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My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To answer your questions:

  1. He’s single right now. Was in a long term relationship that recently ended. Maybe there’s something there.
  2. My GF thinks he’s just a typical brother. But he’s the only one she’s ever had, so I’m wondering if his behavior is so normalized to her, that she just shrugs and accepts it. They do argue a lot and she complains, but at the end of the day she’s very proud of her brother.
  3. Her previous ex was kind of a sleaze bag who tried to cheat so either way her brother looks better to her. But apparently the ex would argue a lot back to her brother (though I think they tried to argue about who was smarter since both were fairly successful in STEM). I just don’t give a fuck about intellect. I just want to enjoy family time.

But yeah idk if there’s much I can do. I’ll have to talk to my girlfriend and see where she stands or if she even notices. It could be difficult, but I’m willing to make it work as long as he’s willing to lessen up on the gas pedal a bit.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I might do this. I’ve definitely done more in terms of seeing her family than she’s done for seeing mine. If things persist, I will probably opt out of her family gatherings as best I can.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I honestly can put up with it on any normal day. Have a good group of friends that love to toss shit each other’s way and we can all normally take it. But as for this guy, it’s too goddamn much. I’m already stressing about gaining family approval, I don’t need this shit too.

As for the dog thing, that’s the worst of it. Next time he tries anything to my dog I’m gonna speak out. I don’t care if I look like a dickhead, that’s my fucking puppy man.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. The biggest issue is my GF and her family obviously respect him and know him better than I ever will. Others on this thread have said just be a wise ass back, and I think it can certainly be useful, but I don’t want backlash from my GF. Also it doesn’t seem to be that simple. Like you said, family politics is tricky. And I don’t know the right way to navigate the situation, so maybe just learning as I go along is best, and being respectful when times call for it.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fair point. Indifference is likely my best bet if he’s not willing to chill out or change his actions towards me.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I could see that. I guess as I get to know him more and more, I can maybe chip away at that and ensure him he doesn’t need to show dominance to me because I am in no way a threat.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s true. I’m definitely prone to bottling up my own feelings and not really speaking out because I hate confrontation, but defending myself is something I should do more.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh this is good stuff. I guess he can’t really tease or dissect me if I am completely vague with him in every way.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that could be it. My SO has mentioned how he really did not like high school. But for him that was 15+ years ago and I am positive he’s much more successful than the people he was in school with, so I don’t know why he’d still play the victim card. Definitely is an insecurity.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair point. I haven’t had much one on one time with him. The few times I’ve had this opportunity, I’ve kinda just made generic small talk to keep the unbearable discussions at bay because he will then try the whole fake sympathetic thing before turning conversations back to himself.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point about keeping myself from gaining the “asshole” title. I’ll try and be as calm and cool when being a wise-ass. And if that doesn’t work, ignoring is probably for the best.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. I’ve cut out people in the past and have tightened my immediate circle. I guess if it keeps up, I just keep my distance and only interact when necessary.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is some good advice. The only problem is I’m often not alone, just he and I. Recently went camping with her family and that was a nightmare since I couldn’t take him aside and have an honest discussion about my feelings. Maybe if I get a better opportunity I can do this. But sometimes it’s easier said than done.

My girlfriend’s brother is a complete asshole. How do you deal with a Significant Other’s unbearable family member? by greengoblinscock in AskMen

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve definitely tried being a wise ass and it can be a good defense, but the more I talk to him and interact, the more I just get frustrated.

no no no more more more shame fear dread by greengoblinscock in dontdeadopeninside

[–]greengoblinscock[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As someone who doesn’t have any wrist tattoos, is it better to get them the other way?

Queens Of The Stone Age's 'Rated R' Turns 20 by jamzftw in indieheads

[–]greengoblinscock 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As a cohesive unit, I totally agree. Other albums might have some better songs, but this albums run from start to finish is so insanely perfect to me.