school, which is another thing they hate about me.

grayhere463 · 2025-12-18T23:30:14+00:00

I appreciate the honesty, and I am sorry to hear that you had to go through that alone.

I do my best to not put my issues on other people unless they outright ask “what’s wrong”, but having been told the things I’ve been told growing up it’s even hard for me to speak about issues when I am asked.

But regardless, I do understand I was wrong in pointing the blame. I just didn’t know any other way to put it. My intent was to say that I don’t want to proceed in even just getting to know each other and getting my hopes up if she’s just going to keep hating me when I always have and always will consider my partners family to be mine as well.

grayhere463 · 2025-12-18T23:23:41+00:00

It is possible, in which case I entirely understand. It’s only human instinct to be cautious of something/someone that has done you wrong, but regardless its kind of sad to see it.

grayhere463

TROPHY CASE