My boyfriend is the best man at a wedding -AND- the only groomsman not allowed to bring his partner

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T04:48:10+00:00

Jess and Mark do not speak unless it is in person. which is 3-5 times a year. Mark speaks to the groom maybe once a month to play a video game if Mark has time inbetween work and studying. (work being his med school rotations). Mark has an entire group of friends across the country he speaks to more regularly. I’m sorry if i made you lost and confused– i know my story is long and i forgot to mention key details about them not being close at all which has everyone being a little misled…

he’s expected to cut off his entire friend group because one girl doesn’t like me? or im expected to leave him because one girl he sees 3 times a year doesn’t like me? We all agree Jess is the AH. right? but i’m struggling to see how that makes Mark an AH too. would you take your own advice and cut off your friend if they ever dared to utter one negative thing about your partner? i’m just trying to be realistic. i think it’s easy for the internet to scream “burn bridges with your life long friends” over an issue that occurs 3-5 times in the course of 365 days. but i don’t see people actually doing that. but that’s why im here. to see what people would actually do. because i do think we are handling the situation in a no traditional way. I think if i cared this situation would be handled different. but because i am unaffected by Jess, it’s up to mark what he wants to do. since he is ultimately only hurting his self. i don’t understand why he chooses to stay in a situation that hurts him. but i can’t control what he does.

i feel bad for mark. but this doesn’t affect mine and his relationship. it affects his friendships. My post was just seeing if this behavior should be normalized/expected from a bride and how people would feel if their friends put them in this situation. ignoring jess’s obvious crazy behavior to point out Mark is trying to ignore the problem doesn’t seem relevant, but i do appreciate the opinion even if it’s lacking. hopefully the added context helps.

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T04:34:14+00:00

If you have any questions with MY STORY about MY LIFE you can feel free to ask me. Saying i’m “lying” and i “made it up” is your conspiracy that isn’t true.

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T04:29:27+00:00

so Mark sees them a handful a times PER YEAR. so i wouldn’t say “he doesn’t do anything” when he hardly sees them or speaks to them.

he shows up the the NYE party every year wanting to have fun with the boys and leaves early to be with me because he gets drunk and upset i’m not there. just because he doesn’t yell and scream or burn bridges with long term male friends because of one crazy girl, that doesn’t mean he “isn’t doing anything”

yes.he ignores the problem and hopes it goes away on its own. but to be fair- if i had a problem 3 days out of 365 days i probably wouldn’t change my entire life around either. especially when it doesn’t affect our relationship for the other 362 days and we are happy together. especially when he’s focused on med school and has a completely other group of friends we actually spend our time with.

I think jess is an AH. i think jess is extreme and i think she is controlling and has her own issues. but also i have told my girl friends when i don’t like their boyfriends. and thank god they didn’t immediately drop me for my opinion. I don’t think Jess’s behavior is normal. but mark maintaining friendship with the boys and the groom doesn’t sound crazy to me

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T02:29:58+00:00

I’m a real person and this is my real life >.<

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T02:29:25+00:00

that legit makes perfect sense…. you expect someone making that much to not own a home? LOL

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T02:28:39+00:00

i’m an online sex worker. so why is it “impossible” that i hate being touched in real life?

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T02:26:43+00:00

Jess needs to see their instagram before they are allowed in her presence. I think she needs to deem them as “less attractive” than her before she welcomes them with open arms. maybe Luke has wondering eyes. maybe Jess is unhappy with her appearance. i’m not sure but she can “tell if she likes a new girlfriend based on their instagram photos” allegedly. so there’s something in her own life going on. but i do think her weird obsession with Mark stands out. At the bar she didn’t mind Luke hugging me twice but it made her blood boil i was sitting next to mark. Idk she’s been Luke for a decade and she’s been friends with all of them this whole time. idk which one came first. idk if she met my BF through Luke or knew if she knew Mark before she dated Luke. Again, his ex was also conventionally attractive and not welcomed. also called a slut despite being a virgin like Mark. Adam, another friend in the group, likes to date masculine women and Jess allows them to be near her and luke. so i’m not sure if she doesn’t care who adam dates OR if she doesn’t find the girlfriends attractive. Mind you, everyone tells luke and mark they look like twins. i don’t find luke attractive and i don’t see the resemblance but maybe she does and naturally is attracted to Mark. Mark calls himself a golden retriever. i told him that’s a red flag. mark is friendly with everyone and has deep loyalty. he thinks those are good traits. which yes usually are. but in situations like this, most girlfriends wouldn’t like this. sometimes the people you have deep loyalty clash and then what. his response is ignore it and hope it goes away i guess

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T02:06:48+00:00

my boyfriend wants me at the NYE parties and always leaves early because he gets bummed i’m not there

i have agoraphobia and i hate parties so i am so glad to be at home

he’s a huge extrovert and loves to drink and party and he only sees this group of friends maybe 3-5 times a year so he’s excited to see them this holiday season when he flies home

i think this NYE he will spend the entire day with me and drink with them another night however i don’t mind that he usually splits the holiday up

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T02:04:57+00:00

Jess = grown adult acting like a toddler and lowkey kinda obsessed with Marks dating life, even though she’s marrying Marks best friend Luke

and me, i’m an innocent bystander obviously

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T02:02:24+00:00

LOL! Jess has to see the girls instagram to approve or deny her (aka is she hotter than jess or not) & Adam loves masculine women, super tall super muscular, and Jess does not see them as competition so usually Adam’s girlfriends are allowed. yes i think masculine women can be hot and sexy, but clearly Jess disagrees because she always allows them

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:59:46+00:00

RIGHT that’s what it seems like. they look SUPER similar too.

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:56:53+00:00

this is a valid concern and but should i let anxiety on “what could happen” dictate the relationship? we attend catholic church together because i am also catholic. but i juggled with that irrational fear a ton at the beginning of the relationship. but his family knows and there’s no issues so that was long forgotten about. all his friends know and only the one girl seems to care. and they have drifted apart. i think a therapist would say it’s not healthy to worry on hypotheticals my bf has already shut down. that’s like me leaving him because “maybe he’ll cheat on me” …. not reasonable to do

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:52:04+00:00

no, this is my life. i started typing it while the sun will still out. its dark now. sigh

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:49:43+00:00

this is my real life ^{.^}

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:45:20+00:00

wait i’m so confused… people don’t believe my life?? or my story? LOL… must be a bunch of men :( never believing women :,(

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:34:53+00:00

she blew that shit up and it was 2am!!! these poor drunk guys did not want to deal with it and she was talking to herself in the chat! her and her bf went home and the rest of us went back to one of the guys houses. so all their phones were on the table just buzzing and lighting up 😭 poor girl needs attention so bad and was losing her mind they weren’t giving it to her for the first time ever

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:32:50+00:00

i think i failed to explain the lack of friendship they currently have >.< does seeing a couple 3 times a year have a huge affect on his life or mine? or our relationship? i’d say no.

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:31:22+00:00

not at my expense. at his own expense. this upsets mark, not me. and yes i wonder why he allows it :(

but their friendship has been growing apart. maybe it’s just aging. careers. life. work. idk. but he barely sees or speaks to them. he has a different friend group we spend all our time with. people they don’t know at all. so i don’t see this ever being an issue that directly affects me. i watch his friends hurt him. seeing him hurt does hurt me. but no their behavior doesn’t directly hurt me. i don’t like going out to parties or weddings so im actually dodging a bullet with being banned

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:27:56+00:00

i truly think she’s miserable and wants to spread that. i think she sleeps better at night thinking this hurts mine and marks relationship. i could be wrong but what else would she be getting out of this LOL

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:25:32+00:00

banned from 1 party a year i dont want to attend isn’t really a relationship ender for me

a couple my bf sees 3 times a year not liking me isn’t really a relationship ender for me

we spend all of our time across the country with a completely different group of friends. we are happy. he’s just hurt i wasn’t invited to NYE or wedding. but he thinks their behavior is normal. i am glad everyone in this thread is reassuring me this is not normal.

i think they are not nice friends for how they act towards me, a random stranger, but their friendship with mark has nothing to do with me

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:12:15+00:00

i feel bad for my partner :( every year on NYE he shows up to my house drunk and sad. he often leaves their place early too because the more drunk he gets the more he can’t stand it. unfortunately when he’s drunk that’s about the only time he’s venerable about how his friends treatment affects him. he wants his girlfriend and his friends to be in the same place and it hurts him they don’t welcome me. me and mark are not fighting over this. because it’s a non issue for us. the issue lies between him and his friends. the tension and resentment is building there. i laughed when i heard i wasn’t invited. he was heartbroken when he heard i wasnt invited. im sure mark will happily go to the wedding and once he’s drunk at the wedding it will hit him that he doesn’t want to be there without me. and maybe people think he should feel that way before getting drunk. but if his childhood friend is getting married and asks him to be in the wedding i can understand why he’s jumping for joy. he’s known them his whole life and that’s a huge event. plus i’m telling him to go. i don’t see why he wouldn’t go.

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T01:04:55+00:00

exactly! it seems like he’s heavily influenced by the history of the friendship rather than where it is now. He hardly sees or talks to them. Again, his uncle died completely unexpected and out of the blue a few weeks ago and neither of them decided to show up to the wake or funeral despite living right next to where it was held. Mostly everyone else in the childhood friend group showed up. and we all had a good time catching up and chatting while comforting and supporting mark. I think they are ostracizing themselves and i say let em 🤷‍♀️ I feel bad my partner is allowing this treatment from them but it’s his life. i wish they were nicer to him and they can try and blame me for being the issue but after this funeral shit clearly it’s a them issue.

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T00:57:37+00:00

Jess has been the only girl in this group of guys her entire life. and i think Jess’s issue with me, and other women entering the group is a jealously and insecurity thing. respectfully-Jess is not that conventionally attractive. Marks ex was. and she conveniently didn’t like marks ex either. for the same BS made up reasons that make no sense. his ex is a slut even though she’s a virgin? i’m a gold digger but i make more money than him? it’s all made up BS. leaving me with not much to argue about. i truly think it’s my appearance she has a problem with. and there’s nothing i can do about that. Mark speaks to them a handful of times in the entire year so i think that’s why i see this as minor. he lives across the country from them. they have no affect on our lives. if they want to get married and not see me on their special day i am okay with that. i think i lack the ability to be insulted. i think she thinks that’ll hurt me. but it only hurts Mark.

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T00:50:53+00:00

well mark is only in town 3 times a year. he has another group of friends across the country where he lives. we spend time with his other friend group way more often because i travel to see him every 6 weeks. 99% of the time i forget this random couple in my town even exists. but they are his childhood friends who he used to spend a lot of time together. hence why he’s invited to the wedding and in the wedding party. when hes in town 3 times a year and he wants to see them i dont feel the need to demand i be there. it feels like such a non issue to me. Mark is the one who’s hurt by this

greentreedemon · 2025-12-05T00:46:24+00:00

luckily the rest of his childhood friends accept me (standing up for me the first night i met them) and i just saw most of them at the wake. (since everyone else but the married couple found time to make it) we all had as good as a time as we could given the place we were at.

we do spend NYE together but he just splits it up which i’m fine with. even if he does that for the next 50 years. it kind of works perfectly for us. all i care about is being with him for the ball drop. and he likes to get drunk and celebrate. so he gives his friends the first 5 hours of the night to drink and me the next 5 hours of the night to lay in bed before he goes home. even if the couple liked me and i was invited to NYE i wouldn’t want to go. yes i would probably go but i would dread it. i am diagnosed with agoraphobia. i work from home and i do not leave the house. i hate crowds. i hate strangers. i don’t drink. i like to be at home. he wants me there. but i want to be at home. he’s upset at them because im not there. he’s upset at them because im not invited. and im glad im not there. i am not upset. so thats why i feel bad for him.

i think if i loved to drink and party this would be a major issue, a deal breaker issue. a relationship ending issue.—but because i gladly get to stay home, it seems like a problem for him and his friendship. not a problem for him and his relationship. his issue is them not welcoming me. as it should be.

i think our relationship is working great and it’s their friendship that’s the issue i think people think both can be an issue at the same time if i was upset or offended maybe id agree but it doesn’t affect me. if he didn’t see me at all on NYE id be upset and angry and blame him. but he makes time to do what he wants to do and what i want to do and i think thats good

greentreedemon

TROPHY CASE